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Aye Right
AYE RIGHT
Written 6 May 2008
So the guy
In the Right Guard advert
Has "had a bad day"?
Excuse me if I don't
Shed any tears
On this jumped-up eejit's behalf
A dressing down from the boss
When his powerpoint presentation
Doesn't go down well?
Try drawing the Nat King
With hungry kids to feed
A real living hell
A rogue tennis racquet
Sends a dummy's head spinning
In an embarrassing incident at the mall?
Try security guards
Turfing your gin-soaked carcass
Out in the rain
When you try to kip in their hall
A key breaking in the door
So his night of passion
With a beautiful bird is put on hold?
Still much better than
A sherman over the Daily Star
And the worst imagineable paper cut
On one of the folds
I wonder how this idiot
Would deal with genuine grief
And despair?
He'd need more than
A can of Right Guard
To stop the sweat from
Flooding everywhere
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