The lawyer's named Julius
a veritable ebriosus
(in Queen's English: perm'nently pissed)
he takes a last swig
gives a belch as of pig
from the bench: "Ouch! Again I have missed!"
"Your Worship! Your Honor!
virtuous your manner
that you're fair we humbly agree
but the bribe you are bleedin'
is well beyond reason
now, pray, set this criminal free?
"My learned colleague
the one with the wig
(I believe she's the state prosecutor)
for a meager amount
will withdraw all the counts,
wipe all evidence off her computer."
"Step forth, legal counsel
o'er the bench we will
negotiate new terms now you're plastered
approach the damned bench
please pardon my French
for Latin I haven't yet mastered
"To lighten my task
I'll partake from your flask
on financials 'tis wise to imbibe
two sips of your Cane
should rid me of pain
might I convince you to double the bribe?
"To remove any doubt,
morals I've nowt
to my pocket, not law, I'm compliant
Mr big-shot lawyer,
give me cause to respect yer
and try to squeeze more from your client!"
"After due consultation
and much apprehension",
said Julius, his look more disheveled
"This crime was hard toil
but we'll divvy the spoils
our offer's not doubled but trebled."
"On due legal analysis
this case is dismissed
and henceforth may no man refute it
I'll share in the bounty
thus though he be guilty
the wretched accused is acquitted."
(This is a work of fiction in its entirety and merely a satirical look at our corrupt