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River Swallow

Chris D. Aechtner Avatar Chris D. Aechtner - Premium MemberPremium Member Send Soup Mail Go to Poets Blog Block poet from commenting on your poetry

Below is the poem entitled River Swallow which was written by poet Chris D. Aechtner. Please feel free to comment on this poem. However, please remember, PoetrySoup is a place of encouragement and growth.

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River Swallow

Bird of pain makes wrong move and slips from nest, splashing into frigid, flowing water. It defies the odds by swimming to shore, shivering on slippery, concrete edge. Do I leave the swallow to die like this, letting nature take its predestined course? Its parents have done just this__turn away. Pick up the pain in my hands- offer heat, but the bird becomes weak; succumbs to death three days later- they are such fragile, finicky creatures. Was there a point in prolonging its death? What is three days in the grand wheel of time? I swallow these questions, creating more, wondering what my true intentions were. The baby swallow had been a fighter, so I must have seen myself in its eyes. And so I had tried to help it survive, merely prolonging its death by three days. I can only pray that if I fall hard, those helping hands will hold the proper keys.

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  1. Date: 4/20/2012 8:19:00 AM
    Loving your work to the fullest!!!

  1. Date: 6/22/2011 9:23:00 PM
    oh geez?? I am back to this write>?? hahah! swallow the gulp!! hahah repleid to soupmail! :D

  1. Date: 6/21/2011 11:44:00 PM
    slurped up the soupmail--SLuurrpppp! burrrrp! Sorry was having lunch- go check it out later -- :) thanks :D

  1. Date: 6/13/2011 11:21:00 PM
    Chris, I hope this is an example of how you want your contest to be. I came here and saw that this is that same form I liked do much from before. Luv, Andrea

  1. Date: 6/12/2011 12:40:00 PM
    oh my gosh!! I am still here!! been here in spurts-- gosh I actually commented on all of pd's winners....couldn't not! but I took a break from it then resumed it after haha! -- I am sickkkkkk. aack. anyhow I am going after this -- I read your comments about my whacked meter lol :D that was me being extra whacked that day I guess? so it spilled over to that 'haiku' and I just ran away with it heehee--

    p.iNk Avatar binibining p.iNk
    Date: 6/12/2011 12:40:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry


    & nope I don't think I watched that series? Twilight Zone I am familiar with so hmm maybe I will look up the guy one of these days
  1. Date: 5/22/2011 2:41:00 PM
    Hi Chris.... a wish described with great art! well done! jimbo

  1. Date: 5/21/2011 7:55:00 PM
    Wow what a sweet poem Chris. Shows you one with nature. Now give me one that will make me bowels release its load in the sheer suspence and gore of the moment. Big Up Chris

  1. Date: 5/21/2011 2:45:00 AM
    Chris, I really enjoyed this one. You know me, i love things done to "form" that is why, even free verse stuff can be done to form, that is what I consider this type of poetry to be, like free verse but to form. About iambic pentameter. I took a course on poetry and learned my forte was sonnet becuase indeed, I think poetically in iambic pentameter but now have learned to think in the other meters as well. I wrote about it in the poem "Iambic Skates" if you ever want to read it! Luv, andrea

  1. Date: 5/20/2011 11:18:00 PM
    Hey, Chris, just saw your question on Andrea's poem. I haven't seen iambic pentameter as a requirement anywhere for the villanelle, a lovely form of poetry. I do think the example given on the Soup does not have iambic pantemeter, but it does have the same number of syllables in each line. Check it out: "Do Not Go Gently into that Good Night." A longtime favorite poem of mine. Have a great weekend. Love, Carolyn

  1. Date: 5/20/2011 7:22:00 PM
    This is excellent Chris!Thanks for your inspiring words at my page..

  1. Date: 5/20/2011 12:59:00 PM
    Loved this, an enjoyed reading it, nice write.

  1. Date: 5/20/2011 11:43:00 AM
    First, this is an incredibly well written teractys that touches my heart. And at least you tried to save the bird, Chris. I believe that doing such a deed will reap rewards in your time of need. Also, I really enjoyed your play on words when you said you would "swallow these questions." Extraordinary! Love, Carolyn

    Aechtner Avatar Chris D. Aechtner
    Date: 5/20/2011 1:50:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry


    Wow! Carolyn, your review almost sounds better than my actual poem. Thank you for the kind words.
  1. Date: 5/20/2011 11:18:00 AM
    What a very moving way to end this very meaningful tetractys, Chris (ooh that rhymed!); You sure seem to have such an affinity with injured animals, & methinks that they just really sense that caring nature of yours? It's so cool how you take on the different meanings for "swallow" here; you know what line grabbed me? "Pick up the pain"-- could mean So much and somehow, I honestly think that there will Always, always be somebody to pick you up when you fall, I'm willing to bet on it ;)

    p.iNk Avatar binibining p.iNk
    Date: 5/20/2011 11:19:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry


    ei speaking of coconuts (freaky you mentioned that-- I actually made a dessert yesterday using that, remember I told you before about that buko pandan dessert? yummy ;p, & I put in sago pearls this time... was supposed to blog about it, maybe when I have more time--go to sleep!
    p.iNk Avatar binibining p.iNk
    Date: 5/20/2011 11:17:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry


    :p for some reason it only happens in your poems?? welcome to confusion island ;) haha even I got confused with you, so now you are a "feature creature"? lol who prefers bananas and coconuts (I don't even want to know O_o)
    Aechtner Avatar Chris D. Aechtner
    Date: 5/20/2011 11:12:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry


    You are so funny....these reply sections are becoming longer than the poems! Well, I must use the 'reply' thingy, because I am a "feature" sort of guy and always enjoy using new features. Wait!? Or am I a "creature" sort of guy? I become confused by this point of introspection, and usually pacify myself with a banana or coconut....
    p.iNk Avatar binibining p.iNk
    Date: 5/20/2011 10:37:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry


    oh duhh this is whacked? I said "below" and when it submitted, your comment was the one below! heeheee-- oops! I meant ABOVE o_0
    p.iNk Avatar binibining p.iNk
    Date: 5/20/2011 10:35:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry


    hmm...something? What would that be? A crane? kidding! Just look around you, I think there's a lot of people around you who got your back, mister & include me in that list- yeah I'm not there, there but you know I'm just here ;) & oops! I thought it was, but this is still a super write! Glad you wrote it :D
    p.iNk Avatar binibining p.iNk
    Date: 5/20/2011 10:35:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry


    oh don't mind my grammar below, it got a bit weird I think, lol ;p
    Aechtner Avatar Chris D. Aechtner
    Date: 5/20/2011 1:48:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry


    Thank you for the enthusiasm, Nikko. Well, I am glad that you think someone or something will pick me up if I fall. I never meant for this tetractys to be entered into a contest though.
    p.iNk Avatar binibining p.iNk
    Date: 5/20/2011 11:19:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry


    oh btw this is another Uniquely Fantastic Opus of yours, and I am serious-- won't be surprised if this is among the top winners ;)
  1. Date: 5/20/2011 11:12:00 AM
    Thank you for sharing your special poetry with us today Chris. Have a wonderful weekend and may you find inspiration to continue your writing along the way. Love, Carol

  1. Date: 5/20/2011 10:04:00 AM
    Wow Chris!! On the one hand this reminds me of the birds my dad sometimes bring home and try and nurse them back to health.. Most of the occasions they pass on and we're left a little sad.. But the opportunity to give them that little chance at survival does count for something.. Least I hope so.. I actually love your last one, bringing it home with a personal touch.. Love it! Another fav for me ;)

    Aechtner Avatar Chris D. Aechtner
    Date: 5/20/2011 1:46:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry


    See, that is a nice story. I have a similar one involving a Mourning Dove.
    Neels Avatar Wilma Neels
    Date: 5/20/2011 10:45:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry


    Chris, we had an African grey that we nursed back to health for just under a year and just one day he decided it was time to fly away.. Amazingly enough we were all at home that day and in his own unique way he actually said goodbye to us.. That makes all the difference I reckon.. So yeah today one dies but tomorrow gives us another chance to try again.. Glad I could assist in making your day ;)
    Aechtner Avatar Chris D. Aechtner
    Date: 5/20/2011 10:36:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry


    Wilma, you helped make my day with your comment. I don't know how many baby birds I have tried to nurse back to health? I have lost track. Yeah, it is sad when they pass on despite my efforts, but when I am able to save a few and release them, it feels very good, making up for the other ones.