You left me so sad today
I needed you to make me smile
I wanted to see you laugh
And forget my burdens awhile
Robin, you left me sad today
My heart is pained even more
That you're the one who took your life
Was there nothing worth fighting for?
Robin, what do you leave for us?
Who have struggled down this path?
What do you leave for us to think
If you couldn’t make it last?
You had it all, you had the fame
You had the glory too
But Robin, where was the love?
Where was the love for YOU?
Those who laugh the hardest
And make the tears come down
Are those with pain too great to bear
So they play the part of clown
I’ve also played that part, my dear
I laugh to hide the tears
I giggle and I joke around
But I’m consumed by fears
Oh Robin, I will miss you so
We’ve never even met
But I feel I know you well
No one sweeter than you yet
So like a robin, you flew away
Took your life to be free
Oh Robin, I’m left here to think
What will become of me?
To Robin Williams, one of my absolute favorite actors. I adored that man.
Media vita in morte sumus – in the midst of life we are in death (Wolfgang
Depression claims another soul. Only those who deal with it know the dark
places that it can lead...yes, even to the valley of the shadow of death.
This barren night along dim street
where lamp posts hide drops of gold flakes,
and thorny weeds crack at her feet
to sift death's crumbs, throwing keepsakes.
Yesterday's thoughts scream much bolder
alone now, pinned by heart’s lesion
missing groom's compassionate flair;
as anguish sigh in procession.
Fractured mind plays a tortured game
that sorrow drifts without relief,
chasing lost hours in timeless frame
while bleak clouds linger like a thief.
And darkened soul pours acid rain
till beads of moonlight kiss wet eyes,
stars dripping bigger than tears’ stains
to wake faith’s songs, new quests arise.
Grief Contest of Black- Eyed Susan
Sailing these seas, right now the waves are rough.
The ship is hard to steer, and I fear we may sink.
My crew has hope, but they don’t see what I do.
The water’s looking troubled, just like the way I think.
Sailing these seas, the waves have settled down.
The ship is sailing smoothly, I believe we’ll be okay.
My worries are at the back of my head.
I’ll save them for another day.
Sailing these seas, I think we’ve struck something!
My crew is in a panic, and I was not prepared.
Captain, don’t you know you always have to be cautious?
Even the leader sometimes gets scared.
Arriving at the shore, the ship barely intact.
Most of my crew is gone, but a few knew how to live.
They saved me when I needed them.
I want to show thanks, but I have nothing left to give.
To me, this poem sort of symbolizes depression, while indirectly talking about it.
The first verse pretty much says
"I am in a bad place, and I have supporting friends/family, but they don't see what I'm going through the way I do."
Second: "Things are getting better and I've decided to stop worrying about bad things happening and try to be happy."
Third: "Whenever I start thinking about good things and have hope, something bad always happens and I should've been prepared for it."
Fourth: "I made it through it, but lost a lot of the people supporting me because they couldn't handle me while I was down, and whatever I went through weakened me so it's hard to show gratitude to the people who stayed."
A toddlers Crayola masterpiece marks the box
Where the story of our days now tarry
Passages tilting the axis of a bittersweet equinox
As photographs eclipse yesterday and today unvaried
The plans we made for a life
After years of work and worry
Useless installments when your partner dies
The crumbling of everything you once held firmly
Riveted, uprooted with every slide
Scenes of "our time" bring you back to life
I step from earth, you from the sun, for yet another goodbye
And the dam finally collapses behind brave hazel eyes
But not the brokenness your death left behind
Still, though no more than ashes it resides
Like faded photographs etched in the mind
Fanning the embers... one picture at a time
Rage rises, for you left me alone
Without refuge for all life's trials
And our sons fatherless before they were grown
Every step feeling more like a mile
I've grieved so long
And tried to move on
Like river water never looking back
But it's motion sings the the words to our song
Leaving me afraid I'll never belong
Or live out the plan we devised
For all my days my efforts give way
Blundering, burdened and blind
How does one truly recover
When the mate of their soul is no more
Or pass from one realm to yet another
When the walls of your heart no longer have a door?
Frustration builds like Lego towers
toppling to the floor under the weight of the world
Is it grief or something disguised by cowards
When a heart gets stuck from the pain that it's learned?
This ode to a man
Who in covenant took my hand
The marriage equator engraved a permanent mark...
For his death left a total eclipse of my heart
Crazy as a loon
But my God... how I loved you
My eyes fixed upon our favored moon
And I wonder... Do you miss me too?
Anniversaries used to be a joyous accomplishment
Marking years of selfless love made
Now it serves only an acknowledgement
Of a life interrupted by a cruel twist of fate
Of ill trusted hopes
And a future unmade
For us left behind to cope
With memories and photographs fading away
On this the 2nd anniversary...
Of your passing away
In memory of my husband of 25 years
Crimson mist in the Dallas sky,
a frantic wife's mad dash.
The world watched us as we cried
for hope gone in a flash.
Brilliant poet with timeless verse
and enduring message of peace.
A murderous fan fulfilled his curse.
Does lunacy ever cease?
Perfect day in the city
until the towers fell.
Religious zealots who had no pity.
Their resting place is hell.
So look at history if you can
and learn from such hindsight.
As long as evil has a plan
we must not quit the fight.
An orange little ball,
Tattered and torn to bits,
No longer does it fly straight,
Its course lost, its path in fits,
An orange little ball,
Sad within its cracks and in its creases,
Faded bumps, its lost its grip,
It now falls to pieces,
Orange little ball,
Come to death smiling,
Never live just to die,
Happiness lives in and amidst the crying,
Orange little ball,
Wipe the tears away,
There is peace to be found,
In and amongst the fray.
Let sway the hammock's bend; embrace its flight
Avast! My soul, transcend
T'is toil shall pass, woe will end
Amidst the torment, ascend!
On the plight of this garden till when to grieve
Will this nest ever its glory retrieve
The companion birds are all flown away
O cyprus trees and roses! Permit me to leave
(Influenced by a Rubai of an eminent Urdu poet Josh Malihabadi)
I have fallen victim so many times
To nobody's fault except only mine.
I will ask for forgiveness and have faith,
Even though I feel like I am not saved.
On the bank of oblivion’s river
A soul hastily arrives
Wishing to cross on the other side
Where eternity resides
Has been preparing for the crossing
Since the first day of her birth
But now that the moment is so near
She is afraid of her death
More few moments she is begging
For much better to prepare
Before the Charon with his boat
Her, to perpetuity transfers
Death however is adamant
Since to delay he can not
So he is reminding the soul
That it is her mortal lot
With dread she is now boarding
For the trip of no return
But surprised she is to find
That this is of no concern
As the crossing is completed
And the soul disembarks
On the land of sanctified
This is now what remarks
All worries and all burdens
That she carried all along
When imprisoned in the body
In that place don’t belong
For first time she is sensing
Real freedom in her being
Such amount of love and beauty
This world has never seen
At an instance she turns holy
And with angels she soars
To the heavens of the blessed
Where her creator adores!
© Demetrios Trifiatis
16 OCTOBER 2013
*Reposted poem – in honor of our loving poetrysoup friend and a personal friend , Lucilla Charillo, who died on 27 th September 2014! Lucilla, we miss you already! You with God now! Rest In Peace!
Here is Lucilla’s comment on “ THE CROSSING”
Date: 10/16/2013 8:28:00 AM
My friend Demetrios; I have been sad for the past few days, but this really made me cry. This is very heartfelt and touching to the soul. A - 7 and I loved this poem. Thank you so much and God bless you always.... Lucilla
She prowls the night
with clenched jaw and pride,
nothing able to smite
her remorseless stride.
The ominous reflection of moon
shines forth from devouring eyes
of a nocturnal beauty spun on the loom
of the Creator's bid and sighs.
Grace moves her every limb
and she precedes an enraged scream
caused by ruins of a forest now grim
and held alive by all but one stream.
Her claws prophesy of vengeance
though her heart yearns for reconciliation.
Yet now there would be no leniency
for a soul's annihilation.
Now on journeys through lush valleys and ashes
she will embark
until all that remains after furious thrashes
will be the tigress' mark.
Rob me of my purity,
But once again it's all my fault;
Fell into the trap of false promises
Because I pressed play instead of pause.
Haunted by your memory,
You're in my thoughts and dreams,
They say you never forget your first,
There's truth to that it seems
Standing alone in a crowd
Why don’t they understand?
Your universe wrapped in a shroud
You hold out an arm, an empty hand
Why is the world still turning?
Your song running though your head
They don’t understand the yearning
Why did you leave, why are you dead?
The longing for who is no more
You don’t feel your tears in the rain
No one but you feels the sore
Where your heart can never be again
Lost and now alone, that’s the theme
Yet you see them on every street
You chase and wish and dream
But it’s not them when you finally meet
A soldier breathing his last breath
A scarred wife left behind
A father-less son now contemplating death
A son-less father losing his mind
~Christopher Thor Britt
Rising out of bed as the sun peeks through the window
Eyelids are a fluttering as she looks towards her side
Another day to fear and what is she to make of it
She wishes it were night again, so easier to hide
Once when she was young she was playing with her dolls
Dreams of growing older with a family of her own
But the days went by and her reality became completely altered
To loneliness, despair, and no one there to phone
SEVEN BILLION PEOPLE and who is there to see
Visions of what could have been, her heart has turned to stone
No career, no wedding, no children, her world a tiny room
Gasping out her final breath, across her lips a moan
The hole is dug, the casket lowered, no one there to grieve
What life was this, what purpose here, as rain falls on the grave
Father McKenzie of the lonely, a tear rolls down his cheek
Eleanor Rigby, another soul his prayers have failed to save
Beyond smiling lips
carrying the sorrows of the past,
behind the eyes' sparkle
concealing the darkness of horrors still to last
stares a stranger, young and kind.
Yet she shows not her face
for the stroke of death's caress
extinguishes the aroma of her heart.
Not for any sin, but tenderness
so pure. For survival's sake, she died.
Now her corpse haunts the corners of thought.
Her laughter echoes throughout the years
like the singing bird clipped of wings.
Steel nerves creak with the rust formed by her tears
and audibly a cry from her coffin screams.
Perhaps her ghost will someday rest
when justice to her grave is done,
her tombstone placed to mark her existence
and known in my reflection...
Yes, I killed her. I murdered her in cold blood still flowing.
Now she is vengeful, her dead heart still pounding.
Eyes are closed
They make no sound
Ailing loved ones
Life's black holes
Life gives and takes
Deaths door opens
A new existence awaits
As beloved kin
Aren't seen again
They're gone for now
No rhyme or reason
No telling how
Lives are taken
By the coins wicked toss
Never knowing why
The end has come
The time is nigh
Friends are gone
To shores unknown
Led by the holy one
Watching them die
The bodies last sigh
It hurts inside
When they must go
Share sorrow far and wide
The heart does love
Watching from above
I used to dream when I was new
Of midnight curls, eyes sapphire blue:
Long years ago, it now does seem
When I was new, I used to dream.
I must confess, as dreams are free
I didn't see you wait for me.
My eyes were shut, my heart no less
As dreams are free, I must confess.
Then years flew by; I woke at last
My childhood dreams became my past.
With just three words, a dance, a sigh
I woke at last – then years flew by.
The love I found, it went away;
I lost your hand one sunny day.
It slipped from mine, fell to the ground:
It went away, the love I found.
My strength, my world, I watched it fade,
Those years of light fell into shade.
My body done, my soul unfurled,
I watched it fade, my strength, my world.
The past is haze but I’m not done;
I linger on: alone, I’m one.
I fear my grief will drown my days,
But I’m not done – the past is haze.
The love we share, it’s all I need,
For though I’m lost, I know you’ll lead.
I’ll follow you and break despair –
It’s all I need, the love we share.
(a swap quatrain poem for Andrea Dietrich’s 'Swap Quatrains' Contest)
So much pain
Innocent lives lost
Separation from spirit
Now evident, the cost
Blame will be easy
Anger, quick to rise
Unite must we all
For peace, no compromise
Understand may we never
What drives such evil minds
Heal must we now
To each other, be kind
Hate may come quickly
Justified by most
Reach out where you can
Turn tragedy to hope
Find in yourself
Strength to carry light
For together we are strong
Brighter future still in sight
Hold tight those you love
Honor those today lost
Be the change you seek
A bridge together, we can cross
* Dedicated to those lost and those left behind – December 14,th 2012 Sandy Hook Elementary School
Newtown, Connecticut *
Subtle comes the mourning
In light laced with night
Like concentric circles forming
In the Forrest's biography of life
For children grow in truth like trees
It's lesson is wisdom's offering
Spiral layer of night and day
Concealed an annual weathering
In heartwood forest you were raised
By its protection you survived
Though it is dead this central wood
At your core does it reside
Tiny saplings like newborn cries
Sunlight tapping your tender leaves
Tears turned sugar transformed you thrive
For the sweet lifeblood you need
When something dies it's natural
Of sorrow to be prone
I'll follow the path of your tears your anchor
Through the storm I'll not leave you alone
For I am your taproot in rocky soil
I'll hold you secure as you grow
Take your tears and turn them sugar
Photosynthesis of life to bestow
Your Daddy was your heartwood
I know you mourn at his stone
Though Mommies leaves dawn new colors
I'll teach you to grow your own
For when he died your sapwood
With tears like resin filled
For from his bedded seed you came
A new tree with heartwood instilled
Under my branches my son you are planted
And Daddy's new home is our sky
Together we will shade you and light your way
Stretching my roots to hold yours while you cry
Someday when life's rings they gather
Hidden under your fortress of bark
You'll know the storms I too have weathered
In this silent breaking of my heart
Can it be? After all this time?
In my dream I float through a home.
Here, where I left my soul without a shrine in grime.
This corridor... my heart turns to stone.
My feet won't turn around
nor will they stop at my bid.
My mind conforms to chaos, yet my body is sound.
I seem to be in some monotonous state of allure so timid.
The darkness illuminates the sorrow
of the disintegration I threw away, in vain.
I reach the door I locked years ago
and my panic boils at what I can't face again.
Behind the door would be all I lost.
Everything I left behind not to stagnate.
Now a haunting voice sings to melt the frost
of the decision I made in the countenance of fate.
To my horror I possess the key to the past.
The lock is rusted and welded, to my relief.
Now I recognise the ghost's song, and joy is engulfed fast...
Memories erupt... I remember... I murdered her in grief...
you push into my sphere
to breach my secret lair,
how dare you seek and find me here
within this raptured air!
before I swallow down
the essence of your shape.
Your ups and downs,
your sight and sound,
and at your neck the nape.
A tender sample of a soul
too empty to explain,
I shall not venture to extol,
my agony and pain.
Not every monster has a heart
though you will not believe,
I was a monster from the start
your love will not relieve
the darkness waiting to consume
your light just like a thief ,
now leave me gnashing
on my doom,
and clawing at my grief.
Letter to Mum and Dad
Dear Mum, Dear Dad, you're gone from my life.
I remember you now as a good husband and wife.
Dad, I saw you lay there. Lifeless, quite still.
The shocks that they gave you, zapped at my will.
When I touched you, your body, still warm, lips blue.
A far cry from the father, the man I once knew.
Your cheeks in contrast, stood out, quite bold.
Your hand I touched. That memory I hold.
Mum, I never saw you, when you passed away.
You were alone in your bed, so it's for you that I pray.
I remember you most, for the love that you gave me.
Always caring, never judging, I wished I could save thee.
Now that you're gone, I don't feel alone.
You're the best parents in life, this child could have known.
So it's with you in memory, my life has begun.
I remain as always, your ever loving son.
Today, it just doesn't seem fair
That we are still able to breathe.
They have given us their air-
Our duty to lead the life they leave.
Helmets prevent not confusion of mind.
Armores prevent not a heavily heart.
Shields prevent not unseen undermined.
Swords deeper not as when Loved One's depart.
another day seeps down the drain,
I cannot find the leak.
what am I if not insane?
my thoughts too dark to speak.
the daily flogging of my spirit
is more than most could bear.
my fate reveals that I should fear it,
yet it's jaws cannot ensnare
my mind and will are still my own,
despite the efforts of big brother.
the path less traveled I'll take alone
only to find there are always others
who dare traverse the same dark trail
and challenge the righteous rank
whose morality is a living hell
for those who choose to think.
Trying to make sense of senseless murders...
among the flock there seem to be
a few without remorse
they want their name for all to see
no matter what the course
so silently they await the day
they've planned down to the minute
misfortune soon has it's way
with the poor souls caught up in it
and families left to grieve alone
while a killer still remains
with empty eyes and face of stone
he most certainly is insane
but deep within his twisted mind
lies coherence with evil purpose
psychopaths aren't well-defined
yet another will surely surface
To you alone
My heart is sold
As the days go
Your beauty grows
As time flies by
i have to sigh
When you walk by
And catch my eye
I cannot think
Or even blink
As it may seem
Only a dream
To you alone
I have to sigh
And just walk by
Your beauties glow
My soul a strife anxiety,
it pins me to the wall.
With fears of going onward
and knowing that I'll fall.
I pray a clap of thunder.
A devastating blow!
A message God has paraphrased:
destruction down below.
Debris a shattered tree limb.
It's wood chips scattered bomb.
A sign we need a change to
a life in need of calm.
The wind without a voice yet.
It's spirit light as air.
My breath a silent laughter
that someone else will care.
As others gather round now
in debt of more despair,
We're gathering in peace now.
None humble as to dare.
And me a silent witness
who's faith gives way to fear
still hopes for any blessings
God's grace will bring from here.