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walking amidst a dream

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Below is the poem entitled walking amidst a dream which was written by poet mike patrick. Please feel free to comment on this poem. However, please remember, PoetrySoup is a place of encouragement and growth.

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walking amidst a dream

lost in the haze on a day of days
yet with no fear I get nearer to near
not knowing where im going no path is showing
everything seems so real to touch or feel
but what i feel inside says its a lie to be tried
but I yearn so bad to have something I havent had
in so long, ive tried but i was wrong
with this sense of  reality goes my irrationality
no doubts,fears, or tears letting go of the wheel that steers
and in that moment im free to simply be me
to say what i cant say any other day
to try a feat with no fear of defeat
to take what i yearn without the lesson to learn
but its a fact of life there will always be strife
weighing the odds praying to the gods
fate changes everyday by the words u choose to say
life is all about chance and circumstance
patience is key in every difficult victory
a win is a win for every washed up has-been
savor it while it last for tommorrow its the past
its always a bummer to wake from a slumber
to accept you lost to any cost
you cant win em all even the best will sometimes fall
lost in the haze on a day of days
hoping you'll be my light on this darkest of nights
that you'll light my way to the dawn of each day
while everything is as it may seem while walking amidst a dream
through my rationality you are my reality

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  1. Date: 5/11/2010 7:13:00 AM
    Since you like my input I will give you alot..just keep realizing..I know..it's only my opinion and don't even believe in the concept of right & wrong..1st take..I like how nothing is capitalized or punctuated IF the verse itself has a totla disregard for structure as a core message..now I'll read ;)

  1. Date: 5/11/2010 7:13:00 AM
    ah ha! it is a topic which feels comfey without punctuation or capitalization...NOW the only time you did punctuate was on you'll..."you'll light my way to the dawn of each day" if this was with intent to focus and the you'll is God or a significant other...it works! This topic is a favorite of mine, try Duh? and When Madness Rides on Moonlight they are both meant to make the reader experience being "touched" or a bit crazy...and the good company they're in!

  1. Date: 1/27/2010 5:10:00 PM
    Mike, this is very good! All things do pass, but the one constant is the Creator. Are you so busy that you havent written another good one sind you last posted? Write, write so you can inspire someone! Thanks for sharing your gift and thanks for your kind comment on my poem! Peace, Audrey

  1. Date: 1/15/2010 9:10:00 PM
    Nice poem...Enjoyed...Marty