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Nightclub queue

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Below is the poem entitled Nightclub queue which was written by poet kevin mcallion. Please feel free to comment on this poem. However, please remember, PoetrySoup is a place of encouragement and growth.

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Nightclub queue

Standing near the front of the queue
The boy rehearses his lines
"Just three or four pints"
Over and over again in his head

Focussing on every step
That takes him to the inquisitor
Stray too far to the left or right
And there's no way back

Behind him, the underage drinker
Tries his best to blend in
Three years underage but 
Looking sharp in his best togs

"Play it cool," he says to himself
But the doubts creep in
As butterflies mingle with 
The Merrydown in his gut

Further back, a girl peers
Into her make-up mirror
As she tries to remove the traces of vomit
From that alleyway spew

The icy wind drags its nails
Through her ample bare skin
But it fails to break her concentration
There's drinking to be had

The guy behind can't help but admire
As she bends over to dab
Chilli sauce off her high heels
With a Johnson's baby wipe

With girls like this around
He will surely add another 
Notch to his bedpost
By the breaking of the light

A more miserable night beckons
For the punter round the corner
As a half-empty bottle of beer
Smashes full in his face

As the perpetrator takes flight
With an impressive turn of pace
His victim crashes to the ground
And awaits the siren's call

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  1. Date: 8/26/2008 1:19:00 PM
    the nightlife can be a good and a bad thing some people just don't know when to say when, nice write, D-nyce

  1. Date: 8/25/2008 6:21:00 AM
    Wow. A darker look here into the nightlife. Quite sad and very well expressed. Thanks for letting me know about your other poem. Glad it was more imagination. Take care. Love, Shar