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The Forbidden Pumpkin Pie

Tony Lane Avatar  Send Soup Mail  Block poet from commenting on your poetry

Below is the poem entitled The Forbidden Pumpkin Pie which was written by poet Tony Lane. Please feel free to comment on this poem. However, please remember, PoetrySoup is a place of encouragement and growth.

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The Forbidden Pumpkin Pie

“White pumpkins are an aberration,” from the pulpit cried the preacher,
As his eyes scanned the congregation before landing on the teacher.

“Pumpkins should always be orange just the way that God intended,
To have them any other way is proof Satan’s powers have been extended.”

The teacher that was new to town started squirming in the pew,
For he was growing white pumpkins in his patch but only just a few.

He had in mind to try something that no one else would ever try,
He wanted to know if it was possible to make a pure white pumpkin pie.

But now his pie experiment has been condemned as being full of sin,
And to continue on with his curiosity would only invite the devil in.

Yet the thoughts of possibilities had taken root inside his head,
And he wasn’t going to give it up no matter what the preacher said.

So he snuck out to the patch that night with orange paint and a brush,
And to each white pumpkin on the ground he gave an orange-ish blush.

And when the time had come to harvest the ivory pumpkin crop,
The teacher tried to resist but he found he couldn’t stop.

He sliced and diced and mashed and baked until the pie was made,
And then with a fork held in his hand he bowed his head and prayed.

“Dear Lord please deliver me from this dish that I’m about to eat,
For if it has been Satan’s will this pie will lead to my defeat.”

But no sign was given to him and there was only silent night,
So he shrugged his shoulders and raised his fork and then he took a bite.

They found him the next morning and they knew what made him die,
He couldn’t survive the ecstasy of eating forbidden white pumpkin pie.

“Let this stand as the teacher’s final lesson to the students that he taught,”
 The preacher cried “If you pick forbidden fruit it’s you who will get caught.”

But the kids knew that the preacher’s words were somewhat out of place,
Because they’d seen the teacher buried with a big smile on his face.

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  1. Date: 11/17/2011 10:27:00 AM
    "Forbidden fruit"....what an awesome write....loved it.

  1. Date: 10/29/2011 5:56:00 PM
    True confessions.... I actually went to that church.... once. Was on the highway where all the billboards on the right said "Whosoever believeth" except for the ones that said "We Bare All, 24 hours, and Pole Dancing, Too!!"... I didn't notice any billboards on the left.

  1. Date: 10/28/2011 1:12:00 AM
    Oh, MY, this is very clever. I enjoy this philosophy you presented here. Naughty YES. love that thinking outside the box!

    Lane Avatar Tony Lane
    Date: 10/28/2011 1:27:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry


    Fire, brimstone and pale pie.
  1. Date: 10/27/2011 10:07:00 PM
    WHY YOU CHARMING, NAUGHEY PRAT! OR "YEAH, WHAT NANCY SAID." My baby is sleeping, sleeping, blast you man, the child NEVER sleeps and here I am trying NOT to laugh out loud, which wasn't easy, and when it comes to poetry, it takes A LOT for me to actually laugh. This is sure to top way, way, way up on the top of the winners list. It's secret? IT SURPRISES. Just delightful, Tony.

    Lane Avatar Tony Lane
    Date: 10/28/2011 1:27:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry


    Tell your baby I said BOO!!!
  1. Date: 10/27/2011 7:49:00 PM
    sumbitch

    Lane Avatar Tony Lane
    Date: 10/28/2011 1:26:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry


    I know, I know.
  1. Date: 10/27/2011 6:41:00 PM
    Alexa was telling me how funny your poetry is, Tony, and I must say this one had me rolling with laughter. You and Bob Hinshaw should try co-writing together. What a team you'd make! As far as I'm concerned, this is first-place work! Love, Carolyn

    Lane Avatar Tony Lane
    Date: 10/28/2011 1:26:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry


    I try to get Bob to help but he says he won't be seen on the same page as him. I understand.
  1. Date: 10/27/2011 1:12:00 PM
    This is so awesome, I swear Tonino you give me more wrinkles every day. What am I going to do with you? Guess I just have to throw more hugs your way. Love,Vie

    Lane Avatar Tony Lane
    Date: 10/28/2011 1:28:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry


    What are you going to do with me? Hey, what are you going to do with me?
  1. Date: 10/27/2011 10:55:00 AM
    Excellent, Tony! Another winner for sure. Kim

    Lane Avatar Tony Lane
    Date: 10/28/2011 1:29:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry


    Thanks Kim.
  1. Date: 10/27/2011 9:43:00 AM
    Brilliant , very funnyx

    Lane Avatar Tony Lane
    Date: 10/28/2011 1:30:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry


    I've always thought that the British use the word brilliant way too often. Now I have proof but I like it.
  1. Date: 10/27/2011 8:58:00 AM
    Thank you for supporting the contest Tony. Love, Carol

    Lane Avatar Tony Lane
    Date: 10/28/2011 1:30:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry


    Thank you for having a contest.