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Michelle Boitumelo Mhlanga Poem
I never knew how it felt like
being emotionally and physically
abused until the day you
stepped in to my life. The early
months of this relationship
were amazing, it felt like heaven,
some how I knew I had fallen in
love with an amazing man, or so
I thought.
But there started to be rules,
me restricted contact with my
male friends, I took it lightly at
first, until the day I spent time
with Clinton at the park and
you came rushing, at that time I
knew I had to tell him to leave
or there would be trouble, he
left.
You hit my leg several times, it
was painful, as though I was
been hit by a brick, you grabbed
me by my tummy and started
squeezing me so hard, it's sad
how I couldn't defend myself, I
was powerless, you had all the
power over me.
Many contacts were removed
from my phone, now talking to
a guy was considered a sin in
your mind, I couldn't talk to no
one. Even some of my
girlfriends, I was not allowed to
spend time with them, that's
how much of a selfish man you
were, I just don't get the fact
how you failed to understand,
my friends were in my life
before you.
And then came a day where you
found pictures of me and
Dumisani, we were at your
place, in your room, you slapped
me so hard 2x on the face
without even hearing my story,
it was painful, you continued
hitting me, I was in deep pain, I
felt it all over my body, and
then you had to top it up, you
hit my nose with a phone.
I will never forget that day, I sat
the whole day in your room
crying, I hated you, I wished all
sort of things bad could happen
to you, I wished you were dead
and most of all I wished I had
never met you. You were now
my worst nightmare, I was
never comfortable around you.
How did I end up with an arse
like you, I questioned myself.
I went to Nhlamu's one
saturday, I spent the entire day
there, you came drunk in the
evening, and you insisted I was
going to your place with you, I
said no, and you left, then you
decided to come back, you
called for me, I came out and
then you started dragging me
down the stairs, I screamed for
I was in pain.
People came out to help, you
left, after a while you came
back, only this time you brought
my clothes, I don't know what
you had done to them, they
were all covered in dirt and
they were wet.
Why would God give me you of
all men in this world? Why?
I wished you could change, but I
understood one thing, it was
not my place to change you,
Only God could do so.
Remaining with you for the sake
of changing you through
positive influence was a
misguided perspective that was
certain to fail, it had placed me
in suffering that was not
required or expected of me.
But in the end, the excuses used
to continue a hurtful
relationship fall short. One day I
will leave, and it will be for good,
for I don't understand why I'm
still with you, when there are
many men out there, good men
who want a chance with me.
I'm tired of your sorries, they
are sad and depressing, let's
admit it, you don't deserve me.
Copyright © Michelle Boitumelo Mhlanga | Year Posted 2013
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