I sold my heart of gold
To the old man with a heart so cold.
Though it seemed I had sold my soul to the devil,
Truth be told, the old man was never evil.
"Which one of you books would like to be read?"
she creepily said, as she titled her head.
Music is my high,
Soda is my drink.
Sugar is my ecstacy,
Laughter is my drunkeness.
Anime is my anti-drug,
Strobe lighting is my LSD.
Dreaming is my hallucinogen.
Imagination is as psychedelic as I can get.
Being with family is when I'm as relieved as I can get.
Happiness is as sober as I can get.
Masturbation is as stimulated as I can get.
Orgasming is when I am as relaxed as I can get.
Poetry is my coping,
Art is my creative outlet.
Writing is my addiction,
Reading is my inhalation.
Exercise is my steroid,
Food is my shrooms,
Cooking is my sniff.
Gaming is as tripped out as I can get.
Being with friends is when I'm as hyped as I can get.
Depression is as down as I can get.
Inner strength is as strong as I can be addicted.
Internet browsing is as stoned as I can get.
Dancing is my adrenaline,
Overtiredness is my hangover.
Cake mix is my acid,
Sparkling juice is my booze.
Soberity is my perspective,
Shopping is my drug-dealing.
Healthy as can be, drugs not for me.
I hear the raindrops plop like the sound of a slot unlocked.
I fear the passing dusking as the days of the year leave.
Time is going by so slowly, so surely.
Time is flying by so quickly, so uncertainly.
I feel down as I let out a frown, hoping he cometh home soon.
I lay on the bed as if I am dead, believing His cure shall be a boon.
Time is flowing on, even as my time is almost gone.
Time is going by so fatefully, so mysteriously.
In my heart there’s no longer
loneliness from longing for love.
Finally found someone to love,
but he is my silent sorrow manifest.
In my chest there’s still even now
a prolonging lonesomeness.
Finally found somewhere to live,
but it is my isolating incubation erect.
In my head there’s still me, myself,
and I comforting my lonely heart.
Finally found someway to befriend,
but they are my persona’s karma manifest.
In my soul there’s no longer
loneliness from longing for love.
Finally found some truth of whom I am,
but my heart’s still filled with loneliness.
Lord, I believe in You and myself,
With You I can do almost anything.
Even if I'm overweight...
I believe You'll keep me alive until the day
You want me back home with you.
I'm sorry for my sins
And all of us are imperfect humans:
Debating about beliefs, greedy thieves,
And everything else you hate.
So please forgive all of us and open the gate
To Your Heavenly Kingdom.
Have Your Son save us all.
Sometimes I believe I don't deserve You
And Your Promise for Eternity,
But Your Son's words reassure me.
I feel scared of the destruction in Your Revelation,
But remember You'll keep me safe
If I just forever keep my faith.
You are like the black to my white,
The darkness surrounding my light.
Like this world's spectrum of colours,
You are one of the many reasons why I choose to live out my life.
You are like the stars in the skies,
The Zodiac manifest right before my eyes.
Like how the dark veil envelops starlight,
You are one of all reasons why I can continue bearing to exist.
You are like a prism for my cosmic energy,
The kaleidoscopic reflection of all of my inner being.
Like how a ray of light becomes a rainbow,
You truly let me be me, in all my brilliance.
Like the stars in the Heavens,
We'll live our lives until we die and twinkle with all of our radiance.
My words may feel so cold,
Yet this feeling of falling and
Then trying to be so loving
Eventually misleads me to
Feeling like she or myself
Is gradually shoving my feelings
Through an invisible door.
It's all so not worth
Letting this sorrow corner me in,
My mind is wondering if I'm truly fine with
Having no one special in my own current life.
My reasons for trying to
Move onwards from there
Were nothing but idealized dreams
Turning into unpleasant realities.
Who knew that a few days
After those euphoric moments
I would be realizing that
The strings of my heart were pulled
By desires so unnecessary for healing
My own inner strife.
My words may have been so cold,
But it's only because this sorrow I go through
Will always continue beyond tomorrow.
You don't deserve being
My eternal object of depression,
Yet you are also even taking it
All too simply to be the object
Of my true love and affection.
My feelings from loving you
Were absolutely true,
But I now see I was so wrong
In believing in my own naïve thoughts.
So fleeting was the beautiful
Rendering of my soul,
Except that no one knew then
That it was only a game of pretend.
Wanting my first kiss returned,
Yet again I guess first can mean the worst,
So I guess I'll find someone
Who will become my second best.
After telling you I can't love you anymore,
I now feel as if I can finally rest.
My words were only so cold,
Because something in the depths of my heart
Was calling out to be heard.
In the end though I have released myself
From the bittersweet feelings I gained from
My voice and feelings that once were forsaken.
I'm sorry for being so cold.
No one knows how she envies
Those who live their dreams.
No one knows how her mind
Overflows with envy and sorrow.
No one knows how she truly feels…
Life's a show,
So when it ends,
We all have to let go.