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Best Jacob Cramer Poems

Below are the all-time best Jacob Cramer poems as chosen by PoetrySoup members

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Details | Jacob Cramer Poem

I Didn't Do My Math Homework

I didn’t do my math homework!
I watched T.V instead!
I better come up with an excuse... and quick!
Or else I’m surely dead!

My brother tore it!
It’s in the garbage!
Mom says it causes brain damage!

My power was out!
I had the flu!
I was having trouble excreting my poo!

You know, why even bother?
My excuses are so lame!
I know! My dog ate my homework!
Now to find a dog I can blame...


Details | Jacob Cramer Poem

I Just Can't Stand Poetry

I just can't stand poetry!
It badly boggles my brain!
I'm supposed to learn to rhyme!
But uck! You think I'm not sane?

I just can't stand poetry!
With its assonance and stuff!
"These three fleas fly in the breeze,"
I have really had enough!

I just can't stand poetry!
With metaphors I am through!
I'm becoming quite outraged!
A beast I'm turning into!

I just can't stand poetry!
Using similes? The worst!
I think we both can agree,
it's like being in jail! But worse!

I just can't stand poetry!
Personification's dumb!
I think my head will explode!
BOOM! Oww... that wasn't so fun!

I just can't stand poetry!
But I HAVE TO preach it... Grr!
I wish I had not applied
To be an English teacher!


Details | Jacob Cramer Poem

High School in Vers Libre

Make it

Or Break it

That's High School for Ya'


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Mickey Mouse

Legendary star Mickey Mouse
Lives with his pals in a clubhouse!
Say he lost his journal filled with 
doodles.
All he has to do is scream “Oh 
Toodles!”


Details | Jacob Cramer Poem

I Ate a Purple Jelly Bean

I ate a purple jelly bean
after my lunch one day!
But I accidently swallowed it whole
so my mom called the doc right away!

He told her I'd be fine,
just give it some time!
He also prescribed me some strange-looking
sour, acidic, Calamondin limes!

Apparently these limes
would make the pain go away.
But honestly all they did for me
was give me facial expressions that were crazy!

After the limes, I went to get a drink
to wash the taste out of my mouth.
Unfortunately, when I went to get a drink
I tripped on my kitten's pet mouse!

So far it had been a terrible day!
Horrid, I tell you! Horrid!
I don't want to know what'll happen next!
I think I'll just go to bed!


Details | Jacob Cramer Poem

I Think My Brother's A Werewolf

I think my brother’s a werewolf!

It’s hard to believe but so true!

At dusk he is like a great beast!

He’s hairy and scary; bearded too!


He’s never around in the daytime.

He sneaks out with a creepy girl.

I have a feeling that someday,

she’ll eat his gross flesh... and then hurl!


I see red bumps on his forehead

that count the days ‘till a full moon.

I sure hope he’s not contagious!

Or I’ll be a werewolf quite soon!


Scratching his head doing homework!

Wetting his bed while he’s asleep!

These are just a few of the signs

proving that he’s a monstrous creep!


I went to my mother and told her

about my brother superbly.

Then she giggled and simply said,

“Dear, he’s going through puberty!”


Details | Jacob Cramer Poem

I Was Wrong

At five, I stole your teddy bear
Chopping the head off and cutting all its hair.
As teens, I posted a picture
Which made you become rather unpopular.
When grown, I crashed your brand new car
An accident which I made you pay all for.
Now old, I wish I could've been
There for you all those times like you were for me.


Details | Jacob Cramer Poem

Flounder From the little mermaid

I am Flounder, wild and young.
I flap my fins and love to have fun.
And sometimes when I eat bad algae,
I make the water a little bit bubbly!


Details | Jacob Cramer Poem

What is this feeling

What is this feeling?
This strange, awkward sensation?
Oy vey! I'm in love!


Details | Jacob Cramer Poem

Gone

Animals all gone.
Hope has left this place as well.
Not a thing stirring.

It's nothing. Nada.
Not a light in city.
There is no city.

What is the cause of
this this terrible disaster?
One. Stupid. Mistake


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