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About This Poem
Suicide Survivor
I've used up my suicide cards in my
youth. Five attempts was plenty enough.
No one ever told you how hard it actually
is to kill yourself. I never realized I
suffered from severe depression as a
child even though growing up was very
painful. In my early fifties is when the
tumor struck. I was smelling things that
weren't there. The Doc's found a tumor
and decided that surgery was the only
option. The tumor was called a
Cavernous Angioma. It had been there
since birth. The Cavernous Aangioma
was in the emotional part of the left
frontal lobe and so the surgeons didn't
eliminate it completely. This explain the
vast depression in my youth. Since the
CA was not removed completely I
continue to have a partial tumor inside
my brain and finally after eleven years of
seizures have found a medication that
elminates them.
I still suffer from depression but the
eleven pills I take eliminates the
depression. Now that I've finally gotten
all my physical/psychological problems
in order I lead a very happy, productive life.
I spend most days writing and take
a poetry and memoir class at the
local college.
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