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road trip on fall day

Sara Kendrick Avatar Sara Kendrick - Premium MemberPremium Member Send Soup Mail Go to Poets Blog Block poet from commenting on your poetry

Below is the poem entitled road trip on fall day which was written by poet Sara Kendrick. Please feel free to comment on this poem. However, please remember, PoetrySoup is a place of encouragement and growth.

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road trip on fall day

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road trip on fall day
              highway under construction...
                                       powerful tar scent

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  1. Date: 11/12/2012 2:45:00 PM
    I could almost smell that tar - very clever haiku, Sara

  1. Date: 11/11/2012 5:10:00 PM
    nice one, thnx for sharing!! Jag

  1. Date: 11/11/2012 2:48:00 PM
    Some roads can be a hazart, A very nice expressed Haiku poem. Thanks for sharing it.God bless you. Hugs! Erich

  1. Date: 11/11/2012 1:21:00 PM
    Lovely and thoughtful as always, well done ... love your haiku Sara. Having a nice Sunday afternoon. - oxox / / Anne-Lise :)

  1. Date: 11/11/2012 12:05:00 PM
    I love the smell of asphalt in the morning. That's what I do.

  1. Date: 11/11/2012 11:12:00 AM
    This is a wonderful and very delightful write my friend! I really enjoyed reading this enlightening and phenomenal poem this afternoon! What a fun poem Sara, I was pleasantly surprised by this write! Great Work!!

  1. Date: 11/11/2012 11:09:00 AM
    Is this where you wanted constructive criticism, Sara. This is nice but not one of my faves of your haiku. When you do a really good one, I always let you know!! For me, this one sounds more like cause and effect haiku. But I enjoyed the way you added "scent" to it.

  1. Date: 11/11/2012 9:31:00 AM
    Line 3 is very powerfull, nice to draw SCENT in [a fall highway steams/while under construction--] see how the verb gramtically ties line 1 & 2 together? right now you have 3 parts, you need two. two prepositional phrases would join also /gramatically but I can't think of how to do that with this right now ;) PS I know the Eve wwrite was a bit befuddling if you let me know just where you lost the thread..I will work more on it L & L

  1. Date: 11/11/2012 8:30:00 AM
    Yes, it is an irritation here as well - why can't the road works not be completed before the holidays hit us? They dig up the road and there are more traffic cones than trees lining the main roads over the festive season. Love this haiku - nature taking a back seat to "progress".... ;-) Love, Su

  1. Date: 11/11/2012 7:55:00 AM
    i can smell the tar, sara.. well constructed 'ku!, real solid write!.. :) huggs

  1. Date: 11/11/2012 7:33:00 AM
    is progress our most important product?