I feel a heavy weight go down, down, down, down, deep down in my chest,
Like an elevator descending rapidly down a deep dark abyss, and fear crashing in from all sides with all the weight of an ocean breaking loose closing from all sides, the loneliness stings like a nest of desert scorpions, and the desperation consumes me like the venom of a cobra annihilating me a living cell at a time,
They tell me “a will, will find a way”, religions tell me “hold the hand and it will lead thee unto the light ”But there is no pot to whip up will from, and I see no shining being`s hand,
I see no end in sight to this journey through the wasteland.
Could it end in a different way? Logic says Nope,
Yet I harbor a secret hope,
This was not my decision my call, this birth, I did not vote to live,
I am tired of all this negativity and some things got to give.
Books say, the body is temporary, so is the pain salvation is the ultimate goal,
All empty words with no solace and I am yet to see my soul.
What good is a salvation unknown when today passes in pain, what good is the miracle if the thirsty pilgrim dies and then it comes down to rain?
Reach out in the dark and you may feel me somewhere,
Wandering, wondering, dreaming, pondering,
Like a man on an endless plain chased by a pride of lions looking out for a tree,
Let the weight fall down, let the ocean drown, let the scorpion`s sting, and let the poison do its thing.
I don’t care, in the end I just want to be free,
No happiness, no sadness, no pain, nothing and into nothingness..
I wish to where it all began,
On the edge of the death land, beyond. Always beyond.