The leaf has fallen from everything it has known
The wind of despair drags the leaf aimlessly
The leaf can not find refuge from its tormentor
The Leaf begs for mercy
Withered and dry, as others float aimlessly by
Wishing for their company, wanting a friend
But, only receiving an evanescent try
Oh, how fate does not bend
Envy the evergreen
They dance with the wind of melancholy
Never falling from grace, never losing to nature's game
Why are they immortal when the rest wonder the earth alone until death
Crumbling, the wind does not stop, nor does it care too
Falling apart, the earth's soil reclaiming me
Fading away, is this peace, or is this just death
I am lonely, afraid
"DEATH OF DEPRESSION"
Living each day all alone Even though I'm surrounded by millions of people, I still feel in isolation.
I am surrounded by the nothing, i am the Nothing!
Deep inside, I feel rotten to the core,
Skin shedding,like the devil is devouring me!
I feel that life's oils are draining from me,
Seeping through my vein's,
No light within me, darkness has took it's toll,
How do I break it's grasp.
Energy is draining, yet a spark ignites inside me,
My soul will win out,
I will fight with each and every breath I take.
The darkness will become light once again.
-AMELIE STARR (EMMA GIBSON-CHALMERS)
Frightened; scared; worrisome, that's how I am..
Not that I am so ****ed up or too bad..
Rather I am caring so much...
Or maybe I have experienced too much..
I built up walls to protect myself...
I restricted myself to rules and regulations..
I defined and structured ways to be in control..
I followed a pattern to avoid dominion...
Maybe because of how I have grew up..
Maybe because of how the persons treated me..
Maybe because of how situations challenge me..
Maybe because of actual experience..
True, I am almost exactly like that..
Few have taken the time and effort to discover me..
Behind those smiles are hidden pains to burst..
Behind those silence are quiet tears waiting to break..
Behind those hugs are yearnings of affection.
Behind those compositions are me: myself...
Yet, I have always been hopeful...
Always holding on...
Not that of pretentions.
Nor to give good impression..
Rather, It is because of that burning faith..
It is because of that selfless love...
Didn't I laugh hard until I'm teary eyed..
Didn't I sing so much until my voice hoarse..
Didn't I eat so much that I burp..
Didn't I given so much that I'm remembered...
Didn't I still love so much that I don't expect any returns..
I lie to protect people I love..
I break rules to get closer to what I want..
I work hard to attain my dreams...
I try to be the happy me to me others happy..
I am living my life the way I know right..
I made mistakes and even failed..
but, I rejoice to acknowledge these didn't stop me..
These didn't lead me to quit..
I rise up..
I stood up..
I am still here..
God, helped me through it all..
She never gave the love that I saught
He never asked about my thoughts
I stayed home with no one to play
Lost in my dreams I wondered astray
I searched for a friend which I never found
I cried out my heart, no one heard the sound
Sometimes I wished I was never born
Or never wake up and see another dawn.
I peeped though the doors and saw them fighting
All day it was just yelling and shouting
I sat by the window and watched the white clouds
Wishing I could float with them and sing out aloud
But alas! My reverie never lasted forever
A cold voice would soon shake me and it would be over
Sometimes I wondered to whom I belonged
I searched for an answer like a lost song.
The kids in my class thought I was strange
Kind of weird, no one wanted to my friend
I didn’t know how to smile, I never found a reason
Life seemed so dark, trapped in a prison
Wish I could run, millions of miles
Find a faraway place where I could learn to smile
But at the end of the day the hope disappeared
I made my way back to the place that I feared.
Through my little window I stared at the night sky
Wishing for a miracle as I saw with my wet eyes
A twinkling star up above there
A sign of an angel coming from somewhere
I hoped and hoped, for a happy home
Where I would be loved and wouldn’t be so lone
It never happened and every day passed by
The lonely child kept wishing she could die.
Is a story of courage sacrifice and love,
Brought to her by a shameful abuse thereof.
Tainted and blamed for her inward beauty,
She kept her honor for her children's purity.
Knowing the pain of her wonderful convictions,
She slept in the arm's of man's imagination.
Though tormented of tears and pillows glove,
Her pride held her and gave her strength thereof.
Now she walks away from a battered past,
Leaving those who hurt her with a tainted mask.
A mask someday that will uncover their shame,
For God has a way to make blame...
How long will I have to call out to an open sky.
Where nothing but stars and constellations pass me by.
My restless heart screaming out for a lonely companion.
Where a tormented wanderer asks nothing more than attention.
Like a wolf I howl to distant voices.
Hoping I'll be heard,hoping someone will finally help me over come this feeling of solitude.
Like the stars I comfort in the moonlight.
As she cradles my shattered heart during the lonely nights.
The cold winds would fill the empty void in my heart.
And heal my heart from all it's battle scars.
AS she gives me hope to call out to open skies.
She helps me overcome my feeling of loneliness.
As her cold kiss touches my lips.
I finally fall asleep...