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A Beach Lagoon

Jared Pickett Avatar Jared Pickett - Premium MemberPremium Member Send Soup Mail Go to Poets Blog Block poet from commenting on your poetry

Below is the poem entitled A Beach Lagoon which was written by poet Jared Pickett. Please feel free to comment on this poem. However, please remember, PoetrySoup is a place of encouragement and growth.

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A Beach Lagoon

MONOTETRA: Each stanza contains four 
lines in monorhyme. Each line is in 
tetrameter for a total of eight syllables. 
What makes the Monotetra so powerful as 
a poetic form is that the last line contains 
two metric feet, repeated. 
STRUCTURE: 
Line 1: 8 syllables; A1
Line 2: 8 syllables; A2
Line 3: 8 syllables; A3
Line 4: 4 syllables, repeated, A4, A4



A Beach Lagoon

Gorgeous day, it's mid afternoon
Bored, looking for something to do!
Oh, I was just invited to
A beach lagoon, a beach lagoon

Crystal blue waters, ease my mind
Unleashing my creative side
Poetic versus organized
Time to unwind, time to unwind

White sand like silk between my toes
Makes me want to rip off my clothes 
Keep on my mesh shorts I suppose
I stand in pose, I stand in pose

Many shells like the angel wing
Skipping the waves, flat rocks I sling
Sun tan is beginning to spring
The pain it brings, the pain it brings 

Intoxicating scenery
Secluded from society
Just me, myself and poetry
Feeling set free, feeling set free

Sun starts to fade, the moon appears
Just about bringing me to tears
This day has quickly disappeared
Now in my rear, now in my rear!


Jared Pickett
4/19/2012

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  1. Date: 4/27/2012 9:36:00 AM

    will let u know Jared luv where I land for my next step in writing .. a long long story on PS ..four years worth of cocky Admins. replies to my pleas for various help.. so enough was enough.. their loss luv.. is your e mail still the same as I have it..?? will send u details there luv..see ya soon..

  1. Date: 4/22/2012 12:57:00 AM

    white sand like silk between my toes.... many shells like the angel wing...So many beautiful verses entwined in this very creative form Jared.. One for my favs.. Charma

  1. Date: 4/21/2012 9:01:00 PM

    this is very entertaining. I think the form looks like great fun to try. You should do another contest, my friend. I sure love a beach lagoon. Maybe the one bringing pain is sun BURN not tan. Today I laid out two hours and got a small burn on my face but it will tan up fast!

  1. Date: 4/21/2012 12:51:00 PM

    Very nice poem,I enjoyed this much..

  1. Date: 4/21/2012 10:40:00 AM

    Thanks for the nice comments bro and for the encouragement...I appreciate it...Marty

  1. Date: 4/21/2012 2:44:00 AM

    Excellent,enjoyed your poem! xoxo - Laila

  1. Date: 4/20/2012 1:43:00 PM

    The form is worthy of great lyrical possibilities, in this poem's case one seeks the perfect rhyme, a song must flow like a river even if there is a bend, the song in bending sings. Great write, Jared ... mail me details of its inspired origin. Then the conversation begins. One love

  1. Date: 4/20/2012 1:08:00 PM

    Okay Jared bro...check it out and tell me if it passes and give me constructive criticism!! Called Dreaming of Legos!!! Thanks...Marty

  1. Date: 4/20/2012 10:12:00 AM

    This is amazing.I love the form and your poem.Being a non native english speaker I find it tough to write those forms which reqd use of Stress and unstress syll.as I cannot recognise them.Thanks for reading my poem.

  1. Date: 4/20/2012 7:36:00 AM

    Hi Jared, I can tell from your 5th stanza that you've been missing writing and in 6th stanza your time of freedom ended too soon sorry about that!!...I love this form...Do you mind if I try it? Thanks for the nice comments and indeed Linda-Marie is a wonderful beautiful poetess...Marty

    Pickett Avatar Jared Pickett Date: 4/20/2012 7:50:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    Please write one!! When you do let me know so that IO can read it!!..:JP}
  1. Date: 4/19/2012 1:43:00 PM

    The sun is shining bright here this afternoon in Ohio and I am enjoying reading some very interesting and outstanding writing. So happy to see yours among the ones I am able to read this fine day before I get busy. Have a wonderful day and thank you so much for sharing your poetry with us Jared. Love, Carol