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About This Poem

Facedown

.






                                                facedown on the floor
                                                the broken porcelain's moon —
                                                for Shinto's sake






Sponsor: Joe Maverick
Contest Name: Haiku challenge.

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  1. Guzzi Avatar
    Debbie Guzzi
    Date: 11/28/2012 1:48:00 PM
    Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    Hey Rueben..re:remnants in my haiku please do suggest a re-write mean while I will continue the lesson with an explaination of your comment ;) ..make the suggestion under my write & [what was this poem about???] Light & Love
  1. Guzzi Avatar
    Debbie Guzzi
    Date: 11/23/2012 4:15:00 PM
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    well I'll bow to Chris but, I'm not sure what I see here, a broken saki vase? a shinto priest with his pants down? [I know I know I would see that wouldn't I LOL] I have to go read what naughty Chas put as winner..I entered to LOSE with a fake ku, what I'd call free verse..go look at it now. Light & Love
  1. Aechtner Avatar
    Chris D. Aechtner
    Date: 11/16/2012 11:36:00 AM
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    *cont'd* -- Many strict modern writers speak-out against the 'one flowing sentence concept', when in fact they have missed the point that all of the Fab Four masters did it. When translating the haiku rules into a Western format, it appears that only the severe cut, wide-juxt style was focused on, when in fact, this was only one style in a poet's portfolio. You penned a superb haiku here :D
  1. Aechtner Avatar
    Chris D. Aechtner
    Date: 11/16/2012 11:33:00 AM
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    *cont'd* -- you have a fine example here of wot I consider not to be the boring type of cloned haiku being written on the Soup. Your juxt isn't too wide, the theme reminds me a little of Issa's introspective haiku after he became bored with writing severe cuts and juxt. My inner reading 'voice' can easily negate the punctuated cut after line two, and read this with such a soft cut that it is really one flowing sentence.
  1. Aechtner Avatar
    Chris D. Aechtner
    Date: 11/16/2012 11:27:00 AM
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    Hullo, Ruben. Dun worry, I am not offended by your comments on my recent haiku. Except for the "Tokyo, Spring 1945" haiku, I am not posting my ultimate personal favs that I have written lately. I am purposefully posting those haiku, fully realizing how the 'strict American' haiku writers will have something to say. I encourage any input. How many 'objective sensory input/add the kigo/add the cut/add a wide juxt-haiku' can one write before becoming stifled and bored?
  1. A Avatar
    Poet Destroyer A
    Date: 9/2/2012 4:52:00 PM
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    Hi Ruben, look at your comment on my comment box.. you called me Sylvia ,,, hummm... oh! well..... stopping by to say thank you for the dare... It was very nice.. Now, i'm wondering who your next dare will be... xox~pd
  1. Brown Avatar
    Carol Sunshine Brown
    Date: 8/10/2012 5:22:00 AM
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    Congratulations on your win in Joe's "Haiku Challenge" contest Ruben. Love, Carol
  1. Dietrich Avatar
    Andrea Dietrich
    Date: 8/6/2012 2:48:00 PM
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    Hey big congratulations. This kind of challenge was right up your alley!
  1. onclaud Avatar
    nette onclaud
    Date: 8/6/2012 12:31:00 AM
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    awesome write, ruben.. congrats on your well deserved win!..:) huggs
  1. Johnson-Saunders Avatar
    Rhonda Johnson-Saunders
    Date: 8/5/2012 2:13:00 PM
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    An excellent write, Ruben! Congrats on your wonderful win! Love and Blessings, Rhonda
  1. Ramage Avatar
    Lee Ramage
    Date: 8/5/2012 12:19:00 PM
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    congrats on your win. Lee
  1. Williams Avatar
    David Williams
    Date: 8/5/2012 11:45:00 AM
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    Ruben congrats on your win, love it...David
  1. Henderson Avatar
    Charles Henderson
    Date: 6/7/2012 12:24:00 AM
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    EXCELLANT Ruben !!!! what more can i say. Fav
  1. Dietrich Avatar
    Andrea Dietrich
    Date: 6/4/2012 7:41:00 PM
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    Ruben. I think R is true of me too. And it's my middle initial! do you agree with your letter?

    Dietrich Avatar Andrea Dietrich Date: 6/4/2012 7:45:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    ok, I see you agree very much!!!!
  1. A Avatar
    Poet Destroyer A
    Date: 6/4/2012 7:28:00 PM
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    Hi Ruben O.I think you did great ,,Today I'm reading poems from my aunt PD's account, hope you don't mind. Sincerely pd's niece SYLVIA }i{

    O. Avatar Ruben O. Date: 6/4/2012 7:38:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    Thank you so much for the honor, Sylvia!
  1. Neels Avatar
    Wilma Neels
    Date: 6/3/2012 9:52:00 AM
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    Hey there Ruben, you are hilarious you know that.. You got me laughing with your comment.. Really love your wit, getting back to your Haiku, not sure if Joe has judged it yet, wanted to wish you all the best with this gem ;) love Wilma
  1. Marcum Wong Avatar
    Connie Marcum Wong
    Date: 6/2/2012 3:02:00 AM
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    Whooo! Excellent haiku Ruben. Very original, like you are.
  1. Chircop Avatar
    Charmaine Chircop
    Date: 5/28/2012 12:14:00 AM
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    A great haiku Ruben.. Very original indeed... I can see the broken porcelain's moon image... Charma
  1. Kendrick Avatar
    Sara Kendrick
    Date: 5/27/2012 2:27:00 PM
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    Great one...Your Sake should be in first place..I know that moon should be bringing you enlightenment...Thanks for stopping by my blog..Check out my contest read the rules very carefully and come up with a poem for me..I am feeling better today..Sara
  1. Goff Avatar
    James Marshall Goff
    Date: 5/26/2012 10:57:00 PM
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    Cool! Jimbo
  1. temple Avatar
    tristen temple
    Date: 5/26/2012 11:46:00 AM
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    ... My first impression as viewing your precious heart's poems title was that of a king sized waterbed ... Tis been a hard days night *.* A little oil please ... Hahaha, trying to bring joy at every possible turn; beyound, the world outside our window ... Love, tristen :)
  1. Aul Avatar
    George Aul
    Date: 5/26/2012 9:54:00 AM
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    Good luck in the contest............. George
  1. Andresen Avatar
    Anne Lise Andresen
    Date: 5/25/2012 3:27:00 PM
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    Very nice Haiku Ruben, wish you luck in contest. - oxox hugs Anne-Lise
  1. poet Avatar
    kash poet
    Date: 5/25/2012 2:22:00 PM
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    An interesting take on the contest theme Ruben.Best wishes to you.
  1. onclaud Avatar
    nette onclaud
    Date: 5/25/2012 5:21:00 AM
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    you got it, ruben... spot opn!..:) huggs and win it!
  1. Chinaski domo-MR.ROBOTO Avatar
    JSLambert Chinaski domo-MR.ROBOTO
    Date: 5/25/2012 4:32:00 AM
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    i JUST sUPPoSe THAT you Killed this Juxtaposition! One Love. Props on a smooth ink!
  1. Dietrich Avatar
    Andrea Dietrich
    Date: 5/24/2012 4:01:00 PM
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    Yes, it's very mysterious. I guess that is what he was looking for, right? I didn't understand how to do this contest. I hope you did it right because i really like this.
  1. THe DrUnKeN POeT Avatar
    Elliott Bowe THe DrUnKeN POeT
    Date: 5/24/2012 2:03:00 PM
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    Superb poem,winning wishes!!!
  1. Richards Avatar
    Carrie Richards
    Date: 5/24/2012 11:44:00 AM
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    he'll love it..... love the great twist of words in the last line, brilliant!
  1. Grisetti Avatar
    Joann Grisetti
    Date: 5/24/2012 9:52:00 AM
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    Very deep. Is the last line 'sake' meaning benefit or 'sake' the rice wine. I also like your new photo.

    O. Avatar Ruben O. Date: 5/24/2012 11:54:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    This is "my" easy way to create a yuxtaposition. I hope it works! : )
    O. Avatar Ruben O. Date: 5/24/2012 10:42:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    Both! : ) It's a haiku!
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