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Goldie Uttamchandani Poem
After dark I feel
The need to be awake
In the forbidden world
The world that shows
Me my mirror
Of hope, despair, glory
A true story
After dark civilization goes to bed
Primitiveness reigns away
The ugly looks beautiful
And all are in unison
Riches and rags
Virgin to whore
We all go through
The same door
After dark the sun retires
The moon prevails
With a thousand blind eyes
One sees it all
One hears it all
Tomorrow?
Denial
After dark sounds sound
Sounder
Louder
Sharper
The dark darkness
Brighter
After dark emptiness befriends
Intoxicating booze
Lighter spirit
Gently infused
Bottled up emotions
The bottle helps …
To confess
Copyright © Goldie Uttamchandani | Year Posted 2013
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Goldie Uttamchandani Poem
Our eyes meet and then shy
His breath draws closer to mine
Tingling currents
Down my spine
Lips caress and glide
Soft pecks move on to slide
Hands lock into mine
Warm rays of sunshine
May I?
A virgin canvas am I
Slow brush
A stroking touch
Short peck
Colour my neck
Oscillating heart beat
No feeling below my feet
Whispers of heat
Crawling goose bumps
Peppermint sweet
The clocks have stopped
The world is still
Tongues intertwine
Slow sips of wine
I cling onto my lifeline
It’s pure
It’s perfect
This
The butterfly effect
Copyright © Goldie Uttamchandani | Year Posted 2013
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Goldie Uttamchandani Poem
Capuccino tinted dermis
Button nose
Velvet strokes
Soft apple cheeks
Plump
Pink
I watch and think...
Forehead
Framed by feathers of slate
Tresses of ash
Each decadent lash
Never ending
Sweeping long
Across each almond
Eye blink
I watch and think...
A nest of hair
Powdery black
Waves of dark
A cushion of black ink
I watch and think...
Sparkling glitter drips from those eyes
You grip me with your ties
A smile to mesmerize
The perfect sunrise
"I love you Mama"
A cheeky wink
I watch and think...
Your laughter infects the skies
Cloudy blues turn to bright highs
A voice that heals
A void that fills
Sweet nothings
That's the thing
I watch...
I think...you are my everything
Copyright © Goldie Uttamchandani | Year Posted 2013
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Goldie Uttamchandani Poem
The first to wake
Another day
Another show
Boom boom, shake shake
Sleepy yawns
Wakey wake
Supermarket run
I used to find them so much fun
Until she decided to scream and shout
Bring it on girl
Loud and all out
I’ll just go and hide on my cloud
Ready steady bake
Last to eat the cake
“Have you had some Mum?”
No darling, you take
Mechanical moves
Automated mind
Generally
I don’t mind
I’d like for you to shed me
Some kind
Spend some time
To simply find
It’s healthy at times to be blind
I push, I pull
Kids to school
I wish I were just
Horizontal in a pool
I could just walk out
“No mum that’s not cool”
Would I be such a fool?
But I’m the queen you know
I make the rules
The irritating whining song
A bell at the door
Ding-dong
I really need a manicure; it’s been so long
Door again
Ting tong
“What took you so long?”
I’m sorry
I was busy window-shopping in Hong Kong
“Where’s my glove mum?”
Deep breathes, play dumb
“Where’s my recorder mum?”
One, two, three
Numb numb
“Sweetheart bring me the remote”
Here darling, stick it up your bum
The first to wake
The first to leave home
I want to be first in bed some days
To sit around and just laze
I need a haircut, some highlights
“Are you listening mum?”
Always!
Copyright © Goldie Uttamchandani | Year Posted 2013
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Goldie Uttamchandani Poem
Some days are not meant for sharing
Monday, Tuesday and then Myday
Tick tock I spend my time alone
Silence cures me
Therapeutic for my bones
Coffee shop corner
Sip the caffeine
Absorb the feeling
The feeling of knowing
I’m thinking, filtering, analysing
Shush! I'm just being
Alone but not lonely
Conversing with myself
Debating with my mind
Patiently quiet I detach
Noise around
Block it out
Turn off the lights
Dark and soothing
Meditation can be so sexy
So alluring
I run alone in the mountains
Trees and leaves
Keep me company
Along with the cool breeze
I feel they talk to me
Sometimes they tease
I like to be in my cloister
Wrapped up cosy in my paraffin wax
I reflect on the cracks
Cracks only I can heal
Only I can feel
Some days are just not meant for sharing
I want to indulge in exile
Please let me be for a while
I’ll surface when I want to
You should try it
If you want to
Copyright © Goldie Uttamchandani | Year Posted 2013
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Goldie Uttamchandani Poem
That stupid smile of yours
I didn’t know then, of course
An unstoppable force
You entered my perfectly stable life
Uninformed
Unexpected
Uninvited
Vulnerable and raw
You walked into my chest
I could no longer rest
I tried my best
You have some cheek
Some zest
It can hurt some days
Inevitable pleasure it pays
I used to think it could just be
A Phase
No more as I just
Live in a daze
A maddening craze
An irritating tickle
Your ability to
Make me giggle
You say so little
A penny I’ll give you
A nickel
Deep thoughts give away so little
Spellbound
I’m left dumbfound
My game we play
Your rules to obey
So many words
So little to say
A senseless touch
It feels more than much
A fictitious kiss
Can reach heights of apotheosis
Can this be real?
I wonder when I wake up
How will I feel?
Copyright © Goldie Uttamchandani | Year Posted 2013
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Goldie Uttamchandani Poem
You bring out the best in me
You test me
You protect me
You strangle me
But I like… you and me
Why?
You have taught me to cry in my sleep
Punched laughter in my dreams
Kicked my patience till I scream
You and me… such extremes
Why?
We agree to often disagree
We share to then break free
Toxic silences fill our spaces
One embrace
I’m yours again
Why?
I sometimes feel crippled
Held down… weighted
You are right
But nor am I wrong
Why?
Poison words
Thrown at my face
I listen and swallow
Weep inside my clinical hollow
Why?
I’m tired
Powerless
You exhaust me
And then…
Inject your drug
Why?
Because I love you
Copyright © Goldie Uttamchandani | Year Posted 2013
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Goldie Uttamchandani Poem
Emotions controlled
Aching for your hold
Stand back
I cannot
Cannot allow
Temptation I behold
Deep in your eyes
I read the truth
Heat rising
Stirring pleasure
Inviting treasure
Ions of energy between us
Entrap me closer
Cajoling gaze
Pulsating flames run through my veins
Delete
Erase...
All waves of hunger
Splashing desires crushed away
Washed away
I can't
It's wrong
A forbidden wish
A perverted anguish
Void
Vacant
Echoes bounce off my soul
Confused I stand tall
What if...
I wonder
If only...
I wonder
Surrender
Copyright © Goldie Uttamchandani | Year Posted 2013
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Goldie Uttamchandani Poem
I can carry them, a few more minutes and I'll be able to put them down
The weight of the bags is slitting through my fingers
Carving dents of pain
I'm hurting but the chill in the air tightens my hands
Purple soon appearing
I know this purple, it chokes me stiff
Sedates me slowly
Bleeding sorrow from within
Crowds of congestion pollute my lungs
Poignant noises cause aching ears
Cutting glances blur my vision
Hearts of ice stab me cold
My body stops with a jolt
Bags down, weight off
Arms dangle defeat
Shoulders slouching failure
Enough!
I think I've given up
Puppet me close to a bench
Hold my hand, pull my torso
Wrap me tight
Hug my fears
Tear away my tears
I'm shouting for help
Why can no one hear my yelp?
One more am I
One more tear stain gone dry
One more day goes by
One more scream
A muted goodbye.
Copyright © Goldie Uttamchandani | Year Posted 2013
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Goldie Uttamchandani Poem
Have you ever jumped in and out of your skin?
Found yourself on top of a hill with no shade to stand under, the skin around your lips and eyes starts to crack and peel. Don’t you wish for one moment you could simply have a hand to cover the glare and give you a screen, to sooth them for just one instant and feel a breath of relief.
Have you ever bled without pain?
You are soiled red but the gates of pain are simply numb. You simply watch the drops stain. If only a hand could compress the hurt and brake the flow of this rouge river game.
Have you ever spat words of scorn? Only to discover it was a feeble attempt that bounced the daggers back at your wall of ice. They simply echo back, the acid splatters in your face. You regret what you said; you wish you were dead.
Have you ever defied your own line of fire? You’ve broken down your walls of guard and allowed trespassers to rape your morals. If only a hand could pull you back and tug you in, the rules you made would still be in.
Copyright © Goldie Uttamchandani | Year Posted 2013
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