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If Ever

binibining p.iNk Avatar  Send Soup Mail  Block poet from commenting on your poetry

Below is the poem entitled If Ever which was written by poet binibining p.iNk. Please feel free to comment on this poem. However, please remember, PoetrySoup is a place of encouragement and growth.

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If Ever


If ever pain shall strike my wounded soul,
my consolation is you are my cloak
Your calming presence mending any hole,
protecting me from chills it might invoke

If ever moon and tide shall be at war,
and convolutes my tattered, wrinkled mind
I’ll plunge it deep into your ocean floor
of soothing words, ‘til sweetest peace I find

If ever sun shall fall upon its death,
my only prayer is that you'll be with me
For light within your heart is like my breath,
and this will last me for eternity

I know that life shall cease for me one day
But love, ah love, forever it shall stay...





0202032012

--English sonnet; iambic pentameter :)

--nikko palmario :)

**thanks so much to Kash for the heads up on the syllables, and also to Jack for "it", and also to Sara and Carrie for your insights :)....it's looking better now, thank you!!

again many thanks as well for all who's passed by and left inspiring comments :D; Debbie, I nudged the comma & tweaked that other line and Andrea, thanks so much for the additional wonderful suggestions-- sorry I am a bit stubborn with some of the lines ;)

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  1. Date: 3/25/2014 7:19:00 PM

    Again I stop by perhaps my favorite soup sonnet ever---I've already faved it but!!

  1. Date: 5/17/2013 8:13:00 AM

    I think it's beautifully done, Nikko. :) And to your book question...only working on one book, but I'm still at a standstill.

  1. Date: 2/7/2012 8:14:00 AM

    Congratulations to you on your win in Debbie Guzzi 's "Change for the Meter" contest Nikko. Love, Carol

  1. Date: 2/6/2012 9:08:00 AM

    A true love penned sweetly of real lovely heart, my sweet friend. Congrats on your grand win in the contest, loved, bl

  1. Date: 2/6/2012 7:51:00 AM

    Congrats Nikko on your win in the contest.Loved it 1st time around.A beautiful sonnet.

  1. Date: 2/6/2012 1:25:00 AM

    nice win, thank you, Al

  1. Date: 2/5/2012 5:41:00 PM

    If ever..If ever there was a kind and loving heart its you, or a wee one in search of knowledge that's true! If ever there was a friend who is blue all they need do is speak..to you! Congrad's on all your hard work and perserverance birthing a beautiful sonnet!Light & Love

  1. Date: 2/5/2012 11:39:00 AM

    Lovely sonnet, Nikko! Excellent Iambic Pentameter! Congratulations for your win in Debbie's contest! hugs, Catie :)

  1. Date: 2/5/2012 11:34:00 AM

    Congratulations on your great work and finish in the contest. Best, Jon

  1. Date: 2/5/2012 11:34:00 AM

    This was a true work of friendship I see! A wonderful testimony of love within the lines, NIKKO. Glad to see that you found the time to sit and write. I am mesmerized by the depth of tho't and beauty of words. Congrats dear! Happy Valentine's Day early too! Such a very busy week coming up! Hugs, Gwendolen

  1. Date: 2/5/2012 11:05:00 AM

    Knew this was going to be on the podium!!! Awesome once more.

  1. Date: 2/5/2012 10:46:00 AM

    Lovely sentiments and perfect meter. Lcongratulations on your win. Love, Joyce

  1. Date: 2/5/2012 10:33:00 AM

    Nikko congrats on your great win..David

  1. Date: 2/5/2012 10:11:00 AM

    Congratulations Nikko i am pleased to see you among the wins...!

  1. Date: 2/5/2012 9:22:00 AM

    Congratulations Nikko, on your win in Debbie's contest. Hugs, Gail

  1. Date: 2/5/2012 3:52:00 AM

    is this you, nikks?... soo romantically subtle, parang kundiman!... thumbs up to this!..my winning bet! :) huggs!

  1. Date: 2/4/2012 2:39:00 PM

    NIKKO you NEED TO WRITE what METER you used is it Iambic?? is it pentameter..LABEL please..little one!

  1. Date: 2/3/2012 11:28:00 AM

    Beautiful,deep and sweet my friend Nikko.oxox love Laila

  1. Date: 2/3/2012 7:55:00 AM

    Now Shakespeare is really stirring! BTW, I think stubborn is sexy as long as it's a soft stubborn!

  1. Date: 2/3/2012 7:00:00 AM

    yeah love is forever...and what a beautiful way you used to show its depth of comfort and meaning.. C.C

  1. Date: 2/2/2012 10:43:00 PM

    Hello..Nikko.. how are you?? This is a very deep poem... i to would die... i can not endure no more pain.. I'm glad you know and feel the gift of love... as for me..i don't know any more... what is love??? Now it's my turn to sleep... see you tomorrow...lol..i mean stop by tomorrowwwwww...pzzzzzz...

    p.iNk Avatar binibining p.iNk Date: 2/2/2012 11:15:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    I'm doing good, I hope you are too, pd ;) Hmm what is Love? You tell me :D-- sweet dreams to you!
  1. Date: 2/2/2012 9:52:00 PM

    nikko, this is GREAT for your first sonnet?? I see only a few little things to make it perfectly metered. I will hotmail you, ok? I am really impressed by this! luv, Andrea

    p.iNk Avatar binibining p.iNk Date: 2/2/2012 11:14:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    Againm, you tickled me with what you say here, coming from you sonnet queen, this is just so heartwarming, yay!! Smiles all over! & thanks again for your suggestions, eep I have a feeling that mending line will get a hit from you heehee :D stubborn me!!
  1. Date: 2/2/2012 9:33:00 PM

    wow this one is very deep and intense sweet friend Nikko.. an amazing view .. wonderful flow of images too.. good luck for contest .. sweets..

    p.iNk Avatar binibining p.iNk Date: 2/2/2012 11:13:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    Thanks, Linda :) I enjoyed writing this one-- thanks for the inspiring comments :)
  1. Date: 2/2/2012 6:15:00 PM

    As Craig said in the end outside of the contest you should go with your gut as to the best version, but we are writers and we are capable of many incarnations of the same write ;) Line 3 [a LONE PATCHes] find a substitute for [patches that begins with an unstressed syllable {rePAIRS}/ as to the last line I would simply move the comma [But LOVE, ah LOVE, for EV er IT shall STAY] iambic pentameter 5 groupings of [unstress STRESS] Light & Love!

    p.iNk Avatar binibining p.iNk Date: 2/2/2012 11:11:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    I;m just happy to be trying to write a sonnet again, Debbie :) I think I might have some hope with meter ^_^! Thanks again for the suggestions--- I have to admit that this is giving me a workout and it's all good :) Thanks to your contest :D
  1. Date: 2/2/2012 5:05:00 PM

    It reads beautiful Nikko, really enjoyed the sonnet, love,vie

    p.iNk Avatar binibining p.iNk Date: 2/2/2012 11:09:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    Happy you enjoyed this, vie :D thank you!
  1. Date: 2/2/2012 4:25:00 PM

    Who cares how perfect this is in form and whatever! The important thing is that it is perfectly beautiful and heart rendering and to me it is a wow! Also we all wish that someone would have half those feelings for us!!!!!!!! However poetically challenged I may be...

    p.iNk Avatar binibining p.iNk Date: 2/2/2012 11:07:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    Aww, shucks, thanks so much Craig for such a heartwarming review, I'm just smiling so much right now :)
  1. Date: 2/2/2012 1:12:00 PM

    Lovely sonnet, Nikko. I guess it could be 'but love, ah, love, it shall forever stay' to get in the extra unstressed syllable. Beautiful piece. Thanks - enjoyed the contest : ) My wife Sue laughed as much as I did about your poo jokes, LOL

    p.iNk Avatar binibining p.iNk Date: 2/2/2012 1:26:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    Thank you for the suggestion, Jack! It sure made a whole lot of difference :D... I rearranged it a bit, and thanks as well for joining my contest, happy you enjoyed it and happy that your wife enjoyed those poopsies as much as you did :D
  1. Date: 2/2/2012 12:56:00 PM

    ps...how funny! I think we were commenting on each other's poem at the same time!! :)

    p.iNk Avatar binibining p.iNk Date: 2/2/2012 1:25:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    heehee we were thinking of each other at the same time :D
  1. Date: 2/2/2012 12:52:00 PM

    Very passionate work..Enjoyed reading this afternoon..The last two lines are to a summary to the whole poem..I hope that helps..I think that it sounds good..Thanks for the kind review of my work..Sara

    p.iNk Avatar binibining p.iNk Date: 2/2/2012 1:24:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    Thank you for the tip, Sara :) and a pleasure to read your work :D!
  1. Date: 2/2/2012 12:52:00 PM

    Ahhh Nikko! Is there anything you cannot write that isn't outstanding?? What a heart melting sonnet! I don't think anyone could improve on your own words, other than the one syllable that Kash found with his keen eyes! Nice!!!

    p.iNk Avatar binibining p.iNk Date: 2/2/2012 1:23:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    Aww shucks, you are so kind Carrie :) thank you! I do think I have to work on my meter-- I am meter deaf ;) thanks again for your kind words :D
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