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THE CONFESSIONS OF THE WORLD'S WORST HOUSEWIFE

Cyndi MacMillan Avatar Cyndi MacMillan - Premium MemberPremium Member Send Soup Mail Go to Poets Blog Block poet from commenting on your poetry

Below is the poem entitled THE CONFESSIONS OF THE WORLD'S WORST HOUSEWIFE which was written by poet Cyndi MacMillan. Please feel free to comment on this poem. However, please remember, PoetrySoup is a place of encouragement and growth.

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THE CONFESSIONS OF THE WORLD'S WORST HOUSEWIFE

I’m the world’s worst housewife, this I’m confessing The state of this place is more than depressing When I try to tidy I just add to the cess pool of messing If you did a white glove test, a foot of grime you’d be caressing Visitors gasp, drop their jaws and then their gag reflexes require suppressing No, really, it’s so bad that our parish priest refused to do a house blessing Even a snake in the grass with itchy, loose skin would fear undressing Every dish in my kitchen sink soaks in slimy misery, like it is convalescing Clutter increases and my teeny floor space continues regressing There is so much hair in the grey tub you could make a wig with clumps of tress-ing And my bathwater holds mysteries so deep that a Scot would say I am Loch Ness-ing Something in my fridge has been there for so long that its now phosphoresc-ing And that carton of milk? Ew, its contents need no second guessing My family stoops to avoid cobwebs so thick that each droop is oppressing The dust on shelves grows like the love for me that the fluff is now daily professing But that crud in the corner that is starting to smell? I admit, it needs addressing My looking glass is so crusty that all I can see is Alice and those queens a-chess-ing The laundry weighs so much that our concrete floor has started compressing But, frankly, my husband likes it that I’m wearing somewhat less and less-ing I’ve tried to ignore that bag over there, but it’s seeping puss and might be abscessing Once upon a time I answered phones, organized chaos and did word processing Now I’m mom to a girl who gets most of my attention and its she that I’m princess-ing Some of you may think I’m just idleless-ing But we spend most of our days playing, our affection expressing Her sweetness blossoms, though her temperament needs a wee bit of finessing Oh, but she’s cute and funny! How my darling, the world is impressing And at night when she’s asleep- instead of dusting- I prefer letter pressing Does it really matter that my home isn't a palace of some ancienne noblesse-ing? And in MHO an immaculate house is just silly window dressing So come on over, my friends, believe me, my place is in no way stressing In fact, laughter floats in my muddle like bubbles effervesce-ing We dance all day long with dust motes ~ my definition of joy and true success-ing.

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  1. Date: 11/30/2012 6:26:00 AM
    Congratulations on your placement in Francine's "Humor Me" contest Cyndi. Love, Carol

  1. Date: 11/19/2012 2:38:00 PM
    Cyndi,,, wow what a poem.. congratulations with your poem... always~ :-) PD

  1. Date: 11/19/2012 12:01:00 PM
    Only you Cyndi!!!! Well deserved!!!

  1. Date: 11/18/2012 11:07:00 AM
    Congratulations on the win... loved it.

  1. Date: 11/18/2012 10:22:00 AM
    wow, that's a LOT of monorhyming. I don't believe you are nearly as dirty as this whole thing is proFESSING. Good one I'd never have got to see had it not been for this list!! BIG congrats. This one reminded me of one I wrote ages ago called Confessions of a SLoth. it's never been posted here, and sadly, MINE is a true one!!

  1. Date: 11/18/2012 8:32:00 AM
    Hi you can borrow my husband for a while, he just loves to clean.. great write and congratulations on your win xx

  1. Date: 11/18/2012 7:45:00 AM
    Some one had a lotta fun writing this! ;) as I did reading it! Congrad's on your win. Light & Love

  1. Date: 11/18/2012 7:07:00 AM
    Supercali................docious :-) and sounds like that great place to be called "HOME" Congrats, Ellie Daphne

  1. Date: 11/18/2012 5:06:00 AM
    great, Cyndi so funny, sounds like a home not a house......Seren

  1. Date: 11/17/2012 10:56:00 PM
    Amusing piece, Cyndi! Very funny. A clever use of rhyme to create a delirious effect! Congratulations! Ruben.

  1. Date: 11/17/2012 10:27:00 PM
    congrats on your third place win in the contest Cyndi

  1. Date: 2/14/2012 5:57:00 AM
    Hi Cyndi-Absolutely fantastic!Love it.it's clever,great fun and so enjoyable to read.Your sense of humour coupled with an element of sweetness and truth are a joy.After all who wants to dust when you can enter the world of a child and play!Laughter is so important to me so please I would like this as a favourite and thank you so much for the pleasure you have given me by sharing it. Love June(Sylvia)

  1. Date: 2/13/2012 1:57:00 PM
    I can relate! I'd much rather be playing with my little guy than cleaning. I was a neat freak until my son was born but something has to give. Kids could care less about a clean house and mom's with OCD aren't a whole lot of fun. This ones going on my fave list!

  1. Date: 2/13/2012 1:35:00 PM
    An awesome poem my dear and sounds like your pretty amazing as a mother wife and the rest like you said it's window dressing, Sending you my love, keep sharing the joy you special mom and the world can wait, love always, vie

  1. Date: 2/13/2012 12:38:00 PM
    Absolutely superb! A lot of imagination went into this write. This is going into my list of favorites.

  1. Date: 2/13/2012 12:34:00 PM
    Oh too funny Cyndi..I"m not quite this bad but I"m not the greatest either!I like the part about dancing with your little one...love,Deb

  1. Date: 2/13/2012 11:09:00 AM
    Cyndi, this poem is both hilarious and filled with a bit o' wisdom for the obsessive compulsive type of clean freaks. I figure this is an exaggeration, but then again, when it comes to Soup addicts, one never knows! Ha! J/K.

  1. Date: 2/13/2012 10:55:00 AM
    Enjoyed the humour very much.Is it for Susan's contest?