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Green Eggs in Hell

Chris D. Aechtner Avatar Chris D. Aechtner - Premium MemberPremium Member Send Soup Mail Go to Poets Blog Block poet from commenting on your poetry

Below is the poem entitled Green Eggs in Hell which was written by poet Chris D. Aechtner. Please feel free to comment on this poem. However, please remember, PoetrySoup is a place of encouragement and growth.

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Green Eggs in Hell

That most demonic Samael,
is trying to drag me down to hell.

~(He keeps trying to entice me with green eggs -
scrumptious, titillating, green eggs.
Whether with spirulina, 
spinach, rocket, 
or succulent shoots of alfalfa.)~

I do not want to eat green eggs in hell,
so please leave me be, old Samael.

Yes, I do desire to eat green eggs,
you old horned Clootie, dirty Samael.
But I will not let this addiction
drag me down into the pit where you dwell.
I will not eat green eggs in hell!
I mean it now, can't you tell!?

I will not eat them with a louse,
I will not eat them in my house.
I will not eat them over there,
for I refuse to end up in your lair.

Even if it meant sex for eternity,
I will not succumb to your depravity -
even if those eggs are stuffed with THC.
Samael, please let me be!
Let me be!

No!
I will not eat them from a box,
or share them with that sexy fox.
Oh! You sneaky devil,
you almost had me by tossing in Michelle -
I admit, she is a most sultry, bombshell.

I will not eat them, Samael,
stop trying to drag me down to hell.

Even if you throw in a goat,
or yet another fancy boat,
I will not eat those green eggs!
I will not.
I refuse.

STOP IT!

Oh, how I crave them so,
yes I do, I surely do....

....but not enough to spend eternity with the likes of you!

Please return to the pit where you dwell,
I surely mean it now, can't you tell!?
You are a smelly scoundrel, Samael,
I will not eat green eggs in hell!




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  1. Date: 3/30/2012 12:23:00 PM
    ummm in any case you caught a glimpse of my earlier sorta whacked, desperate & impulsive comment...please pretend it never existed. Thank you :) It didn't work anyway :(( --- oh btw-- I heard back from Catie as well and I saw she commented to you as well-- yay for that :D!!

  1. Date: 1/29/2012 7:35:00 PM
    I hear they toss a mean salad in hell! THis one is very cool. Looks like you know yir Shittake, It's fun to read when people try to correct AUTHORS ON SPELLING OF THEIR OWN DANG CHARACTERS!!! Looks like homeboy wasn't banking on you knowing what was up in your OWN PIECE OF WORK. That kinda stuff used to enrage me. I laugh VERY hard at things like that! Awesome re-BUTT-le bro, HA. you the man! 7up Love homeY!~

    Aechtner Avatar Chris D. Aechtner
    Date: 1/30/2012 9:51:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry


    Good to see you drop by, Joey. Yeah, sometimes there is more than meets the eye, than just the possibility of a misspelling. Thank you for the encouragement!
  1. Date: 1/26/2012 10:00:00 AM
    I think you have a spot of Dr. Seuss in you. A great take off of Green Eggs and Ham only yours has more suspense. Clever Chris, I really enjoyed this one! :)

    Aechtner Avatar Chris D. Aechtner
    Date: 1/26/2012 12:04:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry


    Elizabeth, thank you for the kind comment and reading!
  1. Date: 1/26/2012 9:53:00 AM
    For I too would not eat green eggs in hell, Because I'm certin that they would really smell..And if I ate even one piece,it would surely put my soul on lease..Hell is not the place I wish to dwell,from these words I'm sure you can tell.....I thought your poem was original,but I'm sure that others might think of it as plagiarism..Nice write! :o)

    Aechtner Avatar Chris D. Aechtner
    Date: 1/26/2012 12:04:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry


    Dan, I like how you added your own lines there! Yeah, I wrote this poem in such a way that people can and probably will consider this to be plagiarism....I went with it regardless! Thanks for reading.
  1. Date: 1/26/2012 8:07:00 AM
    Well I sure found myself smiling as I read this, Chris! If he were still alive, I don't think Dr. Seuss would sue you, & he'd just find this witty ;)...Extra t somewhere btw...you sure owned green eggs and ham here heehee, I could just imagine this illustrated...seriously though, I like the conviction in your underlying message here...hmm, I wonder now what Green Eggs in Heaven would be like? Care to write that in French? Say, oui, oui! Haha! Winkity wink wink ^_~

    Aechtner Avatar Chris D. Aechtner
    Date: 1/26/2012 12:02:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry


    Heya nikko, it would be great if Dr. Seuss had found this witty(R.I.P.)! I found the extra t, thanks for the heads up. Glad that you enjoyed the read. Hmmmm, I will have to think about the French version.
  1. Date: 1/26/2012 6:07:00 AM
    **This comment has been found to be in violation of H.R. 3261, S.O.P.A. and will be removed immediately** IMMEDIATELY, I SAY, IMMEDIATELY!!

    Aechtner Avatar Chris D. Aechtner
    Date: 1/26/2012 11:59:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry


    **This reply has been found to be in direct violation of H.R. 3261, S.O.P.A. and will be removed immediately**
  1. Date: 1/26/2012 6:03:00 AM
    Okay, yo had me at Green Eggs and Hell, Chris...I was going to have a Dr. SEuss contest bc of the Grinch who stole my Christmas...then I come over here and read this delight..You are a health food nut, aren't you? I recently read of yellow food dye being carcinogenic but IT"S THE GREEN SORT WE SHOULD WORRY ABOUT! Funny, upbeat,...the first sound read of this day. Ps..You owe me a nickel..The poem I wrote in your honor was in a 7 way tie for first..Now that you are famous, what would you like to say..You got the Mic, baby! ha ha

    Aechtner Avatar Chris D. Aechtner
    Date: 1/26/2012 11:57:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry


    Heya Gwendolen. Congrats on your 1st place victory! I think that an 11 place tie would amount to about a nickel's worth in royalties, so I would be more than willing to owe you a nickel! Thanks for dropping by.
  1. Date: 1/26/2012 12:14:00 AM
    Boy Suess, a good dose of green eggs a very enjoyable read- excellent and entertaining write Chris very clever, : ) Bren

    Aechtner Avatar Chris D. Aechtner
    Date: 1/26/2012 11:55:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry


    Brenda, I am very glad that you found this poem to be entertaining.
  1. Date: 1/26/2012 12:07:00 AM
    Ooh that sneaky old Samael...Creeping in with his cunning, clever tricks to make us do the darnedest things...Very well written and a most entertaining read...I don't think Dr. Seuss was a vegetarian. (I much prefer alfalfa and rocket to ham.)

    Aechtner Avatar Chris D. Aechtner
    Date: 1/26/2012 11:54:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry


    Christine, it is always far better to prefer alfalfa and rocket over ham. Thank you for reading this silly poem.
  1. Date: 1/26/2012 12:00:00 AM
    ahh, the angel of seduction... a bombardment of visceral images, chris!... tempting piece..:) huggs!

    Aechtner Avatar Chris D. Aechtner
    Date: 1/26/2012 11:53:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry


    Heya nette, thanks for reading.
  1. Date: 1/25/2012 11:11:00 PM
    What would Dr. Seuss think of this if he were still alive today? Good entertaining writing Chris.

    Aechtner Avatar Chris D. Aechtner
    Date: 1/26/2012 11:52:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry


    Glad that you found this poem to be entertaining, Robert.