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My_True_Identity.sas

Yoni Dvorkis Avatar  Send Soup Mail  Block poet from commenting on your poetry

Below is the poem entitled My_True_Identity.sas which was written by poet Yoni Dvorkis. Please feel free to comment on this poem. However, please remember, PoetrySoup is a place of encouragement and growth.

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My_True_Identity.sas

Data Birth;
 INFILE 'C\Fathersperm\Motheregg\9_months\The_One_Of_Shadows.txt';
 INPUT FNAME = 'Yoni'
          LNAME = 'Dvorkis';
    Var Hidden_Meaning = "SAS code is not meant to be poetry you nut job";
Run; 

Data Child;
 Set Birth;
    Where Age >= 4; 
    Var Worldview = Parents_Worldview; 
    Var Facial_Expression = compress('Fear'||'Bewilderment'||'Jews believe in guilt');
Run;

Data Teenager;
 Set Child (Drop= Innocence, Baby_Fat, Cheerful_Disposition);
    Where Age >= 15 and BAC_Level >= .01;
    Var Worldview = (Peer_Pressure * 100) + Favorite_Teacher_Worldview
                            - Parents_Worldview;
    Var Hidden_Meaning = "Where are you going with this?";
Run;

Data Adult;
 Set Teenager (Keep= Anger, Intelligence, Need_For_Material_Wealth, Hatred_Towards_Body
                     Drop= A_Sense_Of_Security_In_An_Unforgiving_World);
    Var Job_That_Slowly_Kills_You = "Healthcare Data Analyst and SAS Programmer";
    Var Worldview = (Company_Mission_Statement + Family_Is_Most_Important) 
                             / Screw_Everyone_Else_I_Have_My_Own_Problems;
    Where Age >= 21 and BAC_Level >= .15;
         If Yearly_Salary >= 100,000 then 
             Self_Esteem = "Now I'm worth something!!";
         Else if 50,000 <= Yearly_Salary < 100,000 then 
             Self_Esteem = "I guess I should count myself lucky...";
         Else if Yearly_Salary < 50,000 then 
             Self_Esteem =  ______;
    Var Hidden_Meaning = "Jeez, you're really laying it on thick with the salary stuff";
Run;

Data Old_Man;
 Set Adult;
     Where Age >= 65 and Yearly_Salary = "Whatever's left of Social Security"; 
     Var Cynical_Being = 
              (Why_Did_It_Have_To_End_Like_This  *  Years_Hiding_In_Plain_Sight )
                                            - The_Will_To_Keep_Going;
Run; 

Proc sort data = Old_Man out = Old_Man_On_Deathbed nodupkey;
 By What_This_All_Meant_To_Me;
Run;

Data My_True_Identity;
 Merge Old_Man_On_Deathbed (in = a)  God  (in = b);
 By _all_;
 If b and not a;
Run;

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  1. Date: 5/7/2010 2:38:00 PM
    Wow! Creativity reigns here. Allows the reader to bring something into the piece. Keep on writing! Have a good weekend. Karen

  1. Date: 1/13/2010 3:00:00 PM
    Interesting work that went into this one.Social Security thing right that leaves one without a yearly income. Keep the creative pen flowing . Thanks for the comments on my work. Sara

  1. Date: 12/14/2009 11:31:00 AM
    awesome, a little hard to understand at first but once i got it it was amazing =]

  1. Date: 12/11/2009 12:18:00 PM
    Very clever write here, Yoni and great imagination... smile ... Hope you have a wonderful holiday and 2010 is the best for you and yours!!

  1. Date: 12/10/2009 5:11:00 PM
    Oh I have to tell you I forwarded this verse to my Uncle..he's in his 70's he used to be an editor for a big wig firm in NY . He said he was "blown away" he absolutely loved it just tell us what SAS is okies? (Self actuating system??)

  1. Date: 12/8/2009 5:28:00 AM
    Yoni, With forgiveness, b plus a = happiness in the eternities. Good luck and right choices to us all!!! Teenage years?!?!? Well, we do improve with wisdom. Nice poem... made me think and decipher! Enjoyed. (soupmail) Lovingly, Dane Ann

  1. Date: 12/3/2009 7:42:00 AM
    Did anyone ever tell you you're a difficult child ;) :P..and the concock tion about is MARVELOUS!! You go man! Light & Love Cookie

  1. Date: 12/1/2009 5:30:00 PM
    Awesome the way you set the stage for each age in a man's life. Had a great laugh when I read "Whatever's left of Social Security." Very clever. You are incredibly bright and original. Congrats on placing second in the Holiday Poem Contest. I just loved your entry! Love to you and Veroni, Carolyn

  1. Date: 12/1/2009 12:49:00 PM
    Ammmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaazzzzzzziiiiiiiiinnnggggg..always original Yoni..Of course this goes to my favz..Charma:)