Sometimes I feel clueless and undesirable.
Like I’m not good enough for anyone but the devil.
And even he doesn’t accept me.
I feel I don’t belong anywhere.
That my friends don’t care.
That my teachers underestimate me.
Yet my parents overestimate my knowledge and ability.
And everybody wonders about my sanity.
Weather I’m right in the head
Wrong in the heart
And how do I tell them that they know the truth?
If they could just open their naïve eyes for just one minute.
Gaze into mine.
And ask how are you?
They would know automatically that when I say im fine, that im not fine.
That I’m dead inside
Ever so dead.
They can’t see that I’m lying to every single one of them
That they are bonded by lies
But they don’t want to hear the truth anyways.
It’s not like they want to hear my stories.
What I’ve been through
What I saw
What I’ve experienced.
They can’t handle the negative
But shouldn’t they know by my actions and thoughts?
Even though they can’t see me thinking,
They should see my thoughts surrounding my head.
Notice the swarm of madness circling my mind.
Hear it get faster..
Shouldn’t they be able to hear the pounding of footsteps that pain makes?
Why can’t they see the reflection that the mirror makes when I look in it?
Why can’t they stop looking at themselves and look at me?
Why do people pretend they know me?
Because the only thing they could know, they chose not to know.
Which holds the secret to why I hurt so bad.
And they don’t try to coax that hurt away.
Because they have secrets bundled up in their sock drawer.
Just like me.
Just like you.
Yet everyone can relate to that cold feeling of emptiness.