Tell me of your peace.
Let it tell your story now
Of trials and tribulations, a tale not of dreams
Weary from a journey of self-discovery
My child, know the comfort in your peace
You feel hope in this familiar place
As it gently sloughs the pain away
Tell me of your peace
In which we all are blessed and free
Search throughout your soul sweet child
Peer not within your cluttered mind
Look out to rest your tired eyes but do not let them see
Solace found strewn upon daily thoughts is fleeting at it's best
Lasting merely moments, in untouched souls a true peace
Oh yes! You'll know when you arrive but only you will know
The world will melt away as a candle left under the blazing sun
Away away, until you feel home again, an unguided familiar scene
An innocence once lost is restored, all sins suddenly forgiven
Soaking this in with relucant ease,
Breathe it deep with a slow release
Take it in, delight in details you discover
Be calm here child, please have no fear, I am here
You are safe in this place of yours, no hurt no tears
We share not the same peace, no no
Unique to each of us, yet stranger to none
Trust in more than what you see, know beauty is within reach
We share this unspoken bond of freedom from ourselves
Please young one, listen closer now
I say, leave it all behind you love, it will only weigh you down
Cleanse yourself of careless words and careful lies
I know you're weary, let go of all you carry
Don't be afraid, here you are burden free
Trust in you, blessed one, it's easier than you believe
Sweet child, tell me now if you see
Peace resting deep within
Waiting for you
For you to let it be
Do eye need a kis. Eye need a girl to kis. Eye have a girl that eye can kis.
Eye have kis her in the rain. Eye have kis her in mye heart. Eye have kis her in
mye start of every day for years of love. Eye have only to the kis to go to read more
into kis to find the place she dwells in this old mortal frame of yearning
dwelling place. The kis is purple bliss of alarm blazing love waking me from
death like a Snow White Charmed young man a captive smith to Pocahontas
fame. A dandelion flower lost in the caverns of the depths Ianthe drowning mee
in sea ward tufts of left and right bouts of beating on the air to keep from sliding
to the depths of drowning in her arms of love. A leap at faith a death reprieved
from Grounded Grave a leaping portent making waves of Gragon wings. An
attitude of love refrained in every tuft of wind again the sound of love the beating
of the water on the roof of tin the sound of kis inside the wind and rain. A younger
man and woman would have hardware in the way the nose and yes the nose gay
and the corners of the vampyrific fangs. The center of the tongue is one the belly
button too. The snooker table has a cue it’s called the ball extender bridge it's a
cheater it’s made to let the basest man to reach her in the wind. There is so
many problems with people the gas is oughta sight at the pumps this country is
no longer prominent but a third world country going south. The end of time has
come and arrived the ruthless and worthless rule in the name of god money and
time. Take a number wait in line what’s your name please fill this out and wait.
The number of his namme. Have you got a credit card or payment of any kind iff
you can give me seven dollars for an office visit eye will help you the doctor is inn.
The man was lighting a candle in front of the computer and the lieberrian asked
him what do you think you are doing he said eye cannot see the screen. There is
not very many rich people in all those cars on the highway whizzing by the most of
them is middle class or less the plastic hose on the back seat is a siphon they
use it to get gas. Eye had too many problems at home growing up to ever be a
father. The age factor plus the drug indicator keeps me from trying to further my
benefactor with fodder or with mudder. The morality of this hurried fable of
dividing documents is this a kis.
It was kind of nice having money all the
Looking back when I was seventeen,
I looked forward to going to work.
It is unlike what I feel about work now.
I did a lot of reading as a child.
I read all kinds of books.
I would consider Oak Lawn a safe
I can’t remember any times when I got beat up.
I did a lot of running home and telling.
I avoided a lot of suffering by talking to
My parents about the bullies.
It wasn’t until junior high that I had to
Take care of a fight that went way wrong.
I was scared to death of a seventh grader.
I fought him, and found out he wanted to
I wasn’t that good of a
I got better
In high school.
It was kind of chaotic, and the wrestling matches
Were more “fighting” than wrestling.
I hung in school and made a name for myself
At Oak Lawn Community High School.
My sister gave me a collection of albums
My junior year.
I was introduced to all kinds of music by
My first good introduction to music came
My sophomore year.
A friend introduced me to “The Police” with
“Zenyatta Mondatta” and “Ghost in
He told me what he did at his party
In eighth grade.
They sat around and played Gin.
They drank soda.
They went bowling.
I got off to a late start with music,
And I finally caught up with my tape-
Radio I got for Christmas my junior year.
I could have had a big party,
But I decided to wait.
I didn’t really have one except
The one’s I had in grammar school.
My friend thought he was going to
Get married to this one girl at O.L.C.H.S.
It fizzled out like my relationship did.
That girl liked someone else though.
I should have given up calling her,
It was no fun talking to her.
She didn’t talk to me at all in school.
I’m not sure she even knew who I was
I didn’t have anymore classes with her.
Her boyfriend went out for basketball
Like I should have done. I was pretty good. Maybe just
Doing my chess and studying was the best thing for me to do.
The strength of a woman
Is not in her tongue
Or the length of her hair
Or the songs she has sung
Control is not found
In the clothing she wears
Or seduction she offers
Or the child that she bears
Her honor and glory
Comes not from what shows
Except her reliance
On God that she knows
For God gives her power
Beyond height and length
And makes her much stronger
To display her strength
It’s there deep within her
And flows through her being
Revealing a boldness
And strength we are seeing
For man cannot crush
All the things she can do
For she is a woman
And warrior too
MUSICK NONnude Review
Grand Funk Railroad was a fave group of mine the best time eye ever had was in
a house on a rug listening to this song of hard rock and rhinocerous thumps.
Wait. FOGHAT was the best for sex but lucky mee was never a Catholic. The
Horns blew for Chicago and there was lots of other groups to make this fable
bleed there was the Creedence Clearwater Revival so cool so wonderful a thing.
John Fogarty sure must have been a saint. Eye wish he had not got so mad and
left the other members of his group. But Creedence Song became a new fave
Daddy had a band
Played him a little guitar
Traveled in a van
Livin' that rock and roll
Night after night
People comin' up to the bandstand
Say you can't go wrong
If you play a little bit of that
It was late one night
Cruisin' on down the interstate
Stopped into a diner
To get him some chili and fries
Heard the waitress tell a guy
Standin' over by the jukebox
Hey you can't go wrong
If you play a little bit of that
Well daddy took a shine
To the lil' girl behind the counter
She movin' her hips to the swamp beat
Right on time
Said could he play her somethin'
Over there on the jukebox
She said you can't wrong
If you play a little bit of that
Daddy had a plan
He asked that girl to marry
With a brand new wife
They're livin' on rock and roll
Night after night
She whispers oh so sweetly
Hey you can't go wrong
If you play a little bit of that
Fantasy like Reality can be a disappointment...
Clearing the Air........
He worshipped her from afar...
He had since he was three..
He hid it well , no one knew...
She was his heart’s desire...
With her big bright eyes and her winning smile..
He never thought she would beguile...
Then he turned ten and it was clear..
It had been she who did inspire...
this young man ,with his heart on fire...
He arrived at seven in the morn...
To help prepare the feast de jour...
He stuffed the bird and chose to make..
Her favourite dessert...fresh Raspberry cake..
He feverishly cut and whipped and stirred..
Grandpa ‘s little helper was becoming quite the gourmet chef...
Then came the time to shower, and get dressed...
He chose his wardrobe carefully...
Making sure that he looked and smelled hmmm good....
She arrived and you could see him beaming proudly...
Everyone feasted on the bird and ate their fill...
He waited on her as I watched..
No one even blinked an eye..
They spoke for what seemed an eternity..
His face could be read for all to see...
Then out of the blue, she excused herself..
And went out on the patio to puff some stuff...
His face went white, I could see his plight..
She chose to be with others you see..
Who foolishly did an atrocity...
The one he worshiped from afar..
Went up in smoke...as she smoked her cigar...
The moon, a golden doubloon buried in the midnight sky, amongst a billion diamond
speckles, shimmers in the warm summer night’s air, as it slowly climbs to its zenith. The
lake reflects the scene back a thousands times on a thousand different ripples as oars
silently part the dark waters leaving star trails in their wake. In the small boat a girl lies
on the bottom, her long dark tresses hidden beneath a dark woolen cloak. Her sparkling
green eyes squeezed closed tight. Her full lips hold no emotion in them only lay still,
betraying nothing. Her delicate hands clasped behind her back bound there by a coarse
rope which winds its way around her small soft breasts and makes its way down to her
bare tender feet, trussing her up as neatly as a pig on its way to market. Yet there is no
fear in her eyes. No tears running down her smooth pale cheeks. No breath quickening in
her chest. Yet when she opens her bright green eyes, out emits what can only be called
faith and hope, like sunbeams through holes in the clouds, as if she knows someone is
waiting for her just on the other side of this moment, waiting to rescue her from a peril
she knows not what. Yet no one does. She is now laying on a cold gray beach. The girl
turns away. Not caring about the pain that tears through her hands and feet. Tears run
down her cheeks in torrents. Her body convulses silently. And there in the first of the
morning light, lying on the pale white sand, she fills utterly alone for the first time in her
life. And as the waves crash on the shore, the suns rays burst forth filling the world, she
lets herself go. Her hair is plastered to her face, she doesn’t notice. Someone has undone
her bound legs. She didn’t even feel it. Slowly a strong calloused hand pulls her to her
feet. She lets it. Empty now she lets them gently push her along a narrow trail that leads
farther away from the place that use to be her home. She sags to the ground. Let them
kill her. She would welcome it. She would beg for it if she could only find her voice, but
she lost that when she lost her heart. Her heart, somewhere back on the sands, at the
edge of the lake. Somewhere where the waves are crashing down on top of it, crushing it,
slowly dragging it out to a dark watery grave, where it wont have to bare the light of day
again, where it can dwell in the darkness that it so desperately wants to consume it.
Sometimes everything seems fake to me, and I am so tired of people acting like they remember what love is.
Everyone says it.
“I love you, I love you, I love you.”
No words are more meaningful to me when sailing from the lips of a true friend or a kindred spirit, but the rest of you have to be careful where you point those syllables
because that’s like taking the closest thing to
the Lord’s name that I ever understood
I was walking back from the gas station a few weeks ago and some girl I didn’t even know looked at me and said it.
Her lip gloss opening and closing like some kind of sea creature fishing for plankton, and I just happened to be the nearest thing drifting past.
“Love you!”, like it was hello.
Now I have just one question
“WHAT DO YOU MEAN”
You have no idea what I am.
My smile’s like this because my parents had the money.
My eyes are not the windows to my soul.
They don’t mean jack except for genetics that I had no control over, and what my mother ate when I was in utero.
That’s like acting like my poetry is who I am.
Like how myelinated the neurons in my linguistics center
I can feel the right to decide that I am more or less, valuable.
It happened again earlier too.
I was sitting on the greyhound back home, having a conversation with a girl with guys all around her like fire ants with their mating tubes out. All of them with ink, piercings, and sizing me up
because my six-foot-four stature could not speak for itself.
I’d like to think we talked about something more important than my assets and destination, but as she turned to disappear out of the bus with her escorts, she cast the three words back on me
like throwing a fishing line on the off chance something might bite,
“I love ya.”
….what in the world.
After this, I think of the only one whose words held their weight.
I don’t mean no harshness,
but if I could go back in time and have half the balls my poetry does, I’d take you aside, and tell you something you wouldn’t understand. Something like, “BAM! I am a tulip field on fire at sunset.”
Something like, “My shirt, is from the Goodwill.”
Something like, “You’re telling me Christ could have saved the world with His cheekbones?”
“You’re telling me I’m viable and worth a few minutes of your attention?”
“You’re telling me tall, black, and attractive is what’s in this century?”
But let me tell you.
You don’t have any idea of the size of the planets you’re saying you want to try and swallow when you say those words to me.
I’ve been waiting to be able to hear, feel, taste, smell, and know those words for too long. You have to mean them to say them.
But you see, I was a philosopher before I was a poet, so I have to take that back and reflect it on myself.
The truth is, I’m so confused that sometimes, I don’t know which end my head is at.
Poetry flies in my eyeballs that should never make it past my lips, but I’m getting tired of trying to impress people.
In this past month, I’ve been day dreaming about the girl smiling at me and it meaning more than
“You look like you got good genetics”
“Could I please date your self esteem?”
I’ve been day dreaming of the girl who reminded me of what those three words are supposed to mean.
Like when my acne came back, and you told me not to scratch at a handsome face.
“I love you.”
Like when my poetry departs, and all I can do is ramble things too big for my head.
“I love you.”
Like when I didn’t feel like just a romantic stereo type anymore.
“I love you.”
What those words meant to me, before I made the world make them less.
She sits there in the back of the class, doodling on her paperwork. Getting lost in
the scribbles, tuning out the teacher, forgetting all the madness around her, her life
fading in the paper. Slap! The sound of the ruler splintering across the desk. PAY
ATTENTION! Head jerking upward, she sits up in her little desk. Pencil dropping from
her hand, rolling off onto the floor. She looks straight ahead, back straight as a
board, eyes glued ahead as the teacher drones on. Drilling things into their heads,
eyes sharp like an eagle. Looking for every chance to catch someone falling asleep,
to catch someone passing notes, to catch someone whispering. The little girl quietly
picks up her pencil and her mind drifts to dreaming of playing dress up, drifts to the
path the lead makes on the paper. The curves of a woman, not a little girl. Dreaming
of growing up into a woman. Confident, pretty, smart, strong....someone people will
notice....a woman with a voice. Slap! The ruler across her hand. She jerks it back,
clasping it to her chest. Instant sting, instant redness and she feels the tears start
to pool in her eyes, her lip quivering to hold back the yelp. Pay attention! You’re not
listening! I asked you a question young lady. Should I repeat it? She’s so scared
that she can’t even speak so she just meekly nods her head. Hard as steel, cold as
ice, the teacher repeats the question. She hangs her head and answers but her
voice is barely above a squeeking whisper. Speak up! says the teacher. The class
can’t hear you, I can’t hear you she says. The little girl raises her head and repeats
her answer. WRONG! Slap! The ruler across her other hand. See if you had been
paying attention instead of DOODLING, then you wouldn’t have gotten the ruler.
You’ll make sure next time you will listen now won't you. The little girl doesn’t
answer, doesn’t speak up. She doesn’t want the ruler again. So she carefully and
quietly lays her pencil on her little wooden desk that bares the markings of many
ruler slappings. And on her little wooden desk, she rests her hands that bare the
scars of many ruler slappings. She stares straight ahead at the chalkboard,
unwavering, searing a hole in the chalkboard. She tries to find the dream of dress
up, tries to find the girl dressing up as the woman she wants to be. But all she sees
on the chalkboard…no matter how hard or how long she stares...all she sees on the
chalkboard.....is nothing but chalk.
In my life I often feel I am alone; alone in my thoughts, alone in my musings, alone in my day-to-day movements and unsatisfying activities. I move like a ghost through hallways and down sidewalks, unnoticed and, at times, gratefully so.
I do not wish to be eternally alone. I long for togetherness. But despite this desire for a real connection, I find myself regularly retreating from that temperamental beast that is human interaction.
“Come on now, sweetheart. Don’t lower your head. Don’t look away. Look up! Smile at someone! No! Don’t go back into your bedroom. Don’t lock the door! Why are you doing this?” my brain will plea.
I can’t help myself. Aloneness is comfortable. In being alone, I don’t have to worry about anyone but myself. I don’t have to please anyone else. I can think anything I want, wear anything I want, listen to anything I want, and laugh at anything I want.
And still there remains that nagging desire to be loved and wanted and needed by somebody. I do not know the feeling of being truly desired. I do not know what it is like for someone to crave my company, my smile, my kiss, or my touch.
But I would like to…
I cannot make someone love me or like me or want me in some primal way. It may hurt, but I cannot make that handsome boy want to hold my hand or brush my hair back behind my ear. I can only struggle on. I can only work within myself. I can only try every God damn day to hold my head up, keep my eyes fixed ahead, a give the world the best smile I have. I and I alone can bring myself out of the safety of my bedroom and into the bright world that lies beyond that locked door.
I often find myself alone with nothing more than my thoughts and the ever-strong glow of a computer screen. But no longer will aloneness be the constant in my life. It is true that never having known the caress of a man’s hand on my thigh doesn't make me any less of a woman, but I fear that if I stay confined within myself much longer I will begin to become less of a human. A flower cannot grow if it retracts its leaves and petals every time it feels the warmth of the sun or the kiss of a gentle spring rain.
And I want to grow. I want to grow so tall and blossom so big and beautifully that every place on earth is touched by my shadow at some point in the day. And I will grow. I will push myself and share myself with the world, and finally
know the closeness and comfort of love and honest, unabashed companionship.