Submit Your Poems
Get Your Premium Membership


See and share Beautiful Nature Photos and amazing photos of interesting places

Quote of the Day

Quote Left"The harder you work, the luckier you get."Quote Right

by Gary Player

  |  Comment

Castaway

Ruben O. Avatar Ruben O. - LIFETIME Premium Member Ruben O. - Premium MemberPremium Member Send Soup Mail Go to Poets Blog Block poet from commenting on your poetry

Below is the poem entitled Castaway which was written by poet Ruben O.. Please feel free to comment on this poem. However, please remember, PoetrySoup is a place of encouragement and growth.

Read Poems by Ruben O.

Best Ruben O. Poems

+ Fav Poet

Castaway

.          A Sequence of Haiku (or Choka?)




            castaway                                               
            on empty beach —
            a conch shell


            full moon
            through palms —
            vertical blinds

                                                
            
            umbrella —                                              
            over my shadow                             
            a cloud on the sand                                


                                                       





Just in case (or footnote):
The whooshing sound inside the shell is not generated either by the echo of your blood rushing through the blood vessels of your ear or the air flowing through the shell; its sound is produced  by ambient noise from around you that resonates inside the shell.



.

Post Comments

Please Login to post a comment
  1. Date: 7/1/2012 6:42:00 PM
    My favorite scenario.

  1. Date: 6/4/2012 12:28:00 PM
    Very descriptive and expressive about a day at the beach..Enjoyed reading this afternoon..Reminds me of the R&R that the beach brings...Thanks for stopping by..Sara

  1. Date: 4/19/2012 11:00:00 AM
    Stopping by to say Thank You for your kind comments on my poetry Ruben. It is a pleasure to read your writings. Have a wonderful day. Love, Carol

  1. Date: 4/1/2012 9:06:00 AM
    ha ha ha Ruben, you are funny...and yes april fools....but, don't spoil it so far... lol... pd

  1. Date: 3/28/2012 5:05:00 PM
    Sooo beautiful...i like very much...stir the emotions your work does :) well done,bighuggsss,love~deb

  1. Date: 3/23/2012 6:06:00 AM
    While stopping by to read your wonderful poetry I want to say thank you for the kind comments you have left on mine. I hope you have a beautiful weekend and find it full of inspiration Ruben. Love, Carol

  1. Date: 3/15/2012 10:19:00 AM
    Thanks for explaining .I always thought that the whooshing sound inside the shell was made the air flowing in the shell..So thanks for the explanation :) My favourite is the second haiku ... lovely..awesome... Charma

  1. Date: 3/14/2012 8:55:00 PM
    These are great, Ruben-san, and I am not trying to kiss your ass. I haven't been writing haiku lately(well, one in 3 months or something close to that?), and these are a splendid fusion between classic and modern haiku. They aren't as dry and boring as some of the haiku that stick to too many rules. Very refreshing to see. If haiku sticks to many rules, but is boring to read, I am not too impressed. Honestly, I see these as being a shift in your experimentation with the form.

  1. Date: 3/14/2012 5:43:00 AM
    hmmm ;) I think they're fine Mr Oh! a couple of thoughts would be verse 1 [as you too must have felt or you would not have added the footnote-perhaps mute is not needed? the first 2 lines read to me as a person..so when you say mute in line 3 the image feels 'personificationie?' and perhaps too obviuos..for shells don't talk?] LOVE #2 no suggestions #3 using shadow twice bothers me a bit..Light & Love

    O. Avatar Ruben O.
    Date: 3/14/2012 9:34:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry


    Thank you so much, Deborah!
  1. Date: 3/14/2012 12:53:00 AM
    Lovely sequence, Ruben. I love the nocturnal cloud...a brest visual. Best wishes in the contest. Rhonda

  1. Date: 3/13/2012 11:44:00 PM
    I LOVE the middle one. So lovely. The other two are great too. On the first one, maybe you mean "on" empty beach. Anyway, I love that visual of the mute shell on the empty beach and its being a castaway. Thanks for the footnote!

    O. Avatar Ruben O.
    Date: 3/14/2012 12:03:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry


    Thanks, Andrea...I mean "ON" empty beach! : ) Me make mistake! : )