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shine

Chris D. Aechtner Avatar Chris D. Aechtner - Premium MemberPremium Member Send Soup Mail Go to Poets Blog Block poet from commenting on your poetry

Below is the poem entitled shine which was written by poet Chris D. Aechtner. Please feel free to comment on this poem. However, please remember, PoetrySoup is a place of encouragement and growth.

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shine

behind weaving
maple branches and leaves,
the sky is hidden;
instead, I see stars shine
in the night of your eyes











(4/6/5/6/6)

*This is a new version of an older tanka of mine -- not intended for 
any of the many tanka contests still possibly going







.

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  1. Date: 12/22/2012 1:35:00 AM

    wow Chris, this is amazing, never seen the softer side of your poetry,, should have know, with your talent.. i'm not a big christmas fan,, but you and your family have a wonderful festive season, and keep them coming, poems that is....

  1. Date: 11/5/2012 3:53:00 PM

    fantasticly romantic!

  1. Date: 11/2/2012 11:33:00 PM

    Soup Mail.

  1. Date: 10/25/2012 9:01:00 AM

    Hey my main man, a true tanka in my eyes. I don't know if you intended all the depth I see in the first three lines, but you should work on them as a haiku. I see friends fighting, spouses disagreeing. Good write. Ck. your soup mail.

  1. Date: 10/23/2012 7:38:00 PM

    Enjoyed this tanka. Soup mail. An apology.

  1. Date: 10/23/2012 10:23:00 AM

    lovely analogy! you have such a romantic heart. Light & Love

  1. Date: 10/22/2012 4:01:00 PM

    chris, i emailed you like you said. Hope to hear what you have to say!

  1. Date: 10/22/2012 3:36:00 AM

    soupmail :)

  1. Date: 10/21/2012 6:34:00 PM

    "in the night of your eyes"!! A romantic ending, Chris! ...Aha! 4 again! : )

  1. Date: 10/20/2012 1:08:00 PM

    I really love this new version... :)

  1. Date: 10/20/2012 12:46:00 AM

    chris, I think it would work for the pivot contest. Just going off here now and spotted you as I posted my silly feather poem. GREAT work.