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Sunburnt... **Peeling***

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Below is the poem entitled Sunburnt... **Peeling*** which was written by poet sajdah al-riyami. Please feel free to comment on this poem. However, please remember, PoetrySoup is a place of encouragement and growth.

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Sunburnt... **Peeling***

I see the waves face each other in anger of falling tears
Then they collide into one another to fight
But end up making love in the peace sun

Why cant i make peace in the sun?
Why cant i forgive the forgotten?
Why cant i forget the forgiven?

The hardest thing in my life is to shed my tears
infront of all
And yet here i am not caring
Shedding them out

Its like a puddle of what i thought is my own blood
But my blood still floods my insides
Its my heart im shedding
Is this forgetting the forgiven?

But i place my hand on my cheecks
The back of it used as a tissue
And i look at my hands and see it peeled
Am i forgiving the forgotten?

(I dunno wheather i should enter this into sheeding your skin contest.I need at some 
enthusiasm.Let me know if i shouldn't or mawb change it or just keep it this way and enter 
it.Thanx to all=) )

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  1. Date: 8/7/2009 2:39:00 PM
    Snakes shed their skins when it gets too tight. When it bothers you, you get rid of it. Seems like the way we should do things, "And yet here I am not caring / Shedding them out". It's not easy to let go. I think I get your idea here. "...waves face each other in anger...", it seems like you're talking about a past conflict. Seems like the whole poem is about shedding or not shedding. "To be or not to be". If that's the message you want, then keep it. If it's not, then change it.

  1. Date: 8/7/2009 1:31:00 AM
    Sajdah, Your fourth stanza asks an interesting question. I can relate to this poem because there was a time in my life that I felt so hurt, but could not cry. I just could not cry at all. I didn't even know why. But for some unknown reason, I hurt... So, being able to cry again was like getting back part of myself. I don't think I'll ever understand it. But I know that being able to cry is necessary for happiness. This poem seems to shed that closed down protected part of oneself. Good.

  1. Date: 8/5/2009 3:16:00 PM
    I like it, and I think is a good entry to the contest...however, I think that the subject is a little abstract... you're shedding your skin but the difficult situation or the hard moment in your life is still unveiled... The reader understand your point but under different realites and ideas...WHY are you shedding your skin? : ) Have a great day. Ruben.

  1. Date: 8/5/2009 2:23:00 PM
    yeah you should! I want to enter too but i don't feel it yet if you know what i mean lol