"Wedding of a Wench"
a joyous celebration promised arrived on lacy invitation
bring only your smile as a gift to offer congratulations
but my cousin, Marlene, was known as a troublemaker all her life
now so hard to imagine she'd make any man a good wife.
more out of curiosity my honey and I opted to go
after many years of disfunction change makes people grow
nothing could have prepared me for the show 'twas 'bout to see
there is a lid for every pot and fun is always free.
the rough flight to Las Vegas was bumpy and too long
spent all my time with eyes closed tight chanting the wedding song
as the plane landed I tried to unclench my fist
wondering which magic potion she used to snare a sharp dentist.
the trip to the chapel 'neath bright lights of Sin City
my high heels hurt my toes as I thought of words witty
recognized Uncles and Aunts who had now grown old
though the temps reached 100 my body froze cold.
we exchanged hugs and kisses then escorted to our bench
waiting for sweet music and entrance of wicked wench
she wore a red suit with her flaming red hair
with white shoes, blouse and hat looked like Santa Claus affair.
the groom, short and bald, wore a green laurel wreath
to cover his head with red tie underneath
his bermuda shorts were all plaid and too big
where oh where was the champagne, I needed a swig.
instead of gold rings they had tattooed pop art
with matching leg logos "till death do us part"
I was laughing so loud I thought I would die
waved a speedy hello and a hasty goodbye.
now what does one say to a couple's freak show?
no words came to mind that seemed quite apropos
I just gave them my business card once they were sober
as a wedding gift come see me for a duo cousin makeover.
*For Joann Grisetti's My Cousin's Wedding Contest.