There was a time in my life when I was Self-assured
and I experienced the Esteem of my fellow man.
I could walk into a roomful of strangers and have no qualms
about the dangers of a slip of the tongue, as I knew I would have
a quick and witty repartee for them.
Of course, that time in my life passed all too quickly, as I grew
older and "full of wisdom" taught by life's experiences. The self-assurance
I had when I was 18, transformed into a more cautious, yet still
estimable 25. Taking what I knew to be the deceitful practices of
unscrupulous and dishonest men, I reassessed my own life in terms of
its self-assurance and esteem.
I found that I it was more difficult to be sure of myself in every situation;
that because of the pain I had to endure at their hands I would now look
at my life through the ever emptying glass of self-worth, prestige, and
know-it-all attitude. I had to find my guide, again.
Others now pointed out the foibles that were inherent in my character. I took note of
these observations, only to find that too many of them were true. However, I also began
to realize that in order for me to again regain the esteem of the person I saw each
morning in the mirror, I had to better follow my original mission statement of life ~ TO
I began this mission in earnest by careful assessment of the past mistakes I had made in
judgment, my personal sins of commission and omission, and a renewed faith in God's mercy.
It has been a struggle for over 30 years now, and I have a renewed Esteem and
Self-assurance because of my belief in Him.
Of the gifts He gave to me in that time of searching, the most important and influential
were a new wife and family, their love and affection, and the ability and confidence to
write words like these for you to read.
Now, I can again enter that room of strangers and have the ability to speak to them
without the doubts that have plagued me for these many years. I owe it to the Lord above,
thank Him for His generosity to me, and pray that you will also know His Loving Will in
your life. VIVAT JESUS!