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CAN YOU SPEAK -WOMAN-

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Below is the poem entitled CAN YOU SPEAK -WOMAN- which was written by poet Sidney Beck. Please feel free to comment on this poem. However, please remember, PoetrySoup is a place of encouragement and growth.

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CAN YOU SPEAK -WOMAN-

CAN  YOU  SPEAK  WOMAN?

I can speak French and sometimes Chinese
I can also speak cat with some ease
When he  miaows at me as he goes
I mimic his call and he  knows
When the dog barks I reply
Even the horse and I see eye to eye
But I can’t speak “woman”
It’s beyond the speech power of a man.
I can’t talk for hours about shoes

And discuss the merits of mauves or blues
Or share the humour of how pink bows  
Don’t go with green  pillows
                                                                                                                                 
And go all weepy over Meryl  Streep

Or wax lyrical over some punk-rock creep

Or persuade some guy to discuss flowers

Rather than the size of the nuclear powers  
.. . . . so she  said. . . . so then I said. . . 
And  she whispered. . . . and her face went red. . . .

No it’s impossible to spend hours on the phone
I’d rather sit watching football all alone
It’s futile me trying to pretend
An interest in what gift to send
Or remember birthdays wi th accuracy
Such a task would drive me crazy
God save me from female speech
Let me speak “man”,  I beseech
Just let me sit alone and grunt
Or maybe shoot, fish,  and hunt
And talk to the dog about football facts
Or maybe  to the car while I wax.













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  1. Date: 9/19/2012 2:55:00 AM

    Oh we could have a good conversation Sid, I don't do woman talk very well. I don't do shoes, or bows or colour schemes. I don't do weepy movies, well I do some.... I love fishing I clean the car, do the garden and I talk football, not very good but one has to with male friends that are obsessed. I dislike bouquets and would not have picked flowers in the house they should be let to grow and serve their purpose xx

  1. Date: 9/18/2012 1:35:00 PM

    this is very funny! i think that we women would have an equally difficult time speaking "man," but you've made your point very convincingly!