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I Hate The English Language

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Below is the poem entitled I Hate The English Language which was written by poet Wilfredo Derequito. Please feel free to comment on this poem. However, please remember, PoetrySoup is a place of encouragement and growth.

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I Hate The English Language

A friend advised "Cheer up, buddy, and don't be blue",
strange of him to say that just when I was feeling low.
I was thinking, what was so colorful about being sad,
only showed his English vocabulary was awfully bad.

"Don't vote for Obama, he is untested and green",
how come, I wondered, when he clearly got black skin.
It can't be that he descended from leaves or something,
darn it, I'm linguistically challenged and confused again.

Down with a flu virus I was told to take plenty of orange,
that crazy doctor must really be kinda stupid or dense.
He couldn't have meant dyeing my few remaining hair,
unless that weirdo was moonlighting as a hairdresser.

Once, running scared from a fight, I was called yellow,
I did not get it, maybe because I'm a Chinese mestizo?
At home my amazon wife who learned about the run-in
promptly served for dinner a whole piece of chicken.

"Why chicken," I asked, "when you know I'm a vegetarian?"
"You earned it, sissy, when away from that fight you ran!"
"You're deep," I said, "I don't get what you mean, honey,"
to which she replied "Just finish your dinner, turkey!"

Hm, different colors, then chicken followed by a turkey,
I'd never understand these things until my dying day.
Damn that English language putting me in this mess,
better shift to Arabic, Tagalog, French or Cantonese.

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  1. Date: 12/11/2008 8:10:00 AM
    Why do we park in the driveway and drive on the parkway? I say...great write that my dad would guffaw over, and I also say watch out for yellow snow...hehheee and P.S. nah nah I win this fight...me and Santa in the sleigh tonight! LOL

  1. Date: 11/10/2008 8:03:00 AM
    When I get mad I see red. Red Who? Now I'm confused. Do I have three mouses in my houses or three mice in my hice? How come we can see six deer and drink six beers? Why isn't it six deers or six beer. It's all Greek to me. God Bless. Vince

  1. Date: 11/7/2008 5:20:00 AM
    Or Spanish or French, for then I might understand a word or two. Oh you are in a silly mood with this one. But you are right - the English language can be so crazy confusing! Yes, I am actually agreeing with you. ~lol~ Love, Shar

  1. Date: 11/7/2008 3:27:00 AM
    lol, I have heard how hard this language is to learn with all the slang, thank goodness I learned it as a baby! My 6 yr old wants desperatly to learn chinese and Japanese...I think that's hard too! Languages are so hard! thanks for the laugh, as always, Kristin