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Granny Panty Annie, the Tranny

JSLambert Mister ROBOTO Avatar  Send Soup Mail  Block poet from commenting on your poetry

Below is the poem entitled Granny Panty Annie, the Tranny which was written by poet JSLambert Mister ROBOTO. Please feel free to comment on this poem. However, please remember, PoetrySoup is a place of encouragement and growth.

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Granny Panty Annie, the Tranny

Lemme tell ya' about a
*ding-bat skit-zo 
bee-hotch* tranny
named Annie...

I met her one night 
under disco lights 
up at Candies

She was 
starin' at me
grittin' her teeth
aimin' ta' see 
if I wanted a piece
of he 
OR
of she 
by way of flashin' granny panties

She was
shootin' pool
actin' a fool
so I 
took a shot
and one tiny glance 
but got caught

So I
lit up a smoke
and tried to play it off cool
but it was too late
she had pulled up a stool

She slurred,
"Hey young felluh, where ya' been all my life!"

I replied, 
"Sorry to burst yir' bubble, but I got a wife!"

"That don't matter kid, what she don't know won't hurt the girl" 
as she fisted my collar and yelled, "I'LL ROCK YIR' WORLD! Annie the Tranny is what they call me. Bet you been wanted ta' bone me since you first saw me!"

Fear and frustration danced on my face
I begged the bouncer to 
"Get this he/she outta the place!"

My pleas were to no avail, 
and that sea donkey lurked hot on my trail
flailin' it's arms and grindin' bar stools with it's tail

Speakin' of tails...
a shiny blue wale tail crept up her back
Her jeans were mean, but couldn't hold her underwear's elastic slack
but at least it beat feastin' eyes upon her crack
then she... 
wrapped her grimy hands around my neck and asked, 
"You n' me, boy, what the heck!?!"

I screamed,
"Look here lady, you seem real nice for a tranny;
but...
ya' see...
ya' need 
to hit the bricks,
you
and yir' Granny Panties!"

At that point the joint started to really heat up
people were glarin' like they really wanted me beat up
I can't recall how the hell I got out of there 
alive and free
it was like a big manly freight train
headin' dead at me

I'm pretty sure I owe the good Lord a big favor
that beast was the devil
and Jesus was my Savior!

It's a night I thought would never end... 
the night at Candies Bar n' Grill
Granny Panty Annie got a thrill 
tryin' to make me her sexy friend!!!



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  1. Date: 10/18/2013 12:05:00 AM
    This is about the funniest/best thing I have ever read! Awesome fun write! Looooooved it!

  1. Date: 3/23/2013 9:31:00 AM
    beautiful poem, well written. In such a windy and snowy day, reading this piece just completes my relaxation. What a poem!

  1. Date: 4/4/2012 9:03:00 AM
    Bwahahahaha! Whoa! Is this a real experience, or were you smokin' some schnazzy-jazzy while writing this? HIGHlarious! This is entertainment. Hey, why are you smokin' a Fag? Don't you know, that fags are dangerous to smoke? Oh! By "Fag", I am talkin' 'bout a ciggy. Hey, I am as open-minded as they come. Each to their own. But if you got a package where there shouldn't be one, or vice versa, be a he/she 'bout it and tell it like it is from the get-go. Dun want any surprises springing out! Aaacck!

  1. Date: 4/3/2012 9:29:00 PM
    BTW, I just read your "missing" comment to me. You don't read the blogs? I told everyone that my grandson was born and also two days before that I was too busy with hubbie home after his having driven for a full week. It gets really hard to keep up here when I try to pamper hubbie on his time home. I got really behind. I'm halfway to catching up right now. Can ya tell?

  1. Date: 4/3/2012 7:19:00 PM
    Lmao..... another hit... this is some funny ishh.... Good One... gotta add to my favs

  1. Date: 4/3/2012 12:36:00 AM
    Well, you just got me hooked with this granny panty funny write! Haha what a riot this is :D Super duper enjoyed this story-- major whew for you for escaping the clutches of Annie the tranny--keep on churning out these captivating writes of yours, okidoki?? Btw, heehee I rarely ask people to read my poems, but I remember how you said before you enjoyed word play-- I sure would love your thoughts on my Fig Meant at Ion's when you have the time-- thank you :)! Enjoy your week :D!

  1. Date: 4/1/2012 8:19:00 AM
    JS, you are an excellent story teller and funny too, I so enjoyed this poem, well done and thanks for all your great comments on my poetry and your encouragement.

  1. Date: 4/1/2012 8:08:00 AM
    Lmao!! Excellent story..funny

  1. Date: 3/31/2012 3:52:00 PM
    That is the funnies thing I've ever read Joey! This is great, especially the lines, "ya' see... ya' need to hit the bricks, you and yir' Granny Panties!" Oh how funny! You did very well with this excellent write my friend! I love this poem Joey! Awesome Work!!

  1. Date: 3/31/2012 12:44:00 PM
    bet u will avoid Candies from now on JS.. what a tale of horror in a fun write luv.. I am still laghing my panties off.. oh.. wait.. don't wear them..oh .. even better.. this title is awesome and u are a pip.. to share this creation has made me flip luv.. so enjoyed and my hubby is rolling on the floor..

  1. Date: 3/31/2012 12:15:00 PM
    what a gas, JL... you are a greeat story teller with clever phrasing of vivid, crisp "granny"images... terrific write..:) huggs!

  1. Date: 3/31/2012 11:17:00 AM
    hahaha, that would be quite the sight to see you with her. I loved that part about sea donkey. Never heard THAT one before. YEs, it's a bit like my limerick. Good stuff to make a laugh!!

  1. Date: 3/31/2012 5:16:00 AM
    I laughed so hard got a puddle on the floor now look what you've done my little chocolate chip, loved it J, I could just picture it, by the way who is that cutie patoutie in the red hat, is that you? lol vie

  1. Date: 3/31/2012 4:02:00 AM
    hehe I've got tears streaming from laughing so much..thats is the funniest thing I've read in ages :D Thanks for the giggle.. Hugs xxx