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Earth Hour 2012

Chris D. Aechtner Avatar Chris D. Aechtner - Premium MemberPremium Member Send Soup Mail Go to Poets Blog Block poet from commenting on your poetry

Below is the poem entitled Earth Hour 2012 which was written by poet Chris D. Aechtner. Please feel free to comment on this poem. However, please remember, PoetrySoup is a place of encouragement and growth.

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Earth Hour 2012

Trying to do my part for Earth Hour 2012,
by consuming less electricity.
Now, I realize the hypocrisy
surrounding such an endeavor,
but I can at least try
by adding a drop into the rusty, broken bucket.

Prior to shutting off the lights,
I didn't do the intelligent thing
of relieving myself,
nor did I remember having melted all of the candles the night before,
in a ritualistic attempt at summoning Vomiticus Grammaticus.
The flashlights are dead,
no batteries to be found,
and clouds have draped over the moon.

Finally making it to the loo
with only a few bruises to show for,
I am halfway through my release,
when a turtle begins peeking out from between my cheeks.
This starts a chain reaction of muscular clenching,
which causes me to piss all over myself
as I maneuver to extract the sneaky turtle with a loud splash.
Aside from using less electricity,
I also vowed not to use excessive amounts of water,
so I simply wipe soiled hands through my hair,
drop skivvies and britches to the floor,
and make my way outside, into the crisp, night air.

A breeze blows upon my *ding-a-ling,
filling me with contentment, causing me to sing.
Before I know it,
the neighbourhood dogs are all braying along,
and the Earth Hour has turned into a full night.

The moon breaks free from cloudy clutches,
basking us in its newly found freedom and light.
Together we howl up at the moon,
take turns sniffing bottoms,
and joyfully piss on the fence.



*the bell on my tricycle




If you can, please turn off your lights for an hour 
on Earth Hour 2012, March 31, 8:30pm. Thank You! 

Aside from my usual exploits of tree-hugging,
I can only try even harder in reducing my carbon footprint
by using less electricity, water, disposable items,
recycling anything and everything possible,
and also by continuing to plant more trees.
I urge people to go far beyond just a single Earth Hour,
turning words into actions, and an expanding awareness
towards a greener, more environmentally sustainable lifestyle.

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  1. Date: 5/11/2012 2:42:00 PM

    Congrats on your win..Sara

  1. Date: 5/11/2012 11:12:00 AM

    Your sense of humor is amazing. Keep writing, and don't change.

  1. Date: 5/11/2012 8:58:00 AM

    wow! u have a way with words and a gr8 sense of humor... congrats on the contest placement ......~sashi

  1. Date: 5/11/2012 6:50:00 AM

    Congratulations on your placement in Nikko's "Beyond Earth" contest Chris. Love, Carol

  1. Date: 5/11/2012 5:28:00 AM

    Congratulations on your Earth Hour win Chris xx

  1. Date: 5/11/2012 4:57:00 AM

    Hi there Chris! Just dropping by here again to say congrats and thank you for entering this funny yet mesmerizing piece! Happy howling at the moon :)

  1. Date: 5/11/2012 3:13:00 AM

    Chris, congrats on your win, remember this one well..David

  1. Date: 4/4/2012 11:12:00 PM

    This is a very fun narrative, Chris. Love that final line!!!

  1. Date: 3/31/2012 6:15:00 AM

    DAMN brother! You tree huggin hungry hungry Hippo-CRIT!!!! ha ! I love it. You take less shiTake than a stopped up commode! LOVE IT. I give it an 8! ha wait a seven!

  1. Date: 3/29/2012 5:16:00 PM

    Count me and my household IN!! ...LOve how Nikko's contest stemmed from this poem...How very Nikko-esque of her!! ha ha.

  1. Date: 3/28/2012 11:42:00 AM

    No fear, Chris - I am usually asleep by 8:30 anyway. And being 82 years old, I find it difficult to not piss all over myself at any time during the day. Enjoyed mucho. Love, daver

  1. Date: 3/27/2012 8:53:00 AM

    OMG you actually are getting desparte for inspiration..LOL..geez Chris you know you could always drive to Connecticut and see me? What an adventure a long drive is!! Please would you read Spring comings and let me know what you think...I think perhaps I was not hmmmmm tricky? enough to get this one by 'them' LOL [shoosh you are not the only naughty one here!] Light & love

  1. Date: 3/27/2012 3:50:00 AM

    so,...off to the dime store I go to purchase MORE and MORE batteries that will fill the earth with more toxic waste...you can't win for losing, right?...Interesting tho't processes here, Chris...I will turn off my lights for several hours AND put that old bell back on my bicycle too! :) :) Gwendolen

  1. Date: 3/26/2012 3:30:00 PM

    Huh. You have a knack for humor, I see. Anyways, just dropped by to say that your comment on my poem Kamikaze made my day when I first saw it. So thanks for that. :D

  1. Date: 3/26/2012 1:29:00 PM

    Omw, you just illustrated what not to do in the dark Chris, now I am sure there are a hundred and one things you could COME up with that would not be such a catastrophe :D something to work towards as Saturday approaches, what do you say??? lmao

  1. Date: 3/25/2012 4:13:00 PM

    OMG! Laughing so much I nearly .... ...... oh well! :) ............!!!!! And yes, some very valid issues raised between your lines here...

  1. Date: 3/25/2012 8:32:00 AM

    Oh my god im laughing so hard..i think something popped inside :D... You know Christopher theres this thing thats been invented...provides light and usually only takes a couple of batteries.. Ill post you one haha!... Watch out for shrinkage of *the bell on your tricycle on such breezy nights :D lol........Oh yeah one last thing..where was Vomiticus Grammaticus last week...hey hey!.. ;) xxx

  1. Date: 3/25/2012 12:44:00 AM

    Well, it made a liar out of me that time.

  1. Date: 3/25/2012 12:43:00 AM

    I don't know what it is about this particular poem. The comment I write in the block goes on OK but my writing doesn't leave this block after it posts?????

  1. Date: 3/25/2012 12:35:00 AM

    When I said my wife got to the turtle and had to quit, I meant reading out loud. Because she was laughing so hard she couldn't talk.

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