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Hiccups
Today I got the hiccups
Smack, clear out of the blue.
Those fiends up and attacked me
Without notice or clue.
I gulped a cup of water
And held in all my breath,
Then asked my friends to scare me
Quite nearly half to death.
My headstand was just awesome,
I pinched my nose and spun,
Dissolved a cube of sugar
Real slow upon my tongue.
I sucked in lots of fresh air
Then burped all of it out.
And even yelled “AHWOOOOOGA!”
As loud as I could shout.
I grabbed the peanut butter
And spooned out a big glob,
Plopped it in my mouth but, drats-
It did not do the job!
The pickle juice was awful.
Brown paper bags don’t work.
And bending over backwards
Made me look like a jerk.
I can’t fhicinish speaking
Or lick my ice cream cone.
These hiccups are relentless-
I feel so all alone!
Oh, if I had a cure for
This pain that’s ailing me,
I’d put it in a bottle
And give it out for free!
By Susan Burd © 2011
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