As i stare at this paper
it waits for me to write
so my feelings can be heard
inspiration came often
when we were together
words flowed freely
light as a feather
Fate has a reputation
of never being wrong
it takes destiny by the hand
and grips it forever strong
now this paper
which once was alive
quietly stares back at me
with dull loose leaf eyes
it mocks me
even dares me
to write words i couldn't speak for years
but, without you
the forecast calls for emptiness
with a good chance of tears
Inspiration comes from within
your smile always gave me my start
but these days my pen lay heavy
and so quietly broken
like a roadmap of your heart
for soulmates are rare
to let one go........even worse
now this pen and paper
who once were my companions
are now the very things i curse
So i put my pen down
and tuck the paper away for the night
and maybe tomorrow
words i couldn't speak
i'll be able to write......
Have I lost it?
The writing thing?
Have I been absent for so long that my thoughts are unable to come to a
complete stop and decide to focus...on ...one...thing?
I shudder profusely and then shake....
shudder...shake...doesn't that mean the same thing?
God....this feeling of complete talentlessness is absolutely....bad?
For the sake of being poetic I come up with...bad...seriously!!!
My fingers move at a snail's pace to keep up with the dismay that wants spill its
inerts on this screen in front of me and it will take the hand of God to prevent me
from actually not deciding to hit the delete button and feel justified in my
Ok...I'll leave it alone
be the cheerleader of this...piece...yea.
The narrow path
or a decision
from the bench.
The narrow path
the status quo
I know I may be kidding myself,
many see it as absurd.
But just because they think that way...
does it kill the written word?
Should I not write in rhyme,
Because it's no longer formal?
When did expression through the art of words,
become so strict and normal?
If the melody has died,
and the ancient bards subside...
then I shall mourn the loss of beauty,
that has receded into the tide.
Sorry its not you its me
Your everything that I want
I can see myself with you
I really can
Its just that I nolonger trust men
I want to be along
There's no such thing as love
I like you I do
Its just I have trust issues
A void of Facebook
Creativity dies here...
(Haiku)- * Motive, infidelity messing with the Queen Bee's Honey*
Queen Bee sits on throne,
Bumble and drone bees as one
Sample flowers dew
(Limerick) - *Admission of guilt leads to compensation*
Indeed this is how the story unfolds,
Pete said, "It's a poor rat with only one hole"...
Love had taught a sad lesson;
Divorce court was now in session,
Judge rules favor, Pete's pockets full of holes...
(Couplet) - *Take vows seriously payback often belongs to Spouse - Queen Bee*
Love said, "Pete too late you've opened your peepers"....
"Man, you should know it was cheaper to please her"!
Submitted for P.D.'s Divorce Club Contest (Haiku-Limerick-Couplet)
Don't look this way
For I have been burned in the face.
Defeat and captured
Only released by the sound of my breathing.
From dust till dawn
I say look away for I no longer wish for you to see me.
Released the blood from my eyes.
Look away for I have you placed in my heart
I wish you not to see me this way.
Though I be burn ,torn,tattered and fatal wounded
Shall my breathing keep me sane.
May you memory keep me warm
See these words I speak,hear me breathing so shallow.
Feel the darkness that formed in my eyes
Since this is my mind I may be released.
But forever trapped in a maze that brings
Me up to drag me down.
Look away for I am burned in the face
As long as you remember your in my heart,
And memory I shall be in yours.
So I shall say look away
For I am burned tattered and torn inside my mind.
Just look away
As I draw my eyes I think about what I have seen, what I have witnessed, what I have turned my eyes away from with but a blind stare, and all those special moments I missed that done passed and gone, but above all I think about what I have yet to see when I die.
As I draw my face and hair I think about I think about how the "Great One Above" has made me what color skin that I am and how he has shaped my attitude into what my life has become and what society and environment I was placed and grew up in around which culture or cultures I have become or unknowingly integrated.
As I draw my ears I think about what I have heard, what I am still hearing and what I choose not to hear among the many noises surrounded within ones hearing, but above all I think about what death has sounded like not in just one but many different loud but yet still very silent noises around one.
As I draw my body I think about what my body has endured, what it has failed to do so many times but also what it has finally conquered and still yet to conquer in a world of complete competition with sports so violent and unforgiving for winning does not forgive losers in a world striving to be winners.
As I draw my hands I think about how they have created so much but also trying not to think about how much they too have destroyed. I think about how I can easily create bad more than the good like an addiction that cannot be stopped among an addicted world full of fiends waiting to get their fix….but above all as I draw these words of life I think about how the heck I am still here today writing about it…..how I am still here enduring it and how I am still here even to share it…Thank You “Great One Above”…..
the less i have of
the additional use of
the more it breaks down
Contractual agreements with publisher caused DELETION
Beauty of nature
Why condense it down to God?
Isn’t life enough?
I stand solo, aloof in the snow, a precipitation
of words cascading from a nebulous eye
Fathoms wide, forever dripping like wax onto
a punctured paper serving a Sanskrit sky,
and spreading into sibilant sentences swiftly
sliding from syllable sorcery to soulful serenades
so silent in the shunting shout of white. Poetry
fills a churning void where novels cannot wade,
Phrases solidifying into idolisation of emotion
itself, isolation of the isometric individuality that so
Crushes my keeling cavern of thought, ever
careering from caustic career path to another new low,
Which so seems to crumble into crazy paving’s
counterpart. In this first freeze-frame we can all grasp
A fraction of the familiar, oh so fractured by the
fumbling nature of enforced form. Freed by the gasp
Of a photo-opportunity glowing phosphorescent
with firsts, I am no longer framed by the festering
Constraints of non-fiction, and folding my fond
farewells carefully, I hesitantly face a vision pestering
Me, fearing the fiend that would open maw and
gnaw beneath my feet, evoking an avalanche of the
Vernacular, but I am further past this unfed
existence now, loosened from the fickle friendship of a
Winter thaw. Focus not your gaze on the grinding
gauze of the greats, for the pressing pestilence of
Perishable poetry is elsewhere pondering its parallels
in posturing and post-modern pining for forlorn love.
Praise no other; I am poetry.
The rain slides off my hair,
soaking me wet.
The sky seems to be crying over me,
I don't care.
In the middle of nowhere,
without no soul to speak with.
Should I embrace my fear?
Tears are coming,
though not mine.
But I await my fate,
inpatient for all to end,
not worried for ones deathly drop.
I never had my laughing days on this smiling planet,
nor smiled at gracing sunsets.
No need for me to be where I have my wrongly self being,
in a world that doesn't want me in it!
Can't I be free?
escape, without it not labelled a sin?
My words doesn't breach a sound!
Am I bound to disappear with just one argument?
I now don't feel the need to fear,
useless waste from above.
But I do regret for what soon my breathless body didn't become,
maybe in the end it'll turn out to be all I was.
They will finally see,
a lost poet.
Instead you'll be seeing tears in my lifeless eyes,
like fallen old crusty papers,
with no expressions,
nor emotions of any kind that suits your almighty mind,
for ever no sense.
Throw away my heart and mind into dark flames of hell!
Feel my fury from the heat of not understanding!
All vanished within my last dying breath.
Don't cry for me,
cry for yourself.
like me forever,
HAD FUN WITH ENTERING THE DICTIONARY FUN CONTEST sponsored by Delliah Ventura!
THESE ARE THE WORDS THAT HAD TO BE IN THE POEM
Abomination scorn Affection Passion Yearning
Struggle Attempt Cherish Relationship Flame
Taste Tender Inner soul Bloom Bamboozle
HERE IS MY ON THE SPOT CREATION!..enjoy :)
I was a woman scorn
Unknowingly cherished a relationship
where the flame was no longer existent;
where time flew by in the distance and I missed
everything in my life I intended
because I was accepting a me that depended
I made an attempt to bamboozle the truth
and convince myself that he wasn’t screwing Kim
Ultimately I faked passion and lustfully feigned for affection
since I’d been betrayed
So, I got down on my knees and I prayed
I began yearning for knowledge of my Inner soul
I began to taste freedom and feel whole
The healing began and my consciousness rose - fresh bloom
It was no longer a struggle to end an abomination that would
prove to be a path of doom
I got 2 memba who I once was, who I really am, what I really am, and who Im still yet TO BECOME. I got 2 memba where Im from 2 know how I got 2 where Im at 2 know where Im still GOING TO GO/ Despite bein a felon and convict and all the odds against me, I still got all the evens deep within me. Change is like a choice of contradicted concepts of my own convictions. My felonistic, forbidden, fatherless faith is not workin for me no more, actually it never did I just thought it did. I aint got 2 give it up or must give it up, or even have 2 give it up I first got 2 want 2 give it up. But I also must got 2 have 2 want 2 give it up within my own contradicted soul so that I may travel that road less traveled by my own people, not only where Im from but for all those trapped in this American inner racial mixed struggle where race and the color of YOUR SKIN DOES MATTER
Your briefcase sits
beside the water can
(long dry memento of ivy,
coleus, and more exotic plants,
which perished under your patient,
Not good at growing greenery,
On paper you construct
Imaginary jungles, weep watery tears
When they wither
Beneath your critical eye.
I do not know?
On the day He died, I felt ashamed.
Quiet and remorse, I wanted to remain..
Why did I follow the ways of the worldly men?
When they mocked, scorned and spit on him?
I was the cause for what He went through.
I tried to find comfort; but, guilt was all I knew.
I couldn't eat or sleep, knowing He was dead.
Wishing now, I could take back everything I did or said.
When I had no one, He took care of me.
Set in my ways, his caring; I couldn’t see..
When I was ridiculed He didn’t take part.
Every kind thing He did, came from the heart.
He showed love to the rich and the poor.
To the lonely and the broken hearted, He restored.
How could I have been so prideful and blind?
How could I have been so cruel and unkind?
Sadness and guilt would not give up.
I wanted desperately to have taken the cup.
Why did I point at him and yell “Crucify!"
Part of the crowd, I sentenced him to die!
Oh, my Judas heart what have I done!
Oh, heavenly Father, I have betrayed your Son!
Crying and weeping, my heart slowly withers away~
So ashamed of what I took part in and witnessed that day.
As the days and nights slowly wore on.
I knew in my Judas heart what must be done.
In my heart I no longer wanted to live.
My own life, I wanted to give.
I bowed my head, feeling laden with sorrow.
What is the future of man's tomorrow?
I lifted up my face with tear stained delight.
There beyond me a beautiful luminous sight.
Was that Jesus standing there? Or was it a dream?
I wanted to run and tell him those things I said, I didn't mean.
I walked up to him crying and at his feet I knelt.
He looked at me, knowing my heart; what I felt.
He showed me his nail pierced hands~
Why He still loved me, I didn’t understand..
What I did I could no longer face.
But, in loving arms, I realized I was saved by his grace.
He said, He loved me and all men still.
That He died because it was His Father’s will~
That, through him, all men might be saved.
I knew then, in place of ours, his life He gave.
That all men may repent and be forgiven.
To be in heaven eternally~
Not In Hell, forever condemned.
To reign with the heavenly Father~
For all eternity, where unconditional love abides~
To be with Christ forever~ by His side.
Quill still as the sky
motionless arms akimbo
severe writer's block.
I was your never ending composer
We spent many a nights, and many an hour together
But now you’re lost inside
And I can’t find my way, again.
( chorus )
Cause I can’t say it without you
It hurts to be without the feeling
Never knowing when it will return
But I know that you would stay with me
If you came back, again some day
But till then I’ll wait till you appear.
I really miss the way you make me feel
People said we were meant to be together
Why’d you leave me so unexpectedly
I hope you come back soon.
( Chorus )
It’s been two months since I’ve written you
All I’ve got to show is crumpled bits of paper
The passion and creativity is now gone
So come back home so I can work it out.
It The Everyday Struggle That Make The Man
This struggle we live in,this world is or enemy and our friend we fight to see it beautiful.Have you ever heard "I've given up all hope and am ready to die to day"
I'm sorry but this is more this is not some joke have you no heart have you no thought on what someone other then you have to deal with.I want to see the smiling faces of everyone that a longing dream since the day i could walk,Dreams are meant to be kept close,hearts are meant to be keep open,life is meant to be filled to the fullest.How can you say forget it and go and prepare to be put 6 feet under? I'm taking on life building up this life to see a better future for those who think they have none.Who am I to say people are crazy when I myself am crazy.Who has never been grief sicken in't human to the least.I say to those out there it is an everyday struggle that make a boy into a man and a girl into a woman,but if there is love there then this is what should be said"it is beautiful to love but to love is to know how to grieve".
Frozen and left for dead
I can speak no words
nor shake my head
only the sky
© Christine A Kysely All Rights Reserved
(December 12th, 2011 Wausau, Wisconsin USA)
Contractual agreements with publisher caused DELETION
© 2011 JSL
Not this month.
*it is difficult to find words to rhyme with 'month.'
Yeah I'm back on that same road once more,
Struggling like litterally I see our very children eating off the dirt floor'
Who can really give a **** about dollars because where Im from over ninety percent living dirt poor,
Even down here the struggle remains the same,
Alcohol remains top dog around here it wont change,
We want something different yet we keep seeking just a little more money, just a little fame,
We aint happy with what we got now so we let the bull *****get to the brain.......
Its sad how our people let even ourselves be lowered to ask for pocket change,
We dying fast, no not our people but our culture cant you see the blood stains?
Cant you see the youth playing games, six feet deep is where many of our very own youth sleep, forever trapped in their death beds still laying,
I just hope I am remebered strong when Im gone confused why sometimes I wont stop praying...........but its alright though because Im back on that road again lost without family or friends......I dont know where to stop but I know where it begins........there's a meaning to everything in the start on this road so lets make this a memorable End......
Anguish paints the mask.
Choking on dysphoria
begrimes a collapsed heart.
Hypothermia sets in
when squeezing the color blue.
I do not know?
Salt soaked eyelids sagging
Unceasing streams of liquid
Tears stained the silk face
Painting the terrors of the day
Hush my child, I'll sing you a lullaby
Caressing you with the heavenly chorus
The ground does not desire anymore sorrow
But the stars crave your twinkle
Steadily, curtains of skin descend
Masking the pain etched into the eyes
Lips tremble, uneasy slumber
No more teddies, no more light
Hush, I'll bathe your dreams in white
Let the skin slide from your shoulders
Ease the suffering of physical wounds
I'll mend your broken winged heart to fly.
Tranquility overtakes the mind
Scattered breaths steady to an even beat
A rare peacefulness discovered
Yet the burning sun shall overtake the night
Hush, I'll cradle your bare heart
And fly you to the heaven of stars
Laugh as though you've never uttered a breath
For this shall not last
The morning blaze arises chasing the night
Ashes of humans piled up into mounds
The remains of dreams and lives broken
And one little child
Hush, my child Hush.
Inspiration is all around me. It swirles in the midst of darkness and deceit.
Blinded by dry tears...the deliverers of this blessed word find me when I know not what to look for or where...
I and my kind walk in circles looking for and end to pain, deceit, betrayal, unlove, uncareing. We are looking...but not invane.
When the circles we walk in seem endless take heart and know that it is not a downward spiral... Keep looking and you will see...
(C)....Catherine Buchner 2012
I do not know?
Greetings, good and kind fellow Soup-ers!
'Tis wonderful, I say,
to be a Soup-er, so if I may,
I humbly request you to lay down your pen dipped in fine ink,
and visit my blog which can be found at the following link:
Now if this blatant self-promoting of mine seems rude,
I ask for your generous forgiveness, dear fellow Soup-er,
And wish you a day, that is peaceful, kind, and just plain super!
So cheers from the scribbler for now,
and as I take leave, my fellow Soup-ers,
I, in courtesy, to you all, do bow!
I do not know?
WHERE DO I START? I DON'T THINK THERE IS WORDS , TO EXPLAIN HOW I AM
FEELING ABOUT THE LOSS OF YOU... BUT I WILL USE ALL THE STRENGTH YOU HAVE
GIVEN TO ME , SO I CAN GET THESE FINAL WORDS OUT THE GUILT , SADNESS AND
REGRET FROM NOT SEEING YOU LIKE I WANTED TO SO ****ING MUCH ,
THEN THE PAIN OF NOT HAVING A CHANCE TO SAY "GOODBYE" TO THE MOST
BEAUTIFUL MOTHER COULD WANT, AND YES MUM I'M TALKING ABOUT YOUTO HOLD
YOUR HAND, TO SEE YOU SMILE , TO HEAR YOUR VOICE, WOULD MAKE MY LIFE MORE
WORTHWHILE. YOU TAUGHT ME HOW TO LIVE, BUT YOU NEVER TAUGHT ME HOW TO
LIVE WITHOUT YOU I MISS YOU SO SO MUCH MUM, BUT THE LOVE IN MY HEART FOR YOU , WILL MAKE SURE
YOUR LIFE , LOVE , WARMTH AND TOUCH , WILL LIVE ON FOREVER ,
IN ME I KNOW THAT YOU CHANGED ME , JUST FROM YOUR
PRESENCE...THATS'S HOW STRONG YOU WERE MUM I KNOW YOU HAVEN'T LEFT ME ,
FOR THE LOVE IN MY HEART REMAINS , YOU WILL NEVER HAVE TO SUFFER AND YOUR
BODY WILL FEEL NO PAIN...... GOD TOOK YOUR HAND , AND MADE US PART , HE CLOSED
YOUR EYES , AND BROKE MY HEART ....FOR ALL THE TIMES WE HAVE BEEN TOGETHER,
I WILL NEVER FORGET YOUR FACE.
THERE IS NO MOTHER ANYWHERE LIKE YOU,
NO ONE COULD TAKE YOUR PLACE.
IF ONLY I HAD KNOWN YOU WERE LEAVING,
I GUESS I EXPECTED YOU TO FOREVER LAST,
ALL OF THE DREAMS OF US IN THE FUTURE,
ARE NOW BUT MEMORIES OF THE PAST.
GOD TAPPED YOU ON THE SHOULDER,
HE WAS THE ONLY ONE WHO KNEW,
THAT YOU WERE GOING WITH HIM,
TO THE SKY SO BEAUTIFUL BLUE.
ALTHOUGH I MAY NEVER SEE YOU MUM,
ARJAY WILL BE BY YOUR SIDE,
HE'S GONNA HOLD YOUR HAND,
AND LEAD THE WAY,
FOR HE WILL BE YOUR GUIDE.....
I LOVE YOU MY MOTHER.....
DON'T TELL ME THAT YOU UNDERSTAND,
DON'T TELL ME THAT YOU KNOW,
DON'T TELL ME THAT I WILL SURVIVE,
HOW I WILL SURELY GROW.
DON'T TELL ME THIS IS JUST A TEST,
THAT I AM TRULY BLESSED,
THAT I AM CHOSEN FOR THIS TASK,
APART FROM ALL THE REST.
DON'T COME AT ME WITH ANSWERS THAT CAN ONLY COME FROM ME,
DON'T TELL ME HOW MY GRIEF WILL PASS,
THAT I WILL SOON BE FREE.
DON'T STAND IN PIOUS JUDGMENT OF THE BONDS I MUST UNTIE,
DON'T TELL ME HOW TO SUFFER,
DON'T TELL ME HOW TO CRY.
MY LIFE IS FILLED WITH SELFISHNESS,
MY PAIN IS ALL I SEE,
BUT I NEED YOU,
I NEED YOU YOUR LOVE UNCONDITONALLY.
ACCEPCT ME IN MY UPS AND DOWNS,
I NEED SOMEONE TO SHARE,
JUST TO HOLD MY HAND AND LET ME CRY,
AND SAY, MY FRIEND I REALLY DO CARE
Mom you mean the world to me
It’s hard to live without you ,You were always by my side
Through thick and thin you helped me