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Summer Gratias Poem
The cracked spine of
the book I dropped
at the call.
A chip in my
windshield left by a
pompous *?#@! in a
red sports car as I
drive to the
service.
Rain expectorating
from an ashen sky as
the dirt is turned.
Today is terrible.
Though this is less
terrible than the
crack in grandma’s
spine from her fall
down the stairs.
The chip in her
amazingly smart mind
after eighteen years
as a teacher.
Tears running,
dripping from my
Mothers ashen face
as she cries “My
mama’s dead.”
Today is terrible.
Though this is less
terrible than the
cracked family
emotions left raw
and empty.
The chip in Grandpas
numb mind at the
gathering… “Where is
Irene she should be
here?”
Faces gone ashen
with dread, do we
leave him numb or
remind him that his
wife is dead?
Today is terrible.
Though this is less
terrible than the
empty silences,
missing the jokes
Grandma used to
crack.
Grandma’s laugh and
her endless smile
which always exposed
that tooth with the
chip in it.
Without her the
world has become
empty, bleak, and
ashen.
Today is terrible.
Summer
Gratias
Copyright © Summer Gratias | Year Posted 2011
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Summer Gratias Poem
My joy at its best, my hurt at its worst.
My joy at your conception and my belly swelling.
My hurt at your birth with waves of contractions.
My joy at your first steps in those booties I knitted.
My hurt as you fell down and bumped your head.
My joy at your first word spoken mama.
My hurt when we argued about a sleepover and you cried I hate you.
My joy over your first report card with all the A’s.
My hurt when you were expelled from eighth grade for possession.
My joy when you took responsibility young man and changed your ways.
My hurt as you leaned on my shoulder and cried over losing your first love.
My joy in your pride after working the summer to buy your first car.
My hurt that you are no longer my little baby but a young man.
I am forever a woman in motherhood,
My joy at its best and my hurt at its worst.
Summer Gratias
Copyright © Summer Gratias | Year Posted 2011
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Summer Gratias Poem
I love you for being my husband.
I thank you for all your love.
I thank you for being there,
A special person sent from above.
I thank God for sending you to me,
For giving me a life with you.
And our children he entrusted me.
Your acceptance, guidance and care,
Given so unconditionally.
Together with my love and certainty,
Give us so much to share.
I feel a special bond not there before.
It gets stronger every day.
Making within me such awesome happiness,
My heart longs to soar.
I know that I am not always perfectly undoubting.
We both have our failures and imperfections.
I think, however, our short comings and trials
Build between us stronger connections.
I believe that God has brought us together,
Because each has a lot to offer the other.
You, as the father and husband,
And me, as the wife and mother.
Summer Gratias
Copyright © Summer Gratias | Year Posted 2011
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Summer Gratias Poem
The words of a heart felt letter "I love you I didn’t do it", fading into ashes.
The flames of the hostile words "I know you did it, admit it slut" devouring and edging the pain.
I stand, broken in shattered bits, my heart washed away by the rain.
Words of love actions of hate, "Drew don’t you see that it clashes?"
It is done it is over, turn by turn a wave of relief then despair over me crashes.
Mine, yours, ours, words of love, amore’ it is now my bane.
This heart of mine traveling a one way street in reverse, in the wrong lane.
Togetherness taken for granted in its death throes our relationship thrashes.
The wrath within loosed on a dying soul.
Eternity of blackness snuffs out loves last flicker.
This barrage is not you speaking but the words of your mistress Meth.
Venom of anger and distrust conjured by your other love has taken its toll.
Seething eyes burn me, his stinging tongue whips me with one last snicker.
My affection crumpled my heart empty, descending, and falling, fading, death.
Summer Gratias
Copyright © Summer Gratias | Year Posted 2011
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Summer Gratias Poem
There’s a girl, sitting at the back of the bar.
Waiting for a glimpse of the life that she’s always wanted.
She’s not looking for a fairy tale or gold.
Just a little work, and some love not from the usual mold.
He walks in with promises, ending in heartbreak and tears.
She drowns him out slowly, with new dreams and a few beers.
The girl sitting at the back of the bar.
Waiting for a glimpse of the life she’s always wanted.
Two years have passed, not much has changed.
She still comes each week to sit at her corner table.
Some work, many dreams, and a few beers become her label.
The women all judge her inside their private mind.
Small town men buy her a drink, wink and smile, but aren’t her kind.
The girl sitting at the back of the bar.
Waiting for a glimpse of the life she has always wanted.
She has big dreams of life, love, and the woman that she wants to be.
I sit across the bar, wishing she’d look just once more to me.
I turned my back, messed up not long ago.
She told me that she loved me, but she had to go.
I failed to show her my love, I’d hurt her badly.
Breaking her heart blindly, while loving her madly.
That girl sitting at the back of the bar.
Waiting for a glimpse of the life that she has always wanted.
Pulling the ring from my pocket, my jaw stubbornly clenching.
I push through the crowded room, and voice my intention.
Dear Beth, I will love you forever. I’m down on my knees!
Just give me one last chance, and marry me please.
That was two years ago yesterday.
And still my love grows more every day.
For the girl sitting at the back of the bar.
Waiting for a glimpse of the life she has always wanted.
As I nod and thank the bar tender, and add to his tips.
I pick up two drinks, turn to the back of the bar, a smile on my lips.
Cause there is my girl, sitting at the back of the bar.
Living the dreams of the life that she’s always wanted.
Summer Gratias
Copyright © Summer Gratias | Year Posted 2011
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Summer Gratias Poem
Have you slowed your busy pace to take notice of a drop of rain?
As the sun glints through it, do you see its natural and quiet beauty?
Becalm your soul in the exquisite burst of color from a leaf after autumn’s first kiss.
Have you tuned your ear to the fall of the first snowflake of winter?
Become mesmerized by the quiet order in natures every soft footfall?
As the season’s tiptoe past, do you draw inspiration, or blindly immerse yourself in the bland cares and concerns of your daily rush?
Grinding your soul into nothingness on the treadmill of society’s thoughtless whims.
Imprisoned in a self-made sightless box of disregard.
Your spirit slowly snuffed out without so much as an objection to the lack of trial or jury.
Will you call a mistrial, or will you pray for a last minute death row pardon?
Have you betrayed your soul?
Summer Gratias
Copyright © Summer Gratias | Year Posted 2011
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Summer Gratias Poem
My small pristine flower, crushed while yet a bud.
My young innocence stripped, left trampled in mud.
Walk away. Collect your cash, no emotion for me.
Little body bruised, torn with blood. Drugged blind, you do not see.
Daddy, why did you do it and why don’t you care?
You helped them shred me, then turned away and left me bare.
I am only a small child. I am too weak to fight back.
Tied to a dens table, men’s eyes, hands grope, and lips smack.
Manhood against young maiden, tiny body burned by the rope.
This, a grand hellish party with drink and much dope.
Why do you abuse me, and just what have I done?
You began this cruel nightmare when I was but one.
Four years spread like thin butter, passed like a hat.
Left to fend for myself, a small, hungry, dirty stray cat.
For the rest of my life, I am damaged because of your sin.
Thirty one now, still, life is a night terror in which there are men!
Summer Gratias
Copyright © Summer Gratias | Year Posted 2011
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Summer Gratias Poem
It has been years of terror, pain, nightmarish hell!
Little girl in faded cast offs, shuffled from back room to main office.
Disembodied voices, cubicles, paperwork, a drab cell.
Letterhead, Department Of Children Services, an address and phone number.
Eyes suspicious, blond hair ragged. Nevada midsummer.
Woman, excruciatingly thin, pale, tired and sunken.
Child, fearful, nervous, confused emotions drunken.
Summer, its mama, please remember me.
Child, through fog of lies and time. A lonely little flicker, remembrance possibly?
Four years gone, milk carton child, young innocence stolen.
Home lost no more, hell traded for future gossamer dreams, golden.
Summer Gratias
Copyright © Summer Gratias | Year Posted 2011
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Summer Gratias Poem
Lonely and alone, single now with the children my only comfort and yet a reminder.
The divorce a tug of war between me and her for what once was mine, I thought.
My heart lies languid and still a deep dark mountain pool, without flutter or ripples.
The waves and white water emotions will come flooding in after dark.
Our little ones must not glimpse in me the ugly cuts and scars of your infidelity.
I force myself into our once cramped now too empty bed.
I can now cry quietly in solitude for love and affection like a wounded animal.
I silently scream to be touched, to be reached for, and to be desired.
I miss you I still love you I would forgive you I still want you, Joe where are you?
I hide in the shadows of my despair, dream of killing her, torturing painfully and slowly?
I’ll be gouging out her eyes with one degrading glare a smile and a snicker.
I’m gutting her slowly with only the nightly beckoning of my little finger.
A tryst in the Sykes parking lot in the back seat of our car inches from your son’s safety seat.
Pass a silent gift a potential killer and ruin her womanhood and child bearing potential, almost taking her life.
Rip apart her family with whispered AM phone calls and PM come hither stares.
Strip her self-esteem and ego depositing them without remorse in a blender set to puree.
I would do to her all that she has done to me and more, I am lonely, alone, single now and only them to thank.
Summer Gratias
Copyright © Summer Gratias | Year Posted 2011
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Summer Gratias Poem
I feel the rain pounding on my skin.
The cold creeps deeply into my very soul.
The storm clouds hang, blindingly dark and angry around my head.
Pain invades my mind and runs hot through my veins.
The anger resounds in my ears, my world spins and careens crazily out of orbit.
Sickness grows in the pit of my stomach.
Deep in my throat a scream gathers and builds.
It refuses to exit, no sound escapes my lips.
I feel it echo through me, creeping to my fingertips.
Coming back to reverberate with every throb of my heart.
The wind lashes my very being,
Whipping my covering to shredded bits.
I stand bare and naked before everyone.
Unveiled, and yet unseen by all.
My breath stabs me with every uneven gasp.
My thoughts grapple at my throat, draining away all resistance.
The ground lurches and fades from existence beneath me.
I fall, twisting and writhing in agony and turmoil.
I am crushed under the pain of uncertainty.
I doubt my very existence, tomorrow is today and yesterday is tomorrow.
There is no beginning and still there is no end.
Fading, swirling, and blurring together.
Copyright © Summer Gratias | Year Posted 2011
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