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May I?

Tavip Endro Yuwono Avatar  Send Soup Mail  Block poet from commenting on your poetry

Below is the poem entitled May I? which was written by poet Tavip Endro Yuwono. Please feel free to comment on this poem. However, please remember, PoetrySoup is a place of encouragement and growth.

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May I?

Hello Heaven!
May I sit down
beside you...

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  1. Date: 3/22/2009 2:45:00 PM
    Beautiful with the title but the form is Free Verse. A Haiku is 3 lines but Line 1 has 5 syllables, Line 2 has 7 syllables and Line 3 has 5 syllables. If it is about human behavior it is called a Senryu, if it is about nature it is a Haiku. The Forms are shown under Resources in the left hand column of the screen. I've learned so much here at the Soup and there are way too many forms to try to learn them all!! Good luck and I hope you don't mind my comment!!

  1. Date: 3/22/2009 11:06:00 AM
    a sweet little poem, we are all welcome to sit near heaven and when God calls us home you will walk through his gates into his beautiful kingdom, thanks for your feed back on my poem cherish, and as you are a fellow poet and now a friend on here in writing you are now in my thoughts, in my heart and very much in my prayers God bless from diane

  1. Date: 3/21/2009 5:42:00 AM
    isn't that a cute ... ~ Arany

  1. Date: 3/21/2009 1:23:00 AM
    Well since I'm heaven, you certainly may..LOL..J/K~...Nice creation here,...Inspiring thought...sitting close to heaven is nice but just between you and me- I would want to be sitting inside heaven... :) GB and best wishes, Tyesha

  1. Date: 3/20/2009 6:16:00 PM
    Interesting perspective in this concise poem. Thanks for making me smile with this scene. Best wishes with your writing. Karen