I was reading in the papers,
of worldly problems that there are!
The one I'm most concerned about,
is the most critical, by far!
There's unemployment, crime, and politics,
just to name a few!
A lot of major problems,
a lot of stuff to do!
But, we face a real dilemma,
I learned from "Dear, Heloise"!
It ain't a threat to our survival,
like from flooding or disease!
It must be real important,
that would be my guess!
Because "Heloise" is real selective,
on what she sends to Press!
It's, How should Toilet Tissue be hung?
That's our biggest problem of all!
Should it flow, like a waterfall, over the front,
or come down the back, against the wall?