If I had a bottle of pills
I’d dump them out inside my mouth
Take the last few swigs of vodka
And swallow all of them down
If I had a big sharp knife
I’d drag the cold steel across my skin
If I thought for a moment it might
Bring this feeling to an end
I’d stare down the barrel
If I had a gun
Find the trigger with my finger
Pull it and be done
If I had a car
I’d park inside the garage
Leave the motor running
Till the poison filled my lungs
If I had a rope
I’d make myself a noose
Dangle there in my own doorway
Till somebody cut me loose
If I had someone to love
I'd probably treat them bad
Since that's all that I've known
In relationships of the past
If I had a heart in my chest
I'd be able to forgive and forget
But there is nothing left
Of that beating mass of flesh
So I'll just continue
Sitting all alone and in the dark
A typical evening in with the cat
Doesn't seem that bad after all.
He was my best friend
His name was Snoopy
He was a beagle
My favorite pet.
I got him on Christmas day
He was just a little pup
I loved him so much
Then God took him away.
He was out hunting
He never came back
He was gone
Just like that.
I wonder every day
Where is he
I still miss him so
I cry at night
from his abc's
to that freaky billy jean
came a pop star
for all to love and see
from the apollo's stage
wondered if you were ready for screaming rage
for you never had a childhood of bliss
only done what was on joseph's list
a studded white glove
and white socks just because
a star on the hollywood walk of fame
for you sang and danced showing no shame
scandals of twisted truth
did not detour you from your missing youth
neverland was your own safari escape
who would figure your best friend would be a chimp of faith
michael may god cradle you in his arms
and basked in your king of pops worldly charm
will forever miss that porcelain smile
and always think of you on my radio dial
for now your at your heavens trial
may god forgive this lost and lonely child
In Loving Memory Of
Michael Joseph Jackson
Aug 29th 1958 - June 25th 2009
In loving memory of Jones,
The best duck I've known.
My pet and friend since I was four.
For a bird, he was dear;
I wish he was here
So that he and I could do more.
Some sounds like the noise of bees
Hovering around the atmosphere
Or like rain drops on our roof tops,
I opened my round window
The window of my hut,
I wanted to know
Why my sleep won't mellow,
All i saw was sorrow
As the atmosphere turned green.
The cassava farm was over shadowed
Banana plantation feebled,
Apple orchard struggled
Yet their efforts stifled,
Lemon grass for mama's herb withered,
Rose flower shattered and our
Groundnut farm tattered.
Suddenly,the green army fled,
Tears exuded from my eyes
As i sputtered in pain,
Mother filled with melancholy,
Father tore his heart in grief
Villagers hope captured and crippled,
So their travail displayed as
Everyone mourned over
The locust plaque.....
BY: CHARLES MELODY (LIGHTNING INK).
Oh lonely Inevitable Bear,
Padding claws, death in white
Sorrow in recurring nightmare
Instinct’s test; fight or flight?
Camouflage against the fence,
A challenge; my subconscious fear
Ominous slowly moving silence,
“Let me in, there’s a bear out here!”
I find it strange coming home
and not seeing you this evening
I know I shall never see your eyes again
but I shall always feel their gaze
anytime thoughts of you come to my mind
I can still hear your pitiful moan
the first day I kept you in the kennel
Forgive me for not realizing
that a spirit like yours
was not meant to be caged
After you were set free
how different and alive you looked
jumping around in the yard
with those precise energetic leaps
So goodbye my little Gypsy
I shall never see you again
but you will always dwell
in that secret spot in my heart
Thank you for the beauty
you brought into my life
November 4, 2013
The thought of you makes me feel choked
Speaking your name is like swallowing glass
If you were in my arms you would be blood soaked
The foul memories of you never pass
You did nothing good for me
Made me feel like i was rotting inside
I tore out my eyes cause you were all i could see
I wanted to kill you, so i tried
You filled my mind with corrupt thoughts
Forced me to say lies like "love you lots"
But my hate for you, you can never comprehend
I want to watch your pain never end
Why do you keep me here tormenting me
Cant you see what you did to me
Why do you act like you did nothing to make my heart sore
I hate you so what am i here for
You took away everything i ever cared for
I will hate you in my heart to the very core
I want to spill your guts on the floor
Because every day i hate you more and more!
I was your puppy
I licked your face
you loved to walk me
and sometimes we'd race
I was your puppy
slept in your bed
you'd rub my belly
and pat my head
I was your puppy
I loved you so
now I'm alone
where did you go
I'm an old dog now
and growing older
the nights are cold
and getting colder
no more licks upon your face
no more sleeping in your bed
no more belly rubs
no pats on the head
I hear a puppy bark
I'm lonely out here in the dark
I guess there is no room for me
alone I'll die chained to this tree
your hearts just too small for puppy and me
He stood and aimlessly watched the parade of patrons and volunteers that wandered daily past his kennel. All so familiar, so ordinary. Just like every other day he mused. Nothing new. Nothing special.
Moving to the small crumpled blanket near the back of his cage, he turned several times and finally curled up, head on his paws, positioned so that he could watch the activity around him. But in reality, he was bored. It had been a long time since he had met each morning with anticipation. Too many days. Too much disappointment. He would leave all that barking and racing to the front of their cage to the younger pups who hadn’t figured out yet that the cute ones went first. It didn’t really make any difference what you did to attract attention if you weren’t young or cute, or both.
Too much time had gone by to participate in the charade. In reality, Walter had seen a lot of people that he would rather not spend a lot of time with. You know the type. Kind of hyper, bouncing from stray to stray, looking for a perfect dog. Kids poking their fingers through the kennel screen or banging on it. Some even making barking sounds. He didn’t need any of that and was glad when they were gone.
Walter was very picky. Set in his ways after so many years. He had had it good for a long time. An only dog in a household of two people that let him be himself. No tricks. No stunts. Just long naps and daily walks. A yard to himself to reflect on what was for dinner. He had been fond of his doggy bed in their bedroom. Each night he would help his owner walk through the house turning off the lights and checking the doors before they climbed the stairs together. And there was always one last good night pat before settling down.
But those days were gone now. First one had become ill and went to the hospital and never came back. The other one changed overnight, spending long days, sitting mostly. The walks became less frequent. Walter did what he could. He could see it in their eyes that they were hurting from their loss. He would make a point of laying his head in their lap, trying to let them know that he missed them too. At times like this, he instinctively knew that although it remained unsaid, they only had each other.
He remembers well the day that his owner snapped a leash on him and said, “well Walter, I’m afraid we have to say goodbye. I have to go to a place where they won’t let me keep you, so I am going to have to let you go.” Walter could see the tears in his eyes. He knew it would do him no good to whine or resist. It was obvious there were no alternatives. And besides, it would just make it harder on his owner. But he was going to miss him. It was not going to be easy to adjust.
But adjust he did. He had been here a long time now and had seen countless pups and dogs trot past his cage with light hearts and new owners, heading off with new found hopes and expectations. But it soon became obvious that there weren’t a lot of people that wanted an old yellow hound. Everyone wanted the young ones. So here he lay, dozing a bit, but still keeping an eye on those walking by, many giving him but a glance before moving on.
He heard them before the saw them. ”Honey” the voice said. ”That looks like Walter, old Mr. Whitney’s dog.” Walters ears perked up a little. ”Do I know them” he thought. ”They seem to know me”. I’d better go take a closer look” and with that, he stood and slowly ambled toward his kennel gate, giving a cautious wag of his tail.
“It is him” the man said. ”Walter, how you doing boy? Do you remember me?”
And upon closer inspection, Walter did remember him. He used to live right across the street. He would see him in his yard and if Walter were to ramble over, he usually had a dog treat in his pocket. With the recognition, Walter gave a little stronger wag and moved toward the fingers extended through the fencing. It was good to see an old friend.
“What do you say hon” the man said. ”How would you feel about bringing Walter home with us?”
Walter looked at the woman and saw her nod in agreement. ”You wait here and I’ll go find a volunteer.”
The man bent down and said “What do you think Walter? Would you like to go home with us?”
Actually, Walter decided, he could think of nothing he would like more. A chance to go back to the old neighborhood with people he already knew. What was there not to like.
Soon the woman returned and the gate opened. A leash was snapped on Walter and together they proceeded past the rows of dogs and puppies, all vying for their attention. Walter couldn't help but stand a little straighter, stepping a little more lightly, showing off. ”This is what going home looks like guys.” he thought. ”Good luck and goodbye”.
As they neared the car the man said “I can’t believe we found you Walter. There is someone I am going to take you to see. I can’t wait to see the expression on his face when you walk in his room>”
Walter, of course, knew exactly who he was talking about. And he couldn't wait to see the expression on his face either.