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When

Jay J. Jurado Avatar    Block poet from commenting on your poetry

Below is the poem entitled When which was written by poet Jay J. Jurado. Please feel free to comment on this poem. However, please remember, PoetrySoup is a place of encouragement and growth.

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When

when wind blows and engine wails
when music rises and tires tear
when gears shift, up without fail
when landscape passes, so does fear

when heart beats and smites in chest
when senses race, beg for life
when human instinct cries, protests
when arrow rises, up and right

when gas is streaming, brakes lie still
when roaring wind fills the head
when speed is great, enough to kill
when glory beckons, til now unfed

when all thoughts leave, save for one
when nothing's left, no pain, despair
when this is reached, the wall undone
this is perfection, without compare

thus who would now this venture dare
who would in this state entail
now who would offer a heartsick pra'er
to the dark Gods, reap souls 'thout fail

we mortals seek this place oh why
this place where thought is total, s'pressed
s'pressed all thought but race or die
race for ever, or from reality fly

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  1. Date: 11/24/2010 6:37:00 AM

    The concentration required when doing something exciting and dangerous, and surviving, is focus at its sharpest. It's very human to seek this, and may be the force that starts everything from suicide to war. Each of us that struggles for perfection has faced this rite of passage in some way.

  1. Date: 11/18/2010 4:03:00 PM

    Thank you =)

  1. Date: 11/18/2010 12:14:00 AM

    I'm proud of you. I read a lot of poetry and yours is great, but most of all, it's from the heart. It's direct, not pretentious, and is written to communicate your feelings rather than to impress. That sort of poetry is always far more "impressive" than the showy stuff.

  1. Date: 11/17/2010 11:31:00 AM

    You know...Our grand mother would be proud. She wrote poetry all her life. Very moving, confusing, eloquent.