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  1. Date: 9/22/2012 5:14:00 AM

    i love this too Joann, a reduced syll count too how clever, i find the more one reads this, the better it becomes, it is really wonderful

  1. Date: 9/21/2012 4:38:00 PM

    Seperation can be hard, even when all is well...Beautiful write!

  1. Date: 9/21/2012 4:27:00 PM

    I agree with Russell, this poem is gorgeous. They both are wonderfully penned. Luv, Gail

  1. Date: 9/21/2012 2:56:00 PM

    This is a wonderfully gorgeous write, I love both versions a lot! I didn't know you can vary the syllable count for a Tanka, this is good to know! You've done excellent with your write, I really enjoyed reading it this afternoon! Great Work!!

    Grisetti Avatar Joann Grisetti Date: 9/22/2012 12:47:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    Sometimes when translating from another language, the syllables count cannot be forced. If I forced the 5/7/5 7/7 it would translate much longer into Japanese.