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Exactly 17 People Passed by without Stopping to see if I was Alright

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Below is the poem entitled Exactly 17 People Passed by without Stopping to see if I was Alright which was written by poet Hana Ryusaka. Please feel free to comment on this poem. However, please remember, PoetrySoup is a place of encouragement and growth.

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Exactly 17 People Passed by without Stopping to see if I was Alright

This is a love 
that is bitter as citrus
that leaves me burning coldly
bowed head, clenched fists
on a park bench 
in the middle of winter

The people see
but they can't help it
they can't help me from falling
so they walk by with 
shadows spinning 
like spiderwebs in their 
eyes
and their fingers 
to their
lips

Don't touch her
they must say to their unruly children
Don't disturb her
or she might blow away
in a thousand starburst patterns
of skin

because I'm grieving 
for a loss that has yet to find me 
and I'm falling
as calmly and as irrevocably as a snowflake
rescinding into myself
into ash on the pavement

I can't save myself from this
dear
My fingers are too cold
to reach inside my chest anymore
I'm untouchable 

I let my eyes burn into the sky
because somehow that's where I
expect him to be

  but I'm always
    always wrong

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  1. Date: 5/2/2010 8:38:00 PM
    Wow, the sadness is so well written here, with gut-wrenching, powerful imagery. Great job. Chris.

  1. Date: 2/15/2010 9:58:00 AM
    Sad thoughts that you have penned in this one. Keep the creative pen flowing. Sara

  1. Date: 2/9/2010 7:21:00 PM
    Dreamy.....nice!

  1. Date: 2/5/2010 11:45:00 PM
    You grab the reader and make them see another's heart...that is extraordinary...and cathartic for all involved.

  1. Date: 12/20/2009 4:22:00 PM
    Very poignant write, Micaela, very sad, heartwrenching poem, feeling through the line the depth of your mourning. It is hard to watch someone that has given up. It must be hard also for him to watch that. Wishing you to find your way to the light and live again, especially as we are about to begin a new year. My prayers are with you. Caroline.

  1. Date: 12/20/2009 1:14:00 PM
    so sad, good one