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Another Old Haiku

Leo Larry Amadore Avatar Leo Larry Amadore - Premium MemberPremium Member Send Soup Mail  Block poet from commenting on your poetry

Below is the poem entitled Another Old Haiku which was written by poet Leo Larry Amadore. Please feel free to comment on this poem. However, please remember, PoetrySoup is a place of encouragement and growth.

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Another Old Haiku

Night's blackness obscures
our very limited view.
Does dawn surprise us?

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  1. Date: 2/18/2012 10:14:00 AM
    I know very little about Haiku (about most things in fact) but I think that an obscured, limited view could make one see nothing at all...I like to read Haiku upside-down and all around...It gives a new perspective...Yes dawn can surprise and blackness can obscure...I enjoyed reading very much and I'm glad to see so many "new' ones.

  1. Date: 2/18/2012 12:25:00 AM
    An interesting haiku. Give the reader words to make one think. Take care, Jancarl I understand it all.

  1. Date: 2/17/2012 9:39:00 PM
    Lines one and two are very nice but drop the caps and punc. You actually have a double negative I just notice i lines 1 and 2. If you obscure a limited view you would actually make the view better. Just a thought. You may like to reword. I like the premis. Line three is intellectualizing, when you should be describing what the dawn IS doing. Or rather what is happening as dawn approaches.

  1. Date: 2/17/2012 6:15:00 PM
    Very great work that I enjoyed reading..Yes, dawn does surprise me sometimes....Creative idea..Your presence at my work was uplifting..Sara