Submit a Poem
Get Your Premium Membership
spacer
Pinterest button
Comments Inbox

 

shine

behind weaving
maple branches and leaves,
the sky is hidden;
instead, I see stars shine
in the night of your eyes











(4/6/5/6/6)

*This is a new version of an older tanka of mine -- not intended for 
any of the many tanka contests still possibly going







.

Please Login to post a comment
 
  1. Date: 12/22/2012 1:35:00 AM

    wow Chris, this is amazing, never seen the softer side of your poetry,, should have know, with your talent.. i'm not a big christmas fan,, but you and your family have a wonderful festive season, and keep them coming, poems that is....

  1. Date: 11/5/2012 3:53:00 PM

    fantasticly romantic!

  1. Date: 11/2/2012 11:33:00 PM

    Soup Mail.

  1. Date: 10/25/2012 9:01:00 AM

    Hey my main man, a true tanka in my eyes. I don't know if you intended all the depth I see in the first three lines, but you should work on them as a haiku. I see friends fighting, spouses disagreeing. Good write. Ck. your soup mail.

  1. Date: 10/23/2012 7:38:00 PM

    Enjoyed this tanka. Soup mail. An apology.

  1. Date: 10/23/2012 10:23:00 AM

    lovely analogy! you have such a romantic heart. Light & Love

  1. Date: 10/22/2012 4:01:00 PM

    chris, i emailed you like you said. Hope to hear what you have to say!

  1. Date: 10/22/2012 3:36:00 AM

    soupmail :)

  1. Date: 10/21/2012 6:34:00 PM

    "in the night of your eyes"!! A romantic ending, Chris! ...Aha! 4 again! : )

  1. Date: 10/20/2012 1:08:00 PM

    I really love this new version... :)

  1. Date: 10/20/2012 5:17:00 AM

    If I am a bully report me to the soup. You can contact them at the bottem of the page. If you don't I will! And I will have to show them the mess you made on my site as evidence of your not being ballanced. just maybe if you clean it up I'll reconcider. So long chris its been a nice two years.

    Aechtner Avatar Chris D. Aechtner Date: 10/20/2012 3:55:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    *cont'd* -- I am not sure wot it is, but you are obviously obsessed with hounding me. I thought maybe you would become bored with it, but the signs clearly indicate how you enjoy victimizing people here on poetrysoup.com.
    Aechtner Avatar Chris D. Aechtner Date: 10/20/2012 3:53:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    Wait, you are going to report yourself? Finally. John 'The Situation' Loving III, you are clearly completely delusional. For 2 1/2 years I left your main account, and 2 alt. accounts alone, even though you continued targeting me in a malicious manner. After more than 2 years of taking your slander, I finally retaliated on your pages....that's after pushing my buttons over and over again. You didn't like being blocked, so you continue to slither onto my poems via the reply section of other comments. When my patience ran dry after being bullied by you for years, I gave you a taste of your own medicine, and you certainly appear not to enjoy the taste at all. There's not much to reconsider as you full-well know how the replies cannot be removed; only the comments themselves can be removed.
  1. Date: 10/20/2012 5:07:00 AM

    All I see is someone hidding behind a tree.

    O. Avatar Ruben O. Date: 10/21/2012 6:31:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    John, this is not nice.
    Aechtner Avatar Chris D. Aechtner Date: 10/20/2012 3:39:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    And that's perfectly fine....
  1. Date: 10/20/2012 12:46:00 AM

    chris, I think it would work for the pivot contest. Just going off here now and spotted you as I posted my silly feather poem. GREAT work.