What a feeling it is to have acted beyond the confines of reason. Genuss ist es die grenzen des sozial akzeptablen zu ueberschreiten. To have killed oneself, if only for one night, with the fats of the industrial slurry. To have neglected deadlines, to have spent the evening googling your name, facebook stalking your ex. To have ignored the self-set taboos. To have broken from discipline for just one night. To act, and to know that in the morning, self-hatred will flood your veins. To close the word document and open an ephemeral distraction. To understand that you missed the step up to success on purpose. In favour of a life spent on your back, wondering what things would be like if you had. To make the unwise decision, and know that you are making it as it happens. To decline the American dream. To embrace mediocrity. To cry before yet another day of mind erodingly boring work. And to know that this is it. That this is what you chose. To realise… that even if you hadn’t done all these stupid things, you would still be here, making less than you want!