One day I heard a knock
Or more a rapid tap upon my door.
It brought me not acute alarm,
For it was noonday by the clock
And noontime rarely brings one harm,
So with my midday tea I crossed the floor.
I took a cautious look,
Through entryway devices in the wall
Known only by my spouse and I
And were well hidden in the nook
Where unseen eyes allow no lie
From ill-willed strangers who might choose to call.
When I peeked out this day
I gazed upon a rather portly man
Of middle years and fine attire.
A well bred man one then could say
But said today they'd be a liar;
No "well bred man" this man of darker plan!
I opened wide my door of oak
Which as it hung weighed over half a ton.
But physics did allow that weight
And we've had not a single bloke
To realign the door to this estate;
When intellect's applied the job gets done.
This stranger stiffened straight
Then from his waist he gave a courtly bow.
I smiled at him and said "come in"
And little did he hesitate
Before his rotund body pushed within
Without a pause or cause to disallow.
I turned to see his rear
Still moving deeper through my sacred place.
I heard myself let loose a shout
Which was a shout no doubt of fear
Of what this stranger was about
And why this rude intrusion of my space?