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Football
Poem
Just like football I am waiting ,
Just like football I am waiting ,
on the side line,
To go up on the field,
Yes we are playing Goodooga,
Aboriginal big guys, tough as steel.
Here comes Albert racing faster,
Trotting down the bloody wing,
Gotta stop him, take him head on,
Hit his ankles, the hurting thing .
Fell him like a big old tree,
Pot belly lands on me ,
I’m a still a seeing stars,
Shadow sparring,
all round me ,
Get up you silly Galah.
So there I was out on the wing ,
Waiting for a pass to me.
Intercept, Albert's a coming ,
he passes ball, dodges see .
Just a few of broken arms,
Black eyes worn with pride.
Rugby Leage what a battle ,
Carry the ball through the other side.
Running for the other goal,
Sidestepped Albert, got there see.
Not a bloody forward pass, (illegal)
Planted it between the trees.
At 17 I was in an interstate game,
between Dirranbandi n Goodooga, we lost. (shame)
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Football
Poem
IN THE DENTIST'S CHAIR
IN THE DENTIST’S CHAIR
Lean back and just relax
Put on these protective glasses please
Injection - this will not hurt at all
He says in fluent dentist-speak
Man with goggles and mask like an alien
Probing me like an insect aboard a UFO
God I‘m starving - no breakfast
Oh , from the x-ray looks like
We need a couple of fillings
And It was cornflakes and fried eggs and bacon
I’m afraid it will cause some discomfort
But just relax
I look at the legs of his pretty assistant for comfort
I was afraid to come here at all
Delayed coming
Coward for pain in dentist’s chair
Put off and put off six months, till now -
April is the cruellest month*
Month of early cherries from Spain
And lettuce from the greenhouse
And a cucumber salad upon a table in the garden
Like a patient etherized upon a table*
As the alien probes my molars
And asks me about football on tv last night
Oh for a melon big as a football right now
Sold by the shop on the corner where the woman
Is so full-figured....watch her as she gives
Cucumber to another customer
Yes a bit of voyeurism sometimes is fun
Dental assistant’s legs show nice muscles
As she reaches up tip-toed for a tall
Pile of green plastic rinse-cups
Rather similar to a cucumber
I try to answer the football alien
With a mouth full of metal
I stutter and garble out a reply and the alien uh-huh s
Disinterested interest as they say
She looks into my face, concerned, and I am flattered
But she only sees my horrible decayed tooth
Unconcerned concern
Now spit, and again, rinse, spit
I am helpless like a beetle on its back
Wearing plastic goggles
Use this tissue
She’s so helpful, like mother
Don’t eat for six hours even if you have a good appetite
Oh those melons….appetite
I am a man of appetites
No ! I am not Leopold Bloom nor was meant to be*
My appetites are mostly for learning, for humor, for sorrow,
But maybe a melon tomorrow.
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
NOTE
*These lines are quotes from T S ELIOT and J JOYCE, both masters
of the stream of consciousness technique.
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Football
Poem
Celebration
In the year 2003
both Southern University
and Louisiana State University
won national football championships
A monster celebration followed
in downtown Baton Rouge
Broadcast live on local TV
The ceremony finale...
Both bands, in full costume dress
stood side-by-side together
and played a slow, majestic version
of our National Anthem...
Oh-say-does-that-star-spangled
banner-yet-waaaaave!!...
A three-second pause
(which seemed like an eternity)
O'er-the-land-of-the-freeeee!!...
The cameras scanned the audience...
People shedding tears;
overcome by emotion and pride
And-the-home-of-the...braaaave!!
The cheers and applause
shook the whole town...
***Southern University won the Black College Football National Championship that
year...their band is well-known and considered to be one of the best in the country...
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Football
Poem
A Religious Man
I sat in church listening to the preacher
Without hearing a single word he said
I was thinking about the football scores
And my favorite team instead
As they passed around the collection plate
I put my money in
Wondering just what was the going rate
To have God absolve you of your sin
When it came time to share a sign of peace
I turned to the pretty lady in the red dress
Giving her my most pious smile
Trying real hard to impress
I shook the preacher’s hand at the door
Saying I loved his sermon that day
Anxious to get out of my tie
And to be on my merry way
As I stopped at the traffic light
With the windows down in my new car
A homeless man walked up to me
And started talking real bizarre
He said, “You know there’s nothing special about Sundays
Nothing special about the building they call a church
By simply going through the ritual
You don’t improve what your soul is worth”
“If you would rather be watching football games
You can talk to me some other time when you are free
And twenty dollars in a collection basket
Doesn’t buy your soul out of poverty”
“That lady in the red dress
Is much too young for you
And you have to fix the relationship you are in
Before moving on to someplace new”
The cars were honking from behind me
Because the traffic light was green
I turned around to shout at them
Then turned back and that man was nowhere to be seen
I drove the rest of the way home in a haze
Wondering if I imagined the whole scene
But when I turned on the football game
That man was in a commercial on my screen
“So think about the words I said
And talk to me on your own time
In a location of your choosing
When you are in the right frame of mind”
“I am always available to hear you
And provide guidance along the way
But the outcome of these football games
Is not a thing for which to pray”
So, I gave up church on Sundays
And I donate to other charities instead
And today I am a more religious man
Always conversing with God inside my head
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Football
Poem
Enjoy the Game
Super Bowl Sunday is finally here
same excitement as Staubach and Griese
drinkers have an excuse to drink more beer
today’s Super Bowl not sure if I’ll see
the Super Bowl is much more than a game
those commercials bring excitement also
Fritos and Pepsi will also get fame
for many the game is the only show
I’ve have been to two Super Bowl parties
last one was the Chargers and the Niners
I worked those Mondays without a tardy
I’m not granddad I’m not with those miners
so eat drink and enjoy the game today
once the work week starts there is no more play
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Football
Poem
Princesses
Pretty princesses
Dancing all around
Frolicking through fields
Very beautiful
Just like you!
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Football
Poem
Big Football Fan
Just like the football I am
small on the ends and big in the middle.
Sharp as a tack and fit as a fiddle,
seventy four (in the waist) and can still bounce back.
Of course it’s pretty hard on the sacroiliac .
I think my shape is no big concern.
Some say, I look like a pregnant earth worm.
I’m bald on my head and have hair ‘tween my toes.
I shave with lectric scissors,
but, sweetheart I braid the hair in my nose.
Now, I do pluck those awful ones growin’ out my ears
cause when I turn sideways, heck
If I’m too close to you they might wrap around your neck.
Then where would I be with a obeasty charge to cover.
Shucks, I ain’t no beast, I’m a lover.
and I play football, when I get a dare.
© Steal this one, I don’t care.
cgh for Kristen Bruni’s “football” contest
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Football
Poem
My Pastimes
Twelve was the number Roger Staubach worn.
Eight was the number Carl Yastrzemski wore.
When they played I needed lots of popcorn
Watching them play was something to adore
They were yesterday’s players which I miss
Today there is so much coverage to watch
I watch sports instead of trading a kiss
Its poetry and sports I’m out of scotch
Baseball has always been my favorite
Next comes football and then there’s basketball
If the Red Sox are on in front I’ll sit
I’ll watch all sports played with a ball
Poetry and sports those are my pastimes
I’m involved with them instead of hard crimes
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Football
Poem
Another Football Sunday
For sixteen Sundays during the autumn season,
millions are glued to the TV for a reason.
Football must be a way of life, it seems.
Sitting in their living rooms, they are cheering for their teams.
Why sit in the stands where you have to warmly dress?
You spend lots of money, and freeze your butt off in the process.
During those cold days, there is no need to roam.
We can see the game in the comfort of our home.
Get out the pretzels, potato chips, soda, and beer.
Invite all the friends and neighbors. We will have a party here.
The offense is out to score points in an attack.
The defense is trying to bury the quarterback.
Each team spends sixty minutes, or four quarters on the field.
Until it’s over, we don’t know the outcome it will yield.
Whether they win or lose, it does not matter anyway.
It is time to have some fun on another game day.
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Football
Poem
Six Man Dance
Out in small town Texas, a handshake is a deal
You go to church on Sunday, say grace at every meal
Men open doors for ladies, kids say sir and ma'am
Boys can't wait to join the Corps, and serve their Uncle Sam
But if you were to go there, come autumn Friday nights
The place might be deserted, when the whole darn town unites
Upon a spread of hallowed ground, a grassy green expanse
To celebrate their civic pride and watch the six man dance
Now this dance is not for sissies, and I think you would agree
If you knew a bit about a man by the name of Jack Pardee
Yep, they call it six man football, and they don’t get much acclaim
They don't play for scholarships; but for the glory of the game
Three up front and three in back, any lad can be the man
To pass or catch or run the ball, and kick it if he can
A first down costs you fifteen yards; a field goal gets you four
You’ll hardly wait two minutes there before another score
Because for those without some speed, this game is not contrived
And if one team can't keep it up, they might get forty-fived
That's what they call the mercy rule, 'cause scoring is so fast
No point in running up the tab when one team is outclassed
So if you want a taste of life the way it used to be
Where people pull together and kids can still run free
And there’s a game where little fellers surely stand a chance
Drive out to small town Texas, and watch the six man dance
Click "About this poem" above the title to see the notes.
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