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CHANGING AN ERROR

nette onclaud Avatar nette onclaud - Premium MemberPremium Member Send Soup Mail Go to Poets Blog Block poet from commenting on your poetry

Below is the poem entitled CHANGING AN ERROR which was written by poet nette onclaud. Please feel free to comment on this poem. However, please remember, PoetrySoup is a place of encouragement and growth.

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CHANGING AN ERROR



I watch him mumble, lines of treble notes
Bones flinging on park so emerald clean
The old man droops, his shape a curving moat
Weary the shirt that covers marks unseen
Throwing bread crumbs to hide a balmy scene.
My eyes attack this figure‘s shade, rumpled
On dusky night when glows of moon cancel
Lost frolic, changing beam into a smirk
Raised temper glares at how his body leers,
Craning dry neck, I question stranger’s quirk.

For while he pined, cold hands in light remain
Through fallen wind and chill that rip them down
Stammering, pale voice rasps if his dog has lain
Upon the range to scout for food around
Eyelashes blink, my tears fall to the ground.
Blind is he searching for pet in depth of moans
I lift his arms, with gentle nudges intoned
“ Let me bring you to your own gate, dear Sir
Till your companion finds it way back home,”
He glides a smile, taming my heart’s error.

(c)


by nette onclaud
Do You Understand Contest of Cyn Mac Millan 






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  1. Date: 8/5/2012 2:10:00 PM

    So nice, congratulations on the win of your poem. Lee

  1. Date: 8/2/2012 6:19:00 PM

    Hard to tell who's who here? Congrad's on your win. Light & Love

  1. Date: 8/2/2012 4:41:00 PM

    How nicely done Nette. Congratulations on a great win. Love, Joyce

  1. Date: 8/2/2012 11:33:00 AM

    Congrats, Nette Dear. This piece was filled with all that poetry can and should be. When you can, stop by and read my blog. ARGH, that you can't comment on blogs (wacky soup) Hope you enjoyed the challenge. I enjoyed the read, so very much! Hugs, Cyndi

  1. Date: 8/2/2012 8:07:00 AM

    congrats Nette luv on a marvelous write and win so special for this intensely creative piece.. top notch luv..

  1. Date: 8/2/2012 5:24:00 AM

    Congratulations on your 2nd place win in Cyndi's 'You Do Understand" contest Nette. Love, Carol

  1. Date: 8/2/2012 12:49:00 AM

    very nice touching tale...a masterpiece of pathos......me liked it.....and you just managed to squeak above me THIS time = 0.4 cm....I'm breathing down your neck Young N...watch out.....best wishes KC :-)

  1. Date: 8/1/2012 11:53:00 PM

    Nette,, congratulations with your wonderful win in Cyndi's contest... xox~PD

  1. Date: 8/1/2012 11:50:00 PM

    Congratulations on your win. Love, Suzette

  1. Date: 7/23/2012 3:26:00 PM

    So tamed with a smile! Your web of words amazes me once again, Nette...It's always a pleasure to read and learn from such talent!

  1. Date: 7/22/2012 7:16:00 AM

    another rare beauty Nette luv.. exquisite words linking the lines of expression .. u write so freely and easily of heart luv..

  1. Date: 7/21/2012 10:25:00 PM

    Beautiful write Nette, enjoyed, Love vie

  1. Date: 7/21/2012 8:04:00 PM

    Excellent write here Nette!I think this is for Cyndi's contest.Enjoyed the read very much!

  1. Date: 7/21/2012 2:01:00 PM

    Very nice, loved your feeling. Thanks for sharing. Always bl

  1. Date: 7/21/2012 1:48:00 PM

    Very well done....you have a special nature when it comes to art and written poetry Nette....always !!! - oxox huggs Anne-Lise

  1. Date: 7/21/2012 1:38:00 PM

    Interesting work..Enjoyed reading this afternoon..Thanks for stopping by..I don't know if one can make a shape poem and copy and paste or not...Sometimes this site doesn't want to coorperate with things staying where one puts them when it is put in on the site..I find placing a period in the upper left hand corner helps things stay in place better..Reads like this gentleman need a friendly helper..Sara

  1. Date: 7/21/2012 1:09:00 PM

    What a magnificent and creative junction you have here my friend! You can make the greatest poetry that I've ever seen on any one persons mind! You portray it so flawlessly and seemingly effortlessly on the screen! From your heart to the page it transpires with superior wisdom and insight! This write carries an omen of good fortune within it, a lovely desire! Great Work!!

  1. Date: 7/21/2012 10:40:00 AM

    You write my head around with this magnificent write,dear Nette:) Yes,up and running after too much vacation over here;) Hugs,Arild

  1. Date: 7/21/2012 10:25:00 AM

    Awesome write, Nette. Thanks very much - loved your contest : )

  1. Date: 7/21/2012 8:15:00 AM

    Really good my dear Nette!! Poetry with amazing images....hugs n Luv Michael