Just to slow it down a bit I decided to come in my room and meditate
There’s a lot going on and I figured it’d ease my troubled mental state
But who am I kidding clearing my mind is not the best attribute of mine
So as you can read I was sidetracked by my own thoughts…
thoughts of him
My heart is definitely trying to tell me something
Now it’s time for my mind to stop the denial
Whether I fully understand it or not
it’s something I’ve known for a while
I like him? No, I can be more honest with me…I like him.
How and when did I let this happen?
Reflecting on recent times I am left with nothing but admittance
He is the first person I think of everyday
The person I think of all day
The person I pray for at night
Yet something about this all just doesn’t seem quite right
My emotions are not things I express but instead tend to supress
so it’s not completely surprising that they creep up on me
Even still this makes no sense whatsoever by common sense’s standards
In earlier times you were mean to me and hurt my feelings daily
I hated home and hated school even more because of you
By all accounts I have always affirmed that you were an asshole
Cocky, arrogant, self-righteous, and by the ladies spoiled
Thats why it irks me that your thoughts have so much weight
“Why are you so tall?” is your only face-to-face with me to date
So what has happened in these past 12-13 years that has changed my heart?
We were never even close and even now we dont speak
How is it then that you have this hold over me?