Dreaming shows you many hidden things in your mind; it opens you to alternative thinking…
Here I am, stuck, in the middle of it all, every day I face these things, alone. Once I find myself in-between a decision that is for better or for worse. It is a decision between happiness in another, and in myself. Before me I see to doors, both seem the same, but I know they are different. One the left I see my life without really living…
This life is steady, stable, I take no risks, and it is boring. It is my life without her. I have always followed this road, and my mind has enjoyed challenging myself to school work, but today, my heart loathes for the love it never really had.
On the right, I see the same door, but with a different outcome. I see my life with her, the path I am currently on. This life is one with the one I love. I don’t know if this would be a stable life, but it is a healthy life, full of risks, it is fun, and I know in my heart it is the life I want. I want both, but I know I alone cannot focus full attention on both, at the same time.
So as I steer towards the right, because I want to be happy, I begin to enjoy my rather what used to be boring life. As time goes on I begin to realize that the choice is mine, I can life my own life. I try to make my own door, a middle door. I follow this path for a while, but every good thing must come to an end, I must choose, left or right.
Worried I may have lost the right, I steer towards the right door, thinking I have made the right choice I go to open the door, but at the last moment I hesitate. I do want to be happy, but is this truly how I want to live? I feel stupid for doubting myself, I go to the left, I almost open the door but I hesitate again, which is the right choice? I don’t know what to do but then I do what every person must do, I listened to my heart, I move to the right, and open the door. I try to peer through to happiness, but I wake up. Why couldn't I choose sooner? Happiness in someone or happiness in myself? Someone to be with? Or someone to be? Unhappy with myself, I realize that either door was better than no door.
I ask this question to anyone out there like me. How do you want to live your life? Happiness or happiness? Living day to day happy as I can be. Or living (most likely) alone, but stable. What is your decision, to the ultimate decision? I know now what I want to choose, and I choose her, but question goes both ways, does she choose me too?