Below is the poem entitled Dysphoria which was written by poet
Castillo. Please feel free to comment on this poem. However, please remember, PoetrySoup is a place of encouragement and growth.
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Camille Rose Castillo
What do you have that provokes such unease
at the sight of your tall, masculine frame
For I cannot believe how I just want to hide
I am beside myself with discomfort and fear, or is it shame?
Why is it that you trouble me so? How I've tried to figure this out
For you haven't said or done anything wrong
What in the world is this all about?
While at work just doing my thing
I can remember the times not long ago
When all it would take was to turn and see you
And my whole being would scream,"Oh No!"
My heart would literally skip a beat
And fear would immediately take hold
I honestly wished I could just disappear
Into the floor through a large gaping hole!
"My God!" I would think to myself
As I would look the other way
"Please be gone when I look up again,"
I couldn't help but always pray.
One day in particular stands out so clear
When I was walking down the aisle
Just as calm as ever, didn't know you were near
playing a song in my head, I even had a smile.
Suddenly, something told me to turn around
And in an instant I lost my breath
My knees went weak, And all I could hear
Was the pounding in my chest!
I need not mention that my destination
At that moment seemed miles away
For it turned out to be the longest walk
I had ever walked in one day!
As I continued to walk, I kept asking myself
"Why does this man scare me so?"
For you are quite handsome, even polite
Why you frighten me, I'll probably never know.
Could you be someone I maybe once knew
In another time, another place or past?
For I just can't believe the unease that I have
I am hoping for too long won't last.
I saw you today, after quite some time
And I honestly still can't believe
How someone I don't really even know
Can have such an effect over me!
~ Camille Rose Castillo 2009