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A state of confusion

   I was in a state of confusion,where I was not feeling very well 
   Lost in this world of seclusion and all I could do is sit and dwell
   Confused,because I still coudnt find a way through all this mess
   Always feeling the blues, will I ever find a cure for this illness?

   I took every pill possible because I felt so low and depressed
  Trying I was to get back up that hill, though with no progress
   I tried to be strong, which meant dealing with the pain inside
   So I ask was it wrong?, I was so intent on comitting suicide

   If you can see where I'm coming from?, it's a long winding road
   I just felt like this time bomb ,where I'm now waiting to explode
   People would say it's madness it's self- pity taking all those pills
   It's the sadness and feeling shitty more than anything that kills

   With so many bad memories and with what I felt this bitterness
   Is why I took so many o.d.s, I just could'nt find any happiness
   It was my only release from this hell ,it was my only solution
   Knowing my thoughts would cease now, no more confusion 
                                     
                A poem inspierd by a friend from cov,(1997)
             Written at a low point in my life between feb/97feb/98
                      Some bits rewritten during 2000/ 2002
                  During this time I took anumber of overdoses
      I was twenty two I was doing ok at time but then the past has away
         Of catching up with you this a long with worlds aprart was my
      Insperation for writing in the first place, it,s kind of grown from that
       I did also a few years later wrote one called age of enlightlment
             which adds a little bit more content about these times
                                                                                                                                            

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  1. Date: 10/9/2012 9:32:00 PM

    Completely awe-inspiring. I hope this depression and confusion is merely a thing of the past. I am very grateful to have the opportunity to read this poem. Always, Laura